


Shattered Wings

by Morgana_avalon



Category: Supernatural
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-05
Updated: 2019-04-05
Packaged: 2020-01-05 05:39:27
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 43,278
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18359726
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Morgana_avalon/pseuds/Morgana_avalon
Summary: My take on what happened after Ketch delivered Gabriel to the bunker.





	Shattered Wings

Shattered Wings

Sam wondered how to do this. Dean and Ketch hat just departed to find Mary and Jack, and he had been left to deal with a severely traumatized archangel. Gabriel didn’t just look bad; he looked like he had been to hell and back – which he had, literarily and figuratively speaking. So far Gabriel refused to make eye contact and stared either at the floor or the wall, shivering all over his body and producing pitiful moans, which barely managed to get past his sewed shut lips.

Sam was tempted to cut those offending threads right away, but had the feeling Gabriel wouldn’t be able to deal with seeing him handle a knife just yet. He had to be patient and bond a little first. Somehow he had to gain Gabriel’s trust, but was that even possible after everything the archangel had been through? Sam had met his fair share of demons, but none had seemed as vicious as Asmodeus. 

“Gabriel, can you hear me?” Hoping he didn’t spook Gabriel, Sam slowly pulled a chair closer and sat down at what was hopefully a safe distance for the archangel. Gabriel didn’t acknowledge him and continued to stare at the floor, twitching nervously. Sam realized he had his work cut out for him. 

“It’s Sam Winchester. I don’t know if you remember me, but I want you to know that I’m a friend. I don’t mean you any harm and I won’t hurt you. I’ll help you instead.” His words didn’t produce any noticeable reaction on Gabriel’s part, who continued to rock himself. 

Sam hoped his next move wasn’t going to backfire on him, but he had to start somewhere. Thinking it wise to announce any actions on his part, he leaned in closer and said, “I’m going to touch you. I’m going to hold your hand.” Sam was under the impression Gabriel might have heard him, as the twitches grew more pronounced and the archangel moved his head away, as if to create more distance. However, Gabriel seemed too afraid to actually oppose him. It tore at his heart to see the archangel act in such a submissive manner, but then again, Asmodeus had tortured Gabriel for years and he still had to find out the amount of abuse Gabriel had suffered.

Slowly, Sam raised his right hand, making sure Gabriel saw what he was doing. Gabriel’s gaze shifted toward his hand and he seemed to briefly wake from whatever trance he was in. The threads sewed through his lips made it impossible for him to speak. Any words he might have wanted to say were suffocated and changed into painful groans and terrified growls. 

“I’m not going to hurt you. I’m merely going to hold your hand. Nothing bad will happen, I promise.” He doubted his promise meant anything to the abused archangel, but he had to try. He had to pace himself and take small steps, otherwise the result of his effort to reassure Gabriel might be disastrous. The last thing he wanted was for the archangel to retreat ever further into his shell. 

Sam hardly realized he was holding his breath when he slowly rested his hand on Gabriel’s blood crusted fingers. Gabriel cringed and tried to move away, but then stilled his movements, probably afraid he would be punished if he didn’t cooperate. 

Sam hated himself for doing this, but he had to make use of Gabriel’s terror. “See, nothing bad will happen. I’m just wrapping my fingers around your hand and I’m holding it.” Accepting his touch was the first step. He had to take away Gabriel’s terror first, otherwise he might cause more injuries and he didn’t want that. 

Gently Sam curled his fingers around the trembling hand, which felt cold to the touch. He hadn’t considered it before, but if Gabriel was that drained, the archangel might be susceptible to cold. Maybe the pain Gabriel was in was too much handle at the moment. If that was the case getting Gabriel into a warm and comfortable bed was his first priority. But how was he going to accomplish that without sending Gabriel into another bout of terror?

“See, nothing’s wrong. I’m just holding your hand,” Sam said, using what was hopefully a calming tone. Gabriel seemed to accept the touch and had stopped shifting on the chair. Sam however didn’t fool himself into thinking that Gabriel wanted the contact. If it were up to the archangel, Gabriel would be cowering in a corner as far away from him as possible.

Wanting Gabriel to get used to a friendly touch again, Sam slowly stroked the trembling fingers. “I just want to help.” Moving slowly, he managed to twine their fingers and he cocked his head, smiling at the archangel and hoping to catch his gaze. But Gabriel continued to stare at the floor, although Sam noticed the brown eyes occasionally drifting to their joined hands. Gabriel was aware of what was happening and had registered the touch. It was a start. 

“Gabriel,” he said, using the name on purpose and as often as possible, “you feel cold. Maybe you would like to rest in a comfortable bed?” Sam hoped that hearing his name repeatedly would bring certain memories. Hopefully Gabriel would remember their past interactions.

Sam carefully monitored Gabriel’s reaction. The nervous shifting on the chair returned and Gabriel’s fingers froze within his, stilling all movement, as if afraid to draw any attention to his person. “I want to move you to my bedroom so you can get some rest. You’ll be comfortable there and you can get some sleep.” 

Gabriel’s restlessness doubled, just as Sam had suspected it would. “Nothing bad is going to happen to you. I just want you to rest and be comfortable. Can you walk?” He’d rather not carry Gabriel; the archangel needed to realize what he was still capable of. Not getting a response didn’t surprise Sam, who decided to go ahead at any rate. “Gabriel, can you stand?” 

Gabriel struggled briefly, trying to free his hand and to get away from him, but then ceased resisting him. Sam carefully pulled him to his feet and had to desert the hold on his hand as Gabriel swayed dangerously. Instead, Sam wrapped an arm around the archangel’s waist and steadied him. The iron stench of blood that clung to Gabriel made his stomach turn. He added a long soak in the bathtub to their to-do list. “Slowly, take it slowly. I don’t want you to fall and hurt yourself.” Gabriel sported enough injuries as it was.

Gabriel twitched violently and tried to move away from Sam, attempting to make himself as small as possible. “Gabriel, I won’t hurt you. I’m going to take you to my bedroom so you can get some rest. I know you can do this. You only need to place one foot in front of the other. That’s all you need to concentrate on, I’ll handle the rest.” Sam actually thought they were doing well. Gabriel wasn’t fighting him and tried to move along. The archangel couldn’t help being this exhausted and Sam kept that in mind. “You’re doing great. Just a few more steps.” 

Sam guided Gabriel down the corridor and toward his room. The longer they walked, the more Gabriel began to slouch against him. Sam fastened his hold on the archangel, practically carrying him each step of the way. “In case you’re wondering where you are, you’re at our bunker. Dean and I claimed it some time ago and made it our home. It’s heavily warded and you’re safe here.” Sam did his utmost to reassure Gabriel. 

“I’m going to open this door and then we’ll head for the bed,” he announced for good measure. He pulled Gabriel tightly against him, and had the feeling the archangel only allowed it because he was practically dead on his feet. Sam opened the door, switched on the light, and Gabriel tried to pull away again. 

“It’s just the lights. We need to see where we’re going,” Sam explained patiently. He would have preferred to stand still until Gabriel accepted his new surroundings, but had the feeling the archangel was about to lose consciousness. “Let’s do this.” He walked Gabriel over to the bed and helped him sit down.

“See? The mattress is soft and the comforter will keep you warm. Can you lie down for me?” Gabriel tried to pull his knees to his chest and start rocking again, and seeing it tore at Sam’s heart. At the same time however, on overwhelming hatred for Asmodeus was born. He vowed to make the Prince of Hell pay for what he had done to Gabriel. “No, don’t. Lie down instead. You’ll be more comfortable that way.” 

Using minimum force, but still some pressure, he maneuvered Gabriel onto his side. The exhausted archangel pulled his knees to his chest, wrapped his arms around his legs and buried his face against his chest. Sam knew why Gabriel acted that way; the archangel hoped to escape any attention -or to be more exact – punishment. 

“I’m covering you with the comforter because you feel cold. Gabriel, are you comfortable?” A nod was all he wanted, but Gabriel still refused to acknowledge him. So be it, Sam knew he had to be patient. He pulled up the comforter and loosely tucked the material around Gabriel’s trembling form. “You can close your eyes and rest. Try to get some sleep. Don’t leave the room, Gabriel. I’d hate having to search the bunker for you. There are sections I still haven’t been to.” But he didn’t think for one second that Gabriel would try to leave. The fear of punishment for disobeying an order would keep him in place. Sam didn’t like it, but used it to his advance – for now. 

“Once you feel a bit more rested, I’ll help you take a bath and we’ll see what we can do about your mouth. I’ll remove those threads.” That would be tricky at best. Sam studied the archangel and realized Gabriel had either fainted or fallen asleep. There was no way to tell the difference. Deep lines of worry formed on Sam’s brow. “I’m sorry for what he did to you, Gabriel. No one deserves such abuse, certainly not you.” Yes, Gabriel had played tricks on them, and when he went to bed on Tuesday’s evenings, at times he still feared waking up in a time loop, but Gabriel never had done any real damage. His pranks had been rather harmless, although Dean probably disagreed. 

Sam switched on the lamp of the dresser and turned off the lights on the ceiling. That way, Gabriel still saw his surroundings should he wake up unexpectedly, but the lights wouldn’t hurt his eyes. Sam didn’t close the door completely behind him, but left it ajar as he wanted to be able to hear any distress calls coming from within the room. After everything Gabriel had been through, Sam expected him to suffer from nightmares and he wanted to be there in case the archangel needed him. He knew from firsthand experience the damage nightmares did and how real they felt. He wouldn’t let Gabriel suffer through them alone.

….

After checking the time and finding it only five in the afternoon, Sam decided to get the coffee maker going and make himself some sandwiches. He would have loved to take some food to Gabriel, but until those threads had been removed the archangel couldn’t eat or drink. Gabriel had always been fond of sweets, and although Sam realized the archangel didn’t the nutrients, Gabriel had always enjoyed eating the sweets. 

Sam checked the warding again, made sure the security system was up and working, and then poured the last bit of coffee into his mug. He took it with him as he wanted to sit with Gabriel for a while. Up until now, there hadn’t been any noise coming from his bedroom, so he expected to find Gabriel soundly asleep. He was therefore stunned to find the archangel back on the floor, rocking himself and muttering inaudibly. Why hadn’t he heard Gabriel leaving the bed?

He placed his mug onto the dresser and sat on his heels in front of the distressed archangel. “Gabriel?” he whispered, wondering what kind of response he would get. The rocking motion stopped briefly, but then started again. At least Gabriel wasn’t trying to get away from him. “Why did you leave the bed? The floor is cold, hard, and uncomfortable.” Gabriel didn’t answer him, so Sam thought back to what Ketch had told him. 

Ketch had freed Gabriel from a dirty, little cell, in which Gabriel had pressed himself to the wall, scared to leave the place. Maybe it had become his safe place. Plus, it might feel good to have a wall against his back, knowing no one could sneak up on him from behind. However, it wouldn’t do to leave Gabriel there. “Let’s go back to the bed, yes?” 

Gabriel groaned and shrunk into himself, making himself as small as possible. Sam wanted to help so badly, but reminded himself to do this slowly. “Gabriel, can you get to your feet for me? I want you back in the bed.” To his surprise, the battered archangel tried to comply; he hadn’t expected that. Sam acted quickly, wrapped an arm around Gabriel, and guided him back to the bed. “Now lie down any way you’re comfortable.”

Giving Gabriel some maneuvering space, he watched him lie down on his side, facing the door . So, Gabriel was enough aware to notice something like that. Sam pulled up a chair and sat facing him. Gabriel lowered his gaze and buried his face in his hands. 

“Please don’t be afraid of me. I want to help. I’d never hurt you.” Sam leaned in closer and managed to pry those cold hands away from his face. Gabriel still felt cold to the touch and Sam quickly pulled up the comforter. “What happened? Why didn’t you stay in bed?” Sam maintained his hold on Gabriel’s hand, like he had done earlier. Hopefully it would help ground Gabriel.

Gabriel didn’t reply and Sam took an educated guess. “Did you have a nightmare?” Gabriel’s reaction told him he was right; the archangel mewed pitifully and kept his eyes tightly shut in order to avoid making eye contact. “You did.” A part of him was surprised to find that an archangel could suffer from nightmares at all. “I’ll stay with you for now. I won’t leave. I’ll help the next time you have a nightmare, I promise.”

Wanting Gabriel to have a choice, Sam added, “Do you want to go to sleep or take a bath instead?” He wasn’t sure Gabriel actually could go back to sleep, not if the archangel had had such a bad nightmare. “Maybe you prefer a long soak in the bathtub?” He also yearned to remove those threads. He knew that in Nordic mythology Loki’s lips had been sewed shut, but Gabriel was an archangel, and not a pagan god. So what had happened and who had done that to him? Asmodeus? Because the demon had gotten tired of Gabriel shooting off his mouth?

Since Gabriel wasn’t reacting it was up to Sam to take charge. “We’ll remove those threads first,” he said, keeping a close eye on Gabriel’s reaction. But the archangel remained still and nothing indicated he had heard. “I’m going to get my supplies and then we’ll remove them. Gabe, if you can, try to sit upright. That will make things easier. I’ll also be handling a knife, don’t worry about that. I won’t hurt you. I just need it to cut through those threads.” 

Sam had lowered himself onto his heels, trying to establish eye contact and for a long second he felt he had succeeded. Gabriel was looking at him, and Sam was convinced the archangel knew who he was and trying to help. Then the moment was gone and Gabriel was once more staring at the wall. 

“I’ll be right back, try to sit up, yes?” Sam let go of Gabriel’s hand after giving it a gentle squeeze and left the room. It would be interesting to see if Gabriel was sitting up at his return. It would tell him more about the rational part of the archangel. He was still convinced he was reaching Gabriel in one way or the other. 

Sam gathered a small surgical knife and disinfectant. Upon stepping back into the room, he smiled warmly at finding Gabriel sitting upright as requested. The archangel’s back was against the headboard and he was hugging himself, but Gabriel had understood his request and had complied with it. This was looking good and Sam grew hopeful he would manage to guide Gabriel back to them. 

“Well done,” he complimented Gabriel and slowly sat down on the side of the bed. He noticed the way Gabriel’s gaze moved toward the small surgical knife and the archangel flinched violently, telling him Asmodeus had probably enjoyed using a knife on him. “I won’t hurt you,” Sam repeated, “but I need you to sit still. Don’t move about once I start cutting. I don’t want to hurt you accidently. You have to help me out here, Gabe.” 

Again, the archangel shot him a confused look and Sam wondered what had triggered it. Calling him Gabe? Was that it? If that nickname had caused the reaction, Sam was going to continue to use it. “This is the knife I’ll use and later, if necessary, I’ll disinfect the wounds, which might sting a little.” Sam sat down on the bed and tried to establish eye contact, but Gabriel’s gaze remained elusive as the archangel preferred to stare at the wall instead.

“Gabe, I’m going to raise the knife and start cutting through those threads. I don’t think it’ll hurt, but it might cause you some discomfort. Please don’t move. I don’t want to cut you.” Sam slowly positioned the knife and started the delicate operation. Each time he cut through a thread, Gabriel flinched, but Sam didn’t believe it was due to pain. He chalked it down to surprise that Sam was actually doing this. “You’re doing great,” Sam praised him. “Just a little longer.”

The demon doing this, be it Asmodeus or one of his henchmen, probably enjoyed causing Gabriel pain, but he was intent on causing as little as possible. “Still doing great, almost there.” Sam was grateful that Gabriel kept still as it made removing the threads less dangerous. Removing another piece of thread, he sighed at realizing that he was almost done. “There you go, that’s the last bit.” Sam quickly placed the knife on the nightstand and carefully gathered the last bit of offending thread. “All done.” 

Sam wasn’t sure what to expect. Would Gabriel try to talk to him or remain quiet? If it were him he might want to convince himself his mouth was free again by touching his lips, but all Gabriel did, was stare at the ceiling. Though, looking closer, Sam noticed those brown eyes were swimming with unshed tears. The archangel seemed to be fighting them. “Hey, I get it. This is a huge deal and it’s okay to get emotional over that. I’m the last person to judge you. Don’t freak out on me, okay? I’m just going to hold you for a moment.” He would want Dean to hold him after suffering through a nightmare like Gabriel had.

Gabriel sucked in his breath when Sam loosely wrapped his arms around him, but he didn’t struggle to get away. Taking that as encouragement, Sam moved a little closer and guided Gabriel’s head against his shoulder. “It’s okay to let go.”

For one moment time seemed to stand still, as if Gabriel had found a way to halt time, but then the archangel rested his head against a shoulder. A few seconds later, Sam felt moisture starting to seep through the fabric of his shirt. Apparently Gabriel trusted him enough to cry in front of him. “Just let it all out. You’ll feel better later. I’m talking from firsthand experience, you know. I’ve been there. Not exactly where you are, but I’ve been through a similar ordeal and I promise it’ll get better. Just give it time.”

In what was hopefully a soothing manner, Sam rubbed Gabriel’s back, and was reminded of the fact that the archangel was still wearing soiled and blood covered clothes. Sam waited for Gabriel to calm down, and once the archangel stilled in his arms, Sam created some distance so he could get a good look at the archangel’s face. Gabriel’s eyes were red from crying, but Sam was under the impression they had also regained some alertness. 

“Gabe,” Sam said, once more noticing the way Gabriel peeked a glance at him before quickly averting his gaze again, “how about a nice, long soak in the bathtub? Let’s get you out of these clothes and clean you up a little.” It would also give him a chance to inspect those wounds more closely and if necessary attend to them. 

“Bathroom is right over there. See that open door? Why don’t I fill up the bathtub first and then I’ll come and get you? If you can, get out of those clothes. If you can’t, I’ll help. Yes?” Again, Sam hoped for some sort of response on Gabriel’s part. Was it just his imagination or had Gabriel really given him a quick nod? Sam liked to think so.

Sam let go of his charge and gave him a warm smile. “You can do this. I have faith in you.” He had to. Gabriel wasn’t just a trickster, Gabriel was the one who had gotten them into safety when Lucifer had shown up at the Elysian Fields hotel. Gabriel might have tricked them into believing he had died, but the archangel had also told them how to deal with Lucifer. Besides, he had to believe that good would always defeat evil. If a demon like Asmodeus had really broken an archangel like Gabriel, then what chance did Dean and he stand in the end?

Sam headed into the bathroom and turned on the tap. He checked the water temperature as he didn’t want to shock Gabriel’s battered system. He collected some towels and placed the disinfectant close to the tub. Once everything was ready, Sam turned around and then halted in the doorway. Gabriel was trying to remove his shirt, but wasn’t succeeding; his coordination was off. Sam cleared his throat so Gabriel knew he was back. Gabriel instantly froze.

After making his way over to the bed, Sam sat down on it and studied Gabriel momentarily. He was convinced that Gabriel was aware of what was happening, where he was and that he was among friends. However, he seemed to freeze the moment he felt caught. “Want some help with that?” Sam offered. Having become accustomed to Gabriel not reacting to any offers, Sam merely went ahead and helped the archangel rid himself of the garment. Sam dropped it onto the floor and couldn’t hide his shock at seeing the multitude of wounds on Gabriel’s upper body. 

Burns, bruises, deep cuts and what Sam reckoned were bite marks marred Gabriel’s chest and arms. Once Sam got a first look at the archangel’s back, he started to feel physically ill. “What did that bastard do to you?” escaped him, upon seeing the angry marks on Gabriel’s back. Had Asmodeus actually whipped him? Sam rested the palm of his hand on Gabriel’s back and examined the angry welts. “I have to disinfect these.”

Sam didn’t notice it a first, but Gabriel had turned his head and was watching him. His first instinct was to remove his hand, thinking his touch was unwelcome, but the archangel then subtly shifted towards him and not away from him. Sam nodded in understanding and pulled Gabriel into his arms once more. “You’re not alone. You don’t have to do this on your own. I can help.” The fact that Gabriel welcomed his touch gave Sam hope. 

After holding him for what felt like eternity, Sam moved away. Cocking his head, he intercepted Gabriel’s gaze. The expression in those large eyes was calm and accepting. “Shall we do this then? We need to lose the pants too.” Sam supported Gabriel when he tried to get to his feet and helped him step out of them. “These have to go.” He would burn them later. 

Gabriel swayed and Sam quickly steadied him. After wrapping an arm around the archangel’s shoulders, he guided him into the bathroom. Gabriel managed to get into the tub and Sam assisted him in sitting down, carefully making sure the archangel didn’t accidently lose his footing. “We don’t want you to slip, do we?” Sam made sure that a smile accompanied his words.

Now that Gabriel was seated in the tub, Sam got to work. “I’m going to clean you up, wash your hair, and check on your wounds. You’re safe with me, remember?” This time he didn’t imagine Gabriel giving him a slight nod. “Great!” 

Sam went slow, as he didn’t want to startle or rush Gabriel. “Let’s do your hair first.” The normally blond strands were dirty and covered in dried blood. Large parts were matted together and he used a lot of conditioner trying to detangle them. Next, he attended to the back covered in raw and badly healed welts, which were definitely the result of being whipped. Sam removed the dirt that clung to the bruised skin and made a mental note to disinfect them later. Moving onto the chest area, he noticed a lot of cuts, some deep, some shallow. One way or another, Asmodeus was going to pay for this, Sam promised himself. 

Once he reached Gabriel’s waist, he gave the archangel an thoughtful look. “Can you do the rest yourself or do you want me to do that?” Gabriel gingerly made eye contact, seemed to hesitate at first, but then accepted the wash cloth. Sam felt thrilled; that was great process. “I’ll be back in a moment. Don’t get up just yet.” Gabriel seemed drained and would have trouble standing on his own. Sam turned away to give his charge some privacy and went into the bedroom to change the bed linen. 

Several minutes later, Sam returned and found that Gabriel had finished. The archangel absent-mindedly stared at the muddy water that surrounded him. Sam draped a large towel over his shoulder and sat down on the edge of the tub. “Hair first,” he announced his intentions. Gabriel remained still and Sam dried the hair, which was fair once more. “Looking much better,” he said, hoping that Gabriel was beginning to feel more like himself. 

“Move along with me if you can.” Sam pulled Gabriel slowly to his feet, and found the archangel terribly unsteady. “Lean against me, hold onto me, if you can and don’t let go.” Waiting for Gabriel to react – or not, Sam tightened his hold on the archangel. When arms tentative reached for him and a hand settled around his neck, Sam smiled again. “I’m going to lift you, don’t be scared. I promise not to drop you. Are you ready?” He wanted Gabriel off his feet, as he suspected his charge was tired to the bone. 

Movement against his shoulder indicated another nod and Sam slowly lifted him, securing him in his arms. He quickly carried Gabriel back to the bed, sat him down, and wrapped him up in a large towel. “Tell me if I cause you pain. I don’t know how tender your back is.” Sam took great care in gently drying Gabriel’s skin. Once he was done, he draped the towel around Gabriel’s body to cover up his lower body. 

“I know you’re tired and just want to rest,” Sam said, correctly reading Gabriel’s expression. “But I should really tend to your wounds first. Will you let me?” Sam hoped Gabriel would try talking to him, but all he got was another tired nod. “Great.” Sam hummed softly, while he disinfected the wounds, reckoning silence might make the archangel feel uncomfortable. 

Rubbing the ointment onto the bruised and sometimes still bleeding skin confronted Sam with the severe damage once more. Asmodeus had had Gabriel for years. Who knew what lows the demon had stooped to? There had to be a lot of hidden damage, wounds which had healed on the outside, but the archangel’s emotional state was something completely different. 

Thankfully he had stopped Dean from using up all of the grace Ketch had given them. Sam had put his foot down and told his brother no. Part of it had to be returned to Gabriel. He had been adamant about that, and right now, Sam wondered if they shouldn’t have kept all grace instead of opening up that portal. He shared Dean’s worries concerning their mother and Jack, but maybe the price they had to pay for that visit would prove too high. 

“I’m done; you’re going to be fine eventually. Those wounds will heal.” Gabriel’s vessel would recover, but would the archangel as well? Sam decided against putting Gabriel in sweats for now as he wanted easy access to those wounds in case they worsened and grew infected. He removed the wet towel and retrieved his morning robe, which was probably too large for Gabriel, but at least it was handy. 

Sam helped Gabriel slip into the morning robe and then exchanged the bed for the chair. Gabriel might want some distance between them after sharing something as intimate as a bath. He might feel ill at ease too if he were in Gabriel’s situation. 

Gabriel raised his head and for the first time since his arrival at the bunker tried to take in his surroundings. Sam nodded encouragingly, glad that the apathy and fear was lessening . “This is my room, I hope you don’t mind.” Gabriel placed the palm of his hand against the mattress and then gave him another tentative look. “Yes, that’s my bed, but for the moment it’s yours. The bunker comes with a large number of bedrooms and couches, so don’t worry about it.” 

Gabriel broke off eye contact and surveyed the rest of the room. Sam welcomed the interest for it meant the archangel was fully aware once more. “Gabe, can you talk to me?” He had wondered about that. Normally the archangel was very talkative, but so far, he remained silent. Gabriel focused on him again, but then lowered his gaze, all of a suddenly looking terribly intimated. All right, this was probably too much and too soon. Sam reckoned Asmodeus had severely punished Gabriel for any reaction he might have shown. 

“How about something to eat? Or a drink? It’s time for dinner anyway. I know you don’t need to eat, or drink for that matter, but maybe it’ll help your vessel heal?” Sam wasn’t sure he would get a response, but he could have sworn that the expression in Gabriel’s eyes changed, even though the archangel remained silent. “How about some soup? That’s easy on the stomach, but will fill you up. I’ll add chocolate pudding for dessert, yes?” He then noticed the strained way Gabriel was sitting. 

“Let me help,” Sam offered and piled three pillows against the headboard. In afterthought, he asked, “Or does your back hurt too much?” Gabriel minutely shook his head and then reclined against the pillows, sighing softly. “Better?” Gabriel looked at him with tired eyes, almost pleading with him to give him some rest. “Yeah, you get some rest, I’ll start on dinner. I’ll be back in thirty. If something’s wrong, just call my name.” He hoped Gabriel would. The archangel closed his eyes and fell asleep, his body relaxing at long last.

“I won’t fail you, I promise,” Sam said passionately. He wouldn’t rest until Gabriel had recovered.

TBC

 

 

Part 2

His dreams dragged Gabriel back down into hell. He found himself in the throne room, incarcerated in his dirty jail cell and on easy display for whenever Asmodeus wanted to gloat or show him off to any visitors the current King of Hell wanted to impress or intimidate. 

In the beginning he had fought Asmodeus. He had refused to give in without a fight, even though he had been helpless and had never stood a chance. Loki’s despicable actions had left him defenseless and an easy victim for Asmodeus to prey upon. Still, he had fought – and had paid the price for his insolence. His lips had been sewed shut and then the torture had started.

Each and every day Asmodeus had tormented him. The Prince of Hell had even invented new means of torture trying to break him. Gabriel had suffered in silence, unable to even voice his pain. In the end, he had given up and had just taken the abuse. 

Asmodeus had managed to truly break him. Every thought of fighting back had been beaten out of him. There had been days when he had hoped he would finally succumb to the torture, but then Asmodeus would stop and make sure he rested until he was strong enough to absorb even more punishment.

His life had become an endless circle of pain and suffering and Gabriel chose to forget who and what he was in an effort to protect himself. He forced himself to forget that he was a celestial being; that he had been an archangel once. That he’d known freedom. He even tried to forget his name, but Asmodeus kept reminding him, using it to taunt him. 

And that had been the easy part. He had wanted to die the moment Asmodeus had drained his grace for the first time, which had been bad enough, but watching the demon inject himself with it and attaining more strength had been the worst; knowing that his grace was strengthening a demon made Gabriel want to die. He felt degraded, debased, and utterly ashamed. 

Foremost ashamed, because he couldn’t stop Asmodeus. As the demon grew strong, he weakened until only a shadow of his former self remained. A part of him clung to life, was still fighting to live, but why, he didn’t know. He wished he did, so he could stop himself from hanging on, but figments of his imagination regularly reminded him of a different life he had once led and that part yearned to be whole again.

But that would never happen, Gabriel knew that. He concentrated on drawing in his next breath and listened to the sounds coming from the bunker’s kitchen where Sam Winchester was fixing dinner. Gabriel shifted slightly, trying to get more comfortable. His back hurt, but he was used to pain by now. His bones ached, his skin burned, and he was too tired to keep his eyes open. 

The worst thing however was that he still felt utterly broken. Something inside him was wrecked beyond repair. Asmodeus had reduced him to a mere echo of his former self and he would never find the way home – never. So why should he even try? It was easier to give up and to submit to whatever fate held in store for him. He had become used to following commands and had ceased thinking independently as it had only caused him pain. 

In an effort to distract himself, he focused on the sounds, smells, and sensations around him. Those had grounded him in the past when he had lost his mind for longer periods of time. Asmodeus’ torture had been too much to bear and he had locked his mind away in order to protect himself. The trouble was, that part of him had woken due to Sam’s ministrations and Gabriel didn’t remember how to lock it away again. 

Classical music floated through the bunker. Sam must have turned on the radio. There had been a time when he would have been able to name the musical piece. But parts of his memory refused to cooperate and had gone blank. He was grateful though, as the music enabled him to focus his thoughts. 

His fingernails dug into the sheet beneath him, once more reminding him that he was no longer in his jail cell. He was at the bunker, in Sam’s bed to be exact. He probably should feel guilty for occupying the man’s bed, but he lacked the energy to do so. All energy was directed to keeping him breathing, thinking, and stopping him from going insane. 

Gabriel thought he smelled coffee and freshly baked bread, but he might be deluding himself into believing that. When he had just been imprisoned, he had made the mistake to lose himself in daydreams. Fantasying about better days had only made things worse. It was best to face reality, no matter how ugly and painful said reality was.

Reality… Reality however had drastically changed. Instead of finding himself in his cell at Asmodeus’ mercy, he was at the bunker, momentarily safe, until the Prince of Hell would come for him and reclaim him. That fear was always there with him. He didn’t think he would survive going through that hell again. But at the moment he was safe, he reminded himself. 

Another wondrous thing that had improved was his physical state. Sam had removed those threads, enabling to move his lips again. So far he hadn’t attempted speech. He had forgotten what his voice actually sounded like after so many years. When Sam had cut those treads, he had desperately hung on to his sanity, a part of him convinced that Asmodeus had found a new way to torture him. 

But Sam repeatedly touching him had pulled him from his fears. Those strong fingers wrapped around his, Sam steadying him when he was about to fall, and then helping him bathe; those gestures showed Sam cared. There was no way a sadistic demon like Asmodeus knew how to make that feel real to him, therefore Sam had to be the real thing. He hoped…

Gabriel uncovered his right hand from beneath the comforter that still carried Sam’s scent, slowly raised it, and touched his lips in bewilderment. It was real; that much was true. He moved his lips, stunned that he could actually do so. It didn’t hurt, but it felt surreal. 

He was able to breathe normally for the first time in years. He yearned to drink some water, for his throat ached and his insides too. Under normal circumstances his vessel wouldn’t need to eat or drink, but in this drained state the body created its own demands. It needed fuel if it wanted to repair itself now his grace couldn’t help him heal. Maybe, if he was lucky, Sam would remember his promise to bring him that soup, but he wouldn’t ask for it. He had learned his lesson.

“Hey, are you awake again? I brought you that soup I promised.”

Sam’s sudden appearance startled him and he stared at the Winchester in surprise. He hadn’t heard him enter. 

“Ah, you’re awake, good. I hope you like tomato soup. Dean won’t touch it, as the package says it’s healthy and organic. It tastes really good though.”

The fact that Sam talked that much really helped him put everything in perspective. Sam told him what to expect and that stopped him from panicking. He watched Sam place a tray onto the nightstand. It held the bowl of soup and other things, but Gabriel’s senses were trained on the promised food. He kept perfectly still though, not wanting to give himself away. Asmodeus had loved to play that particular game; promise him something and then take it away at the last moment. It was best not to react. 

Sam pulled up his chair and sat down close to the bed. “Can you feed yourself or do you want me to assist you?”

Faced with that question, Gabriel raised his right hand and realized he was still shaky. The soup would probably end up all over him and he had just taken that bath. Sam’s gaze was trained on his hand and the other man had to notice the tremors. No, he couldn’t feed himself – not yet. How he hated himself for being so weak. For being unable to perform such an easy task!

“Still too exhausted…” Sam whispered and then smiled reassuringly. “I’ll help. It’s no problem. I’ve got to move closer though. Do you mind me sitting down next to you? It’ll be easier that way, and since we don’t want to create a mess, the best way to do this. Would that be okay, Gabe?”

Gabe, there it was again. It was the thing that had called him back from that secret place where he had locked his mind away. Why was Sam Winchester calling him that? Gabe… 

“Hey, what’s on your mind? You have this really strange look on your face.” Sam seemed to consider something. “Do you mind me calling you that? Gabriel sounds so severe… I kinda like Gabe.”

He wanted to reassure Sam that he didn’t mind, that the other man could call him whatever he wanted. He wouldn’t dare object to something that trivial. Objecting usually equaled pain. 

“Don’t startle, I’m just sitting down next to you.” Sam got up from his chair and slid onto the bed. He rested his back against the headboard and stretched his long legs. “Is this okay for you?”

The fact that Sam constantly asked for his consent was getting to him. No one had cared about what he wanted for a long time. Sam reached for the bowl with soup, stirred, and then scooped some onto the spoon. 

“I do hope you like tomato soup.” 

The look Sam gave him told him that he was expected to accept the offering, and he really want to, but to actually part his lips and open his mouth… It took concentration on his part. In the end, he remembered the mechanics and managed to partly open his mouth. His jaws however ached slightly. 

“That’s great. I knew you could do it,” Sam said encouragingly. “The soup has cooled so it should be fine to eat.”

The sensation of the soup entering his mouth took him by surprise and he almost forgot to swallow. He closed his eyes, savoring the taste and actually being able to eat again. He fought the tears that once more pushed against his eyelids. No, he had cried earlier and he still felt terribly ashamed because of that. He wasn’t going to make himself that vulnerable again. So far Sam hadn’t hurt him, but what if it really was Asmodeus in disguise?

“Let’s try another one, shall we? You seem to like it. And I even brought some treats, in case you still want more food later on. I know you have a sweet tooth.”

Did Asmodeus know that about him? Did the Prince of Hell know of his fondness of candy? He couldn’t remember and decided to concentrate on managing another mouthful of soup. It had to be tedious for Sam to feed him this way, but the younger man didn’t seem to mind. At least, it didn’t show. It took them several minutes, but in the end, he managed to finish the soup, which now felt heavy in his stomach. He had never been this much aware of his body before, but with so little angelic grace left, he was more human than archangel.

Sam placed the bowl back onto the tray and tried to capture his gaze. He gave in and made eye contact, needing it in order to keep himself from going insane and grounding him. What if Sam was really Sam and not Asmodeus? Was it possible he had actually gotten away from the Prince of Hell?

“I have no idea what’s going on your mind. Can you tell me? Maybe I can help.”

Sam sounded like the Sam he had known. He even smelled the same way, carried himself in that typical Winchester way, but was any of this real? He was afraid to believe he was safe.

“Let me say this again, because I believe you really need to hear it. You’re at the bunker. Ketch brought you here and you’re safe. I won’t let anyone get to you. You’re safe with me.”

It sounded too good to be true, but what he really needed was proof, but how to tell what was real and what an illusion? He had lost that ability when his archangel powers had diminished. 

“You’re looking at me like…” Sam paused and seemed to gather his thoughts. “I’m real, you know. All of this is real. You’re at the bunker. Damn, how can I convince you of that? Maybe… Do you remember the first time we met? You pretended to be a janitor. Dean and I had no idea what we were dealing with until Bobby told us about you being a trickster and your fondness of sweets.” Sam smiled and then continued, “Dean will never forgive you for killing him all those times and I still hate Tuesdays, but you tried to teach me a lesson and I’ve forgiven you for that.”

Again, did Asmodeus know these things? He wasn’t sure. He wanted to believe he was safe, but could he?

“I can go on and on, but Gabe, it’s up to you to believe me or not. I hope you decide to trust me though.”

He noticed the way Sam held his breath when he reached for the other man’s hand. Sam felt real; warm and real… Real… He didn’t make his decision easily, but did he actually have a choice? He had to believe this was real if he wanted to survive. If it turned out to be Asmodeus playing mind games, he would let himself fade away and lock away what was left of him, which wasn’t much to begin with. He chose to believe Sam was real and that he had escaped his prison – he had to and so he nodded, still reluctant to speak.

“Thanks for that. I won’t let you down.” 

Sam’s smile was warm and inviting and he couldn’t help smile in turn. He knew he was a mess and not much to look at, but Sam didn’t seem to mind.

“That’s the first time I saw you smile, thanks, Gabe.”

Maybe it was Sam calling him Gabe that made him want to put his trust in the youngest Winchester. Not even in his wildest dreams could Asmodeus come up with something like that. Sam Winchester however would. 

“Want some chocolate pudding? I can also make hot chocolate if you prefer that. Or do you want something else? You can tell me. If we got it, I’ll fetch it for you.”

Gabriel had a hard time convincing himself that it was okay to speak again. That it was safe to talk to Sam, and in the end, he failed. A part of him still vividly recalled the sadistic ways Asmodeus had used to punish him for even whimpering in pain. Being silent was still too deeply ingrained on him. 

“Just nod when you hear something you’d like. Chocolate pudding? No? Hot chocolate?”

Taking a leap of faith, he nodded. Yes, he wanted something hot, since he felt cold on the inside. The soup had helped, but only marginally. 

“Hot chocolate it is. I’ll be right back. You just rest, okay?”

He nodded again, feeling safe doing that. Sam got to his feet and he instantly mourned losing the other man’s body warmth. It had helped fight the chill in his bones. Now that he was alone, he touched his lips again, once more confirming their current state. He dropped his hand back onto the mattress and looked about. So this was Sam Winchester’s room. Why had Sam taken him here when there were countless other rooms to choose from?

Why couldn’t he stop asking himself these questions? He should simply accept it; made things easier that way. The soup made him sleepy, but he fought to keep his eyes open. After all, he had been promised hot chocolate. He had quite forgotten what it tasted like though. He had loved it in the past, he still remembered that. He didn’t know how much time passed by until Sam returned, but suddenly the other man appeared in the doorway, carrying a mug. 

This time Sam didn’t announce his actions, probably assuming he knew what to expect. Sam took his place on the bed again and motioned him closer, which he did, trying hard not to appear too eager. He yearned for the return of the other man’s body heat though. 

To his surprise Sam reached for his right hand and pulled it close, only to wrap it around the mug. He wasn’t sure he could handle the hot chocolate without making a mess, and Sam must have realized the same thing as that large hand tenderly supported his. 

“Sip slowly. If you want more, I’ll make some.”

It was beyond him why Sam seemed happy to take care of him when he was nothing but a terrible burden. Following Sam’s advice he sipped carefully. It tasted amazingly and he wanted more, but knew he had to pace himself. His stomach was unused to food and might rebel if he went too fast.

“How tired are you?” Sam inquired as he guided Gabriel’s hand to sip again. “I can move you somewhere else if you feel cooped up in here. You might like the study, or I can show you around the library. Do you even like books?”

He had a hard time concentrating on just drinking and swallowing the hot chocolate and ignored Sam’s questions momentarily. It also didn’t help that the hot drink was making him even sleepier, and every now and then, his eyes started to close. He managed half of the hot chocolate before fatigue got the better of him. The last thing he noticed was Sam quickly taking the mug from him and tucking the comforter around his form. Then sleep claimed him and the nightmare began.

…

“Don’t you dare give me that look, boy. You know what happens when you do.”

Gabriel swallowed hard, trying to rid himself of the blood that seeped down his throat. Asmodeus had smashed him against the wall and had caused serious damage. He didn’t try to get up, knowing only too well that the demon would kick him until he went down again and stayed down. He cowered in the corner, trying to protect his head when the kicks started again. 

“You don’t know your place yet, do you, son? I’ll make sure you remember though. That’s where you belong, groveling at my feet.”

At first, he had hated Asmodeus with a passion, but these days, hatred demanded energy which he no longer had. He took the punishment because it was easier than fighting back. He had quickly learned that fighting back only made things worse.

“You stay down, boy, and don’t give me any grief.” 

Listening to Asmodeus’ fading footsteps, he realized the demon was moving away from him. Maybe it meant he was getting a respite, but then again, he was afraid to hope. It wouldn’t be the first time Asmodeus returned with a knife, whip, or other instrument to torture him with. The whip was the worst, as it always cut open his back and left him bloody.

“Maybe you’ll learn obedience one day,” Asmodeus said, mocking him. “But until then, you need the whip to remind you. I told you not to move.”

It wasn’t the first time Asmodeus was playing this particular game and he shuddered, knowing today was going to be a bad day. He hadn’t moved, he had made sure of that and yet Asmodeus cracked the whip, gripping the handle tightly and dangling it in front of him. “You earned yourself an old-fashioned, flogging, Gabriel.”

Asmodeus raised the whip and then it impacted on his back, causing him to yelp in pain. He cursed himself for that yelp, knowing it would cost him.

“What part about being silent, don’t you understand, boy?”

He curled up, trying to make himself as small as possible. When the whip impacted again he forced himself to remain quiet, knowing each sign of distress on his part would make his punishment more severe. He had to endure, he just had to…

“Gabriel, I need you to wake up for me. Come on, you’re having a nightmare. Wake up!”

He blinked; whose voice was that? It wasn’t Asmodeus and that strange voice definitely didn’t belong in his personal hell. It sounded like it cared.

“Gabriel, you’re safe with me. Remember me? Sam Winchester? You’re at the bunker and you’re having a nightmare. I need you to wake up now.”

Sam? Sam Winchester? Did he know that name? Suddenly his surroundings faded away and Asmodeus was gone. The throne room had disappeared and instead, he was… Where was he? 

“You’re in my room, in case you don’t remember. I took you here so you could rest, but Gabriel, we don’t do nightmares around here. I need you to wake up and remember where you are. You ARE safe, please remember!”

The pleading voice demanded his attention and urged him to open his eyes. When had he closed them? He frantically looked about and didn’t understand why he wasn’t in hell anymore. Asmodeus had been whipping him and…

“That’s it. Look at me, will you? Gabe, you’re safe. You had a nightmare, but I pulled you away from it, as I promised I would. Please look at me. It’s Sam, Sam Winchester. You know me!”

There was that name again; Sam Winchester, and yes, it sounded familiar. He had known a Sam once. Afraid to find he had been tricked, he looked at the man with great reluctance. What if Asmodeus’ ugly face would stare back at him, grinning and announcing he had defied him again? Defiance was always punished. But when he looked up, it wasn’t the demon staring back at him. “Sam…” he whispered, surprising himself by doing so. He hadn’t intended to actually say the name aloud. 

“Yes, that’s it. Damn, it’s good to hear your voice again. You had me worried!”

It was good to hear his voice again? He blinked in shock. For the last couple of years he had been told to keep his big mouth shut.

“You had a nightmare and I tried to wake you. You still look shaken. Do you want to tell me what frightens you that much?” Sam offered with a hopeful look on his face.

Gabriel shook his head in disbelief. What madness was this?

“Ketch got you out and took you to the bunker. I’ve been looking after you since,” Sam explained patiently. “Is there anything I can do to help?”

He had no idea. Now that the nightmare was fading, he was remembering things. Yes, Ketch had dragged him from that rat hole and he even recalled their trip to the bunker. Sam… He raised his head and looked Sam in the eye. Sam cared. 

“I’m here for you,” Sam reminded him. “You can talk to me. I’d love hearing your voice again. I liked the sound of my name coming from your lips. Maybe you can say my name again?”

Why would the other man want that? Feeling emotionally drained, Gabriel closed his eyes again, but memories of the nightmare he’d just experienced, sneaked back in and he quickly opened them. It was best to stay awake for now as the nightmare could easily take hold of him again. 

“Gabe, I wish you’d tell me how to help. I don’t know what to do.”

He didn’t know the answer either and the thought of talking, merely talking to Sam made him feel queasy. He wasn’t supposed to talk at all.

“Can you say my name again?” Sam requested in a hopeful voice. “Gabriel, you can do this. Don’t let him win.”

He raised his head, looked at Sam for a moment and the expression in those green eyes stunned him. Sam was sincere; the other man wanted to help. Not wanting to let Sam down, he whispered, “Sam…” and then grew quiet again. 

“I actually like the way you say my name, you should do so more often!”

Sam seemed relieved and Gabriel wondered why. Was it because he had obeyed? Or was it something else? 

“Do you want to tell me about your nightmare? I know you’d rather not, but it might help.” Sam chuckled mirthlessly. “But who am I to tell you that? Do you have any idea how many times Dean had to cajole me into telling him? And I never told him everything to begin with. I wanted to protect him from the evil I’d seen. Having Lucifer mess with your mind isn’t something you want people to know. Dean doesn’t half of the stuff I’ve been through.”

Sam was right; he didn’t want to tell the Winchester about those long years spent as Asmodeus’ prisoner. But he loved listening to the other man as Sam’s calming voice helped him focus. But did he have the courage to tell him that? To raise his voice and address him?

“Whatever you’re thinking about, just do it,” Sam advised. “Don’t over think it. Tell me.” 

Sam gave him an expectant look and maybe addressing him wouldn’t warrant any punishment. There was only one way to find out and that scared him. How was he going to phrase this? How many words to use? How would he sound? Would his voice betray his distress? Did any of it matter? “Can you… talk?” Was that all right? He wasn’t asking for too much, was he? Maybe he should have stayed quiet instead? 

“That’s it? You want me to talk? Sure, I can do that. I hope you won’t regret that request though. Dean regularly tells me to shut up cause I keep babbling.”

The smile Sam gave him rendered him speechless again. Sam looked incredibly pleased, smug even for having lured him into talking. He remained silent though, needing to know if any punishment would follow. He still had a hard time believing he was safe and that Sam Winchester was for real. Any moment now, Sam would change into Asmodeus and the torture would start all over again.

“Gabe, you look like you’re about to throw up. Do I need to move you into the bathroom?” Sam’s smile faded and deep lines of worry appeared on his brow instead. “Talk to me, man.”

He hadn’t planned on talking again so soon, but he had to know, “Are you real?” If it was truly Asmodeus in disguise, would the demon now show himself?

Sam frowned and seemed unsure of how to interpret his question. “Yeah, I’m real, why…” Then his eyes widened. “I’m not Asmodeus!” Gabriel flinched and Sam noticed it. “Sorry for saying his name, but it was necessary.” Sam nodded in understanding. “Trust me, I know what it’s like when you don’t know whom to trust. I’ve got ample experience in that department.” Sam reached for the small surgical knife he’d left on the nightstand earlier. “Demons bleed black, you know that.”

Gabriel kept a close eye on that knife. He had been cut so many times that he vividly remembered the pain a cut from that knife would bring him. He flinched upon seeing Sam cut his thumb, drawing blood, which was red and not black, proving he wasn’t a demon. “I’m sorry,” he offered, feeling guilty for having caused pain. “You didn’t have to do that.”

“It’s just a shallow cut. Nothing to worry about.” Sam licked the droplets from his thumb and shrugged. “If it helps you believe I’m real, it’s worth it.” Sam placed the knife aside. “And you’re talking again! I meant what I said earlier; it’s good to hear your voice. I worried about you, but I had faith you’d pull through.”

He wasn’t so sure of that. Asmodeus had broken him, Gabriel knew that, and he wondered why Sam still had faith in him. 

“You’re over thinking again, I can tell,” Sam gently admonished him. “We took you in because we wanted to. You can stay as long as you’d like. Just think of the bunker as your new home.”

It was a generous offer, one he wasn’t worthy of. If he decided to stay – provided Sam was honest and he really had a say in the matter – it wasn’t the bunker which would be his new home. He had never grown attached to places. Even heaven was just that – a place to reside. Home were the ones he loved – or had loved and who had deserted him. If he made this his new home it would be because he wanted to stay with Sam Winchester. 

TBC

 

 

 

 

 

Part 3

Sam lacked the words to describe his relief now that Gabriel was talking again. The archangel had been scared to do so; it had shown in his expression and the nervous way he moved. And yet, Gabriel had done it. He had faced his fears and done away with them. Sam felt immensely proud because of that. His priority now was to deepen that trust and keep Gabriel grounded. 

That nightmare had taken a lot out of the archangel, who was still shaken. Sam would have loved to find out what it had been about, but wasn’t going to force him. Gabriel had to make that decision out of his own accord. Since the archangel had asked him to continue talking, Sam was eager to do just that. But those brown eyes were closing once more and the archangel was losing the fight to stay awake. 

“You can get more sleep, if you want to,” Sam said, “I promise to wake you if you have another nightmare.” Sam wondered if he shouldn’t leave the bed and give Gabriel some privacy. He could also watch over the archangel while sitting in his chair. As he started to shift away from Gabriel, he got an instant response.

“Please, stay…”

The whispers were almost too soft to hear, but Sam registered them nonetheless. He could have sworn Gabriel was about to panic now that he was moving away and so he stilled. “Do you want me this close? I’m not crowding you? I can sit over there in that chair and I’d still be close.”

“Please…”

All right, that settled the matter. If Gabriel wanted him close, he would do just that. He moved closer and the archangel rested his weary head against his chest, practically cuddling up to him. That move was rather unexpected. Apparently Gabriel wanted him really close. “I’m not going anywhere. I’ll stay.” He would do anything within his power to make sure Gabriel felt safe. “Are you comfortable?”

“Yes.”

Sam noticed that Gabriel limited himself to very short answers. It would probably take some time before the archangel felt confident enough to really start talking. “How about I read to you? I just started reading ‘The count of Monte Christo’. I always wanted to, but never got the chance. You might like it too.” Gabriel nodded and seemed to relax somewhat, which Sam took as a good sign. He picked up the book from the nightstand, opened it, and scraped his throat. “On the 24th of February, 1815, the look-out at Notre–Dame de la Garde signalled the three-master, the Pharaon, from Smyrna, Trieste, and Naples.”

…

Sam had stopped reading some time ago, but made sure to stay awake. He had placed the book aside, tucked the comforter tighter around their forms, and kept a close eye on Gabriel, who was still asleep. Sam couldn’t stop watching him. Now that the terror of the nightmare left him alone, Gabriel was at peace. The tension lines had slipped away from his face, his hands had relaxed and stopped clawing at his shirt. His breathing had evened out, becoming deep and steady. 

If his presence helped, Sam was determined to stay close. It was the least he could do to help. It wasn’t like he had other matters to attend to. Dean wasn’t scheduled to return until tomorrow and until then, there was nothing he could do. But he could support Gabriel. 

His hand moved out of his own accord and his fingers brushed stray blond strands away from Gabriel’s face. Thankfully the archangel had allowed him to clean him up, and it was good to see Gabriel looking more like himself again. Sam wasn’t deluding himself though. It was apparent that Asmodeus had done a lot of damage. 

Also, the fact that Gabriel’s vessel wasn’t healing the way it should, told Sam the archangel was extremely drained and all they had left, was a small remnant of Gabriel’s grace. Would the archangel ever wholly recover from his ordeal? Sam forced himself to have faith. If he had learned one thing throughout the years, it was that nothing was ever set in stone.

…

Sam had been dozing himself and only belatedly noticed Gabriel waking up. A quick look at the clock told him the archangel had managed to get three hours of undisturbed sleep. Going back to watching Gabriel, he caught the unease in those eyes. Gabriel looked about like he had no idea where he was. No problem, Sam could help. “You’re at the bunker, remember? You’re staying with me.” Gabriel’s gaze fastened on him and the archangel calmed down. 

“Sam,” he whispered.

Sam nodded. “Yeah, it’s me. How are you doing? Do you need anything? Something to drink? Eat? Do you want to get up and stretch your legs? Just tell me.” It was only ten in the evening and maybe moving about would do Gabriel some good and tire him out a bit so he would be able to go back to sleep later. 

The frown that appeared on Gabriel’s brow told Sam that he had offered too many choices. By now, he should had realized that Gabriel had a hard time making his own decisions, which wasn’t surprising, considering everything the archangel had been through. “How about we move into the kitchen for a snack and something to drink? Once you get tired, we can head back here and you can get more sleep.” It might be wise to get Gabriel back onto his feet and moving about again as soon as possible. 

Gabriel however didn’t look convinced and seemed hesitant. “Or are you still too tired to move about?” However, the archangel seemed rather alert and Sam wanted to find out just how strong – or weak, Gabriel currently was. 

“I’ll fetch you some clothes. Some of Dean’s stuff might be okay. The first time he had to do laundry he did it all wrong and some of his stuff shrunk several seizes.” Sam added a wink and a smile, hoping to reassure the archangel. Making up his mind took Gabriel a moment, but then he nodded. Sam however wanted more. “Tell me you’re fine with it, Gabriel. You need to get used to talking again.”

Gabriel struggled with that request, but in the end, he carefully moistened his lips and whispered, “Fine with me.”

Sam counted that as another victory. “You wait here. I’ll be right back!” That turned out to be easier said than done. Somehow they had ended up quite entangled. Sam let go of Gabriel and the archangel reluctantly moved away, only to realize the comforter had wrapped itself around them too. Sam chuckled. “Care to help me out?” At first, Gabriel gave him a puzzled look, but when Sam pulled and pushed at the fabric, the archangel got the idea and helped. Once Sam managed to get to his feet, he stretched, savoring being able to move again. Not that he minded holding Gabriel, but still…

Quickly, Sam collected boxers, a long-sleeved shirt, and pajama bottoms from Dean’s room. Still slightly too large for Gabriel, but doable in Sam’s book. Upon his return to his room, he found the archangel sitting on the side of the bed and in the process of putting his feet on the floor. Sam frowned, realizing those legs carried a great deal of bruising too. Maybe he would talk Dean into going to hell to get some revenge. He’d love to be the one to destroy Asmodeus.

“These will fit, somewhat,” he added with a smile. Sam helped Gabriel into the boxers and pajama bottoms. Yeah, too large, but they’d manage. It was definitely an improvement if he recalled what Gabriel had been wearing when Ketch had brought him in. “Can you raise your arms for me?” Gabriel did as requested and Sam helped him into the shirt as well, all the while noticing the many cuts, burns, and bruises that weren’t healing well. 

A quick look at Gabriel’s back reminded him that the archangel had to be in pain, even though he wasn’t acting the part. Sam was extremely careful in sliding the material down the injured back. “Is that okay for you?”

Another nod, then followed by a soft, “Yes.” 

“Can you get to your feet, or do you need help?” Sam wanted to step back and encourage Gabriel to do things by himself. It wouldn’t do the archangel any good if he were treated like an invalid. 

“Not sure.” Gabriel stared at the floor, at his feet to be exact. 

Sam gave him the time he needed and didn’t pressure him. He remained patient, and when Gabriel did push himself to his feet, Sam remained close in case he needed some support. Gabriel was still rather unsteady on his feet and swayed. Judging it best to make sure no harm could befall the archangel, Sam placed his hand at the small of Gabriel’s back, avoiding putting any pressure on the welts. “How are you doing? Talk to me.” He needed Gabriel to start communicating his needs.

“Dizzy,” Gabriel managed and leaned against Sam for support. 

Sam waited another minute and watched Gabriel closely. That was to be expected. “Is it getting any better?” 

“A little bit,” Gabriel mumbled and remained motionless. 

This wasn’t going to work and Sam had to intervene. He settled for wrapping an arm around Gabriel’s waist instead, opting to stay clear of the injured back. “The kitchen is down the corridor. Can you make it that far?” Gabriel shrugged. “Then let’s find out.” 

Sam started walking, making sure he took small steps and paced himself so Gabriel could keep up with him. Maybe distracting the archangel would help. “Did you know that Dean once turned into a demon and chased me down this very corridor, intent on killing me?” That got Gabriel’s attention and those brown eyes fastened on him. “Trust me, fighting Dean Winchester is not on my to do list.”

Gabriel nodded again and a shadow of a smile settled on his lips. 

“Do you know your father found us and turned out to be Chuck? He had disguised himself as the writer of the Supernatural books. He stayed here for some time, driving Dean mad by singing in the shower. And then there was Lucifer, turning up the volume of his music so high that Dean almost went berserk. Yes, this bunker has seen it all.” Another look at Gabriel told Sam that the archangel was preoccupied just putting one foot in front of the other and wasn’t really listening, but he didn’t mind. Gabriel liked hearing him talk, so that was what he would do. 

“We convinced Chuck to talk to Lucifer and trust me, that didn’t go well. Your family is complicated, but then again, your dad is God and your brother the devil.” Now that did draw a chuckle from Gabriel, which was a first. Sam prided himself on having achieved it, which was no easy feat.

By the time they reached the kitchen Gabriel was dragging his feet and Sam carrying most of his weight. He guided Gabriel to one of the chairs and sat him down at the kitchen table. The archangel panted softly and had a hard time remaining upright, as he tended to slouch to the right. Sam quickly steadied him. 

“This won’t work,” he realized. He had overestimated Gabriel’s strength and didn’t want the archangel toppling over when he wasn’t looking. Maybe it would be best to take Gabriel to a study nearby, as it came with a comfortable couch. 

“Sorry,” Gabriel mumbled and gave him an apologetic look.

“Not your fault,” Sam corrected. “But mine and I’m going to fix it. I thought you were up to the trip, but you’re not. I’ll carry you instead. Do you mind?” 

“No,” Gabriel said, sighing softly. 

“Great.” Sam hoisted Gabriel up in his arms and held on tight. Gabriel closed his eyes and seemed to relax. A minute later, they arrived at the study. Taking great care not to cause the archangel more discomfort, Sam placed him on the couch and watched Gabriel move onto his side, once more facing the doorway. It continued to amaze him that Gabriel still noted details like that. But then again, his survival had probably depended on it in the past. “I’m going to get you something to drink. I’ll be back in a moment.” 

Sam marched back to the kitchen where he poured orange juice for them both. He knew he tended to push himself and others, but he should have known better than to push Gabriel after everything the archangel had been through. He vowed to be more careful in the future. He retrieved biscuits and chocolates from the pantry and returned to the study. 

To his surprise Gabriel was very much awake and alert, studying him the moment he entered the room. Sam placed their orange juice and snacks on the side table and retrieved a quilt, which he tucked around Gabriel’s form. He moved the side table closer to the couch so the archangel could easily reach it. Seeing Gabriel hungrily eye those biscuits, he said, “Go ahead.” 

Gabriel elbowed himself into a more upright position and selected a chocolate biscuit. After making himself comfortable again, he started nibbling, taking his time eating it. 

“I owe you an apology.” Sam started and noted Gabriel’s surprised expression. “I thought you were up to walking. I made a mistake in judgment.”

“Don’t worry about it,” Gabriel replied in a gentle tone. “Not your fault.”

Gabriel’s replies were getting longer, Sam noticed relieved. He had hoped Gabriel would continue to improve and feel more at ease in his presence and it seemed to be working. Sam realized this might be his chance to learn more about the elusive archangel. 

Instead of going for the questions Gabriel might expect, those about his brothers and father, Sam asked, “Do you like books?” Since they were in a study and surrounded books the question seemed logical. Sam had to wait for a reply, as Gabriel was trying to sip from his orange juice without making a mess. Although tremors still rocked his hands, the archangel managed. 

“Books?” Gabriel settled down, pulled the quilt close, and took in his surroundings. “I do,” he replied eventually. 

Sam fought the urge to roll back his eyes in expiration. Well, he should know better by now than to expect Gabriel to elaborate. “You’re probably more of a Casa Erotica guy,” he said jokingly and it earned him a smirk, which however quickly vanished. “Thanks for sending us that message back then. It helped.”

Gabriel’s eyes closed again, remained shut for a minute, but then opened again, giving him a guilty look. “It’s fine, Gabe. Go to sleep. I’ll stay and watch over you.” Sam hoped the couch was comfortable enough and once more reminded himself to go slow around the recovering archangel. Being given permission was probably what Gabriel had been waiting for, as his eyes closed and he sighed deeply, quickly falling asleep again.

…

Sam caught the first signs of an approaching nightmare about an hour after Gabriel had fallen asleep and acted at once. Last time, he had waited too long to intervene and he wasn’t going to make the same mistake twice. He exchanged his chair for the armrest of the couch and rested his hand – very carefully- on Gabriel’s shoulder, rubbing the skin beneath the fabric. 

“Gabe, you need to wake up.” Contrary to last time, Gabriel’s reaction was instant. His eyes opened, his head turned, and those large eyes bore deeply into his as if searching his very soul. “You had another nightmare, didn’t you?” Realizing holding his head that way had to be uncomfortable for the archangel, Sam opted to sit on the floor next to the couch instead.

Gabriel blinked repeatedly, pulled the quilt tightly against his chest, and nodded once. 

“Thought so. Wanna talk about?” Sam had offered before and back then Gabriel had declined. He didn’t expect the archangel to confide in him this time either, especially since Gabriel still had a hard time voicing his thoughts, but he made the offer anyway.

“You really want to know?” 

Sam’s heart missed a beat; was Gabriel actually going to confide in him? Did the archangel trust him to such an extent? “Yeah, I do. I promise to keep everything to myself. I won’t even tell Dean. You can trust me in this matter.” He was convinced that talking about it would help Gabriel heal. 

Gabriel’s expression told him that the archangel was still making up his mind and deciding what to tell him and what to keep to himself. Which was something he understood. Dean didn’t know about the full extent of his nightmares either. 

“Sam, I…” Gabriel wavered and broke off eye contact. “I don’t think I’m an angel anymore.”

That wasn’t what Sam had expected, but if Gabriel wanted to talk about it, they would. “Why do you think that?”

“As—“ Gabriel choked on the name and had to compose himself again. “He drained me… I don’t have any grace left.”

Ketch had told them what Asmodeus had done to Gabriel before leaving with Dean. Sam was grateful he knew what had happened; that way he might be able to council Gabriel. “I seriously doubt you can stop being an archangel, Gabriel. You probably need time to heal and recharge. Give it time. If necessary we’ll find ways to help you.” 

He was tempted to mention the grace sitting inside a vial, waiting to return to its rightful owner, but Sam had the feeling the time wasn’t right. However, that grace would return to Gabriel eventually. “But there’s more, isn’t there?” Hopefully Gabriel continued to open up to him. 

“He injected himself with it. With my grace. I was too weak to stop him.” Feeling deeply ashamed, Gabriel closed his eyes and started to turn his head.

“Don’t,” Sam whispered. “You’re not to blame for what happened.” This was important and he needed Gabriel to pay attention. “Look at me, Gabriel, please.” The added please seemed to work and those gold-colored eyes fastened on him once more. Sam gasped at seeing the pain in them. Gabriel might feel at a loss for words, but his eyes said it all – loud and clear. 

“Listen to me, Gabriel. None of what happened is your fault. You were a prisoner and unable to defend yourself. Asmodeus used that to his advantage. He’s the villain here, not you. You’re the victim. You are NOT to blame,” he said, stressing it. 

“You’re wrong,” Gabriel objected and raised his hand. His trembling fingers settled against Sam’s cheek and caressed the skin there. “I should have been able to stop him. He’s a demon, I’m an archangel, at least, I used to be.”

In spite of Gabriel being in emotional distress, Sam registered the fact that the archangel was getting better at voicing his feelings and was even touching him. “You still are. Give it time.” Gabriel tightly closed his eyes, but tears still escaped from them and slid down his face. Sam gave in to the need to gently wipe them away; the droplets briefly clung to his fingertips. 

The tears of an angel, no archangel, to be precious. He was about to comfort Gabriel and tell him not to worry when something unexpected happened. Instead of a transparent liquid, blue diamonds formed. He blinked in surprise and looked to Gabriel for an answer. “Did you know they’d do that?”

“What?” Gabriel hadn’t been paying attention, lost in his pain, and followed Sam’s gaze, eventually catching sight of the diamonds. “What are those?”

“Your tears,” Sam said awed. “You had no idea they’d do that?” Had Gabriel never cried before?

“No, I never…” Puzzled, Gabriel lifted one of them and studied it. “How? Why?”

“Well, it answers one question,” Sam mused and counted the diamonds. There were ten of them, eleven also counting the one Gabriel was currently holding. “No way you’re fully human. You’re still part archangel. Human tears don’t turn into diamonds. Trust me on that.” 

“I do know that.” Gabriel reverently placed the diamond back with the others. 

Sam recalled that Cas had cried in the past and nothing like that had happened back then. His tears had been just that, tears. “Maybe it’s only true for archangel tears?” But he hadn’t read about it in angelic lore either. 

“I doubt it,” Gabriel said and sighed, feeling as old as he actually was. “What are you going to do with them?”

Sam suddenly realized something had changed; Gabriel was changing. The archangel no longer seemed afraid and distant. He was actually actively participating in the conversation; asking questions, making suggestions. The realization made him smile. Gabriel arched an eyebrow at catching him smirk, but Sam merely continued to smile. 

“I’m keeping them, of course. And I’ll make sure they’re safe.” Sam got to his feet, retrieved a small velvet pouch, and slipped the diamonds inside. “Or do you want to hold onto them? They’re yours.” He secretly hoped Gabriel would let him keep them. He would hate to part from them, for they felt precious to him. Not because they were diamonds, but because they had been tears once.

“You keep them,” Gabriel said, “they seem important to you.”

“Thanks.” Sam slid them into a pocket. “I’ll be careful with them.”

“You amaze me,” escaped Gabriel. “After everything you’ve been through, you get emotional about something like that?”

Sam smiled. “You amaze me even more. After everything you’ve been through, you still care. Thank you for that.” Sam gave into his need and curled his fingers around Gabriel’s hand. “You could have chosen to lock yourself away and shut me out. Asmodeus’ torture could have left you vicious and wanting revenge, but instead you’re reaching out again. Asmodeus never broke you, don’t you believe that. He tried and failed. Look at you now!” 

Maybe his little speech had turned out more emotional than he had intended, but Sam didn’t care. Gabriel was on his way to recovery and at the moment, that was all that mattered.

TBC

 

Part 4

Sam kept a close eye on Gabriel, who had succumbed to exhaustion after the emotional storm had passed. The archangel was sleeping comfortably, hugging the quilt close to him. Returning to his books, Sam turned the page. He was growing tired, but wanted to read up on lore regarding Gabriel. Then, at midnight, he would move them to the bedroom for the night. 

After searching the library’s index, he had selected five books. Four texts put together by the Men of Letters and one obscure looking, ancient codex which looked most promising titled Saint Gabriel. When he had first come across it, he had almost instantly dismissed it, but after quickly looking it over, he had realized it did feature the archangel. He hadn’t been able to find an author to go with that particular piece and that fact intrigued him further. He would save it for last. 

He sipped from his water bottle, made sure Gabriel was still sound asleep, and opened the first book which concentrated on the four major archangels; Michael, huge dick, Lucifer, dick extraordinaire, and Uriel, dead dick. And there was Gabriel, of course, who hadn’t turned out to be not such a dick after all. 

Noise coming from the war room alerted him that there was something going on. Just to be on the safe side, he uncovered his gun and moved toward the doorway. He couldn’t be too careful now that he was responsible for Gabriel’s safety. Stepping into the war room, Sam felt relieved at seeing Cas walking up to him. “It’s only you.”

“Whom did you expect?” Castiel asked, frowning at seeing Sam aim a gun at him. 

“Asmodeus.” Sam slipped his revolver back into place and motioned for Cas to step away from the doorway. “I need to bring you up to date first. A lot has happened since we talked last.”

Sensing the urgency to Sam’s voice, Castiel turned toward the youngest Winchester. “Tell me what happened; why don’t you want me to step in there?” He pointed at the study. What was Sam hiding?

“Let’s sit down. This might take awhile.” Sam pulled up a chair and sat down, gesturing for Cas to do the same. 

“Is this really necessary? Heaven wants to shut down. I don’t have time for this.”

“Yes, you do, trust me.” Sam waited for a reluctant Cas to sit down opposite him. Once the angel was seated, Sam wondered how to tell him. “We had a visitor yesterday. Ketch showed up at the bunker.”

“Go on.” Castiel wondered what this was about. Sam seemed nervous.

“He wasn’t alone. Gabriel was with him.” Sam knew the direct approach usually worked best where Cas was concerned, and to be perfectly honest, he didn’t know how else to break the news.

“Gabriel?” Castiel thought he had misheard. “But Gabriel is dead. God said so.”

“God was mistaken?” Sam said and cringed at seeing the disbelief on Cas’ face. For one moment Cas seemed eager to object, but then the angel shook his head and remained quiet.

“Asmodeus had him. Turns out Gabriel was Asmodeus’ prisoner for years. Cas, he tortured Gabriel, drained him, and injected his grace into his own veins. That’s how Asmodeus got that powerful. We wondered about that; Lucifer’s weakest creation being that strong. Well, now we know how the bastard did it. He used Gabriel’s grace to power himself up.”

Castiel leaned back in his chair and stared at Sam in shock. He had a hard time believing what Sam was telling him, but didn’t doubt it was the truth. He could tell. “Asmodeus injected himself with Gabriel’s grace?”

“Yeah, for years. Cas, Gabriel, he’s… he’s not well. All those years of isolation and torture left marks on him. His grace, it’s not strong enough to actually heal him. His injuries must be painful, but he won’t let it show. Can you heal him, Cas?”

Castiel considered everything Sam had told him and hated disappointing his friend. “I’m sorry, but I doubt that it’s possible for an angel to heal an archangel. Archangels are a different category all together.”

“I was afraid of that,” Sam said dejectedly. “Cas, he’s in a bad way.”

“I need to see him.” Cas got to his feet and was about to head for the doorway when he found Sam blocking his way. “What are you doing?”

“Before you go in there, you need to understand. Cas, he’s hurting. He’s wounded and he no longer thinks he’s an archangel, he…” Sam gave Cas a thoughtful look. Maybe Cas could tell him what he wanted to know. “He cried earlier. His tears,” Sam said while reaching for the velvet pouch, “turned into these.” Several diamonds rolled into the palm of his hand, showing them to Cas.

“He shed tears,” Castiel said, trying to understand what Sam was telling him, “and they changed?” He frowned at seeing the diamonds in Sam’s hand. “What are those?” Castiel let his hand hover above Sam’s and his eyes widened. “What is this?”

“I hoped you could tell me.” Sam allowed Cas to take hold of a diamond. The moment Cas touched it, a low hum emanated from the gem, gently filling the room. “Cas?”

Cas cocked his head, trying to make sense of the reading he was getting. “This makes no sense. I’ve never heard of anything like this happening before. There’s no reason, no explanation, why Gabriel’s tears should transform into objects of celestial energy. What I’m getting… Sam, this is primordial. This is the material God used when he created archangels.”

Sam had expected to hear a lot of different things, but never this. “What are you saying? That these are primordial bombs?”

“No, they aren’t weapons! These stones consist of pure energy.” Castiel momentarily searched for the right words. “In a way, they contain what humans call his DNA. But no, that isn’t correct either. This is different. Maybe you can call it some sort of manifested angelic grace.” Castiel felt vexed now that he failed to explain himself properly.

“Don’t worry. I get what you’re trying to tell me. So they’re valuable?” 

“Extremely valuable. Maybe you should give them to me for safekeeping.”

“No!” Sam snatched the stone from Cas’ fingers and returned it to the pouch. “They’re staying with me. I’ll guard them.” If necessary with his life. “Cas, this happened for a reason.” If only he knew why and what to do with them!

“I don’t know why it happened.” Castiel briefly considered objecting to Sam’s decision. He would have preferred to guard them himself. “I need to see Gabriel. If I’m to update heaven I have to see for myself what kind of state he’s in.”

Sam nodded; understanding Cas’ motives. “He’s asleep. DO NOT wake him. He’s exhausted. Don’t tell him about heaven. He’s in no condition to deal with the situation upstairs.” If necessary, he would step in and make sure Cas didn’t push Gabriel. He had made that mistake earlier and wasn’t going to allow for it to happen again. 

“I’ll do as you ask,” Castiel promised. “Can we proceed into the study now?” He wondered if Sam wasn’t overreacting. Surely Gabriel’s condition wasn’t that bad?

…

“He looks bad. Why isn’t he healing?” Castiel cocked his head and took in the bruising and cuts that marred Gabriel’s face. Part of the archangel’s arm and hand showed from beneath the quilt, still carrying lacerations and burns. 

“I told you. Asmodeus drained his grace. Gabriel might have to do this the old-fashioned way; heal at the same pace we humans do.” Sam kept a close eye on Cas, not wanting the angel to accidentally upset Gabriel. “Are you sure you can’t heal him?” Cas moved forward and so did Sam, as he didn’t know what his friend was up to.

“I can try,” Castiel said, “but I doubt it.” Castiel rested his hand on top of Gabriel’s head and tapped into his own power. He closed his eyes in concentration and tried to share his energy with the archangel, giving of himself in an attempt to heal.

Sam hoped it would work, but when Cas opened his eyes and broke off the contact, he knew the angel had failed.

“I’ve done all I can, I’m sorry.”

“You tried, thanks.” Sam briefly rested a hand on Cas’ shoulder. Thankfully Gabriel had remained asleep during Cas’ healing attempt. “I’ll take care of him, I promise.”

Cas sighed deeply and then nodded once. “I know you will. I have to update heaven. I’ll be back when I can. I’ll strengthen the bunker’s warding before I go. I wouldn’t put it past Asmodeus to try to get inside.”

“Thanks, Cas. We’ll be here, waiting for you to get back.” Sam noticed the reverent look Cas gave Gabriel before turning around and leaving the study. Cas seemed happy to have Gabriel back too.

…

It was quickly approaching one in the morning and even Sam needed to get some sleep. He wouldn’t be much help if he was exhausted. He briefly wondered if he should wake up Gabriel, but then decided against it. Gabriel had slept through Cas’ visit and might sleep through being moved back to the bedroom as well. Sam slid his arms beneath Gabriel’s knees and shoulders and carefully pulled the archangel close to him. 

A few minutes later, Sam placed Gabriel back on his bed, covered him up, and made a quick stop in the bathroom. After cleaning himself up and exchanging his clothes for a T-shirt and sweat pants, he returned to the bed and laid down. He moved closer to Gabriel, who instantly gravitated toward him. The archangel turned onto his side, rested his head against a shoulder, and his hand came to rest on Sam’s abdomen. Their sleeping arrangement felt incredibly intimate, but Sam welcomed it nonetheless. He definitely cared deeply about Gabriel and happily provided whatever support the archangel needed from him.

Sam made himself as comfortable as possible with Gabriel resting in his arms and lost himself studying those facial features before finally succumbing to sleep.

…

Gabriel was falling. He was falling at a frightening pace and his wings weren’t catching him or slowing him down. Looking at them, he wasn’t surprised to see that there was hardly anything left of them. They used to be strong. They used to be golden and to glow radiantly in the sunlight and now they had been reduced to this.

Ruined, wrecked, shattered, destroyed…White bone dripping with crimson blood stuck out from where feathers should be covering the wings. Feathers which had once been smooth and flawless had withered and were letting go, falling to the earth. His fast descend frightened him, but he was helpless to stop it. 

He tried to brace himself for impact, but when he hit the earth, it still came unexpected. His already battered body impacted with the cold and un-relenting earth. His crash caused even more bones to break and his left wing was left completely shattered. The main bone which supported the wing broke with a nauseating thump. Blood flowed freely from the injury, drenching the soil beneath him and coloring it red. 

He had become familiar with pain during his imprisonment, but nothing could have prepared him for the agony he now found himself in. Gabriel tried to move, but even the tiniest movement caused immense waves of pain in his back, shoulders, and arms. His left wing was useless; it felt heavy and by now it was drenched in his blood. The feathers turned crimson and the weight pulled him down. His right wing fluttered helplessly, as it lacked the strength to support him. In the end, Gabriel gave in and simply stayed down. 

He was old; so very old. He had endured for eons. Had done as his father has asked of him. He had witnessed universes coming into existence, had seen Men take possession of earth and like his father, had seen their potential. Unlike his father, he had chosen to walk among them from the start, helping where he could. Where God had eventually deserted Men, he had stayed close, always hidden, always in disguise.

And look what it had gotten him into? His existence was a mess. He had miserably screwed up. His good intentions had backfired on him. But then again, didn’t he only have himself to blame? He had made his decisions. It was like he had once told Lucifer; no one made them do anything. Not with the kind of power they wielded.

But not anymore. He was powerless these days. Asmodeus had ruined him. The demon had ripped him apart, body and soul, and during his imprisonment he had yearned for death, but it had never come. He had survived like he always did. 

Gabriel tried to move again, but his damaged wings continued to drag him down. They immobilized him and kept him in place. Maybe he would die here. Maybe he would welcome it.

“Gabriel? We talked about this earlier. We don’t do nightmares around here. You need to wake up!” Sam tried his best to reach the distressed archangel, who was shaking himself to pieces in his arms. He shouldn’t have gone to sleep, but he had been tired himself and had quickly succumbed to fatigue. Now he had to fix his mistake and guide Gabriel back to him. 

“Gabe, come on. You need to wake up. Gabe, wake up!” The archangel was trashing in his arms and Sam wondered how to ground him. “Gabriel, listen to my voice. You need to calm down and wake up!” Growing desperate now Gabriel refused to wake up, Sam realized he had to resort to more drastic measures.  
“Gabriel? I don’t want to hurt you, but I need you to wake up!” He grabbed hold of Gabriel’s shoulders and shook the archangel, hoping to finally get through to him. “Gabe, stop scaring me and wake the fuck up!”

Gabriel suddenly opened his eyes and stared at Sam, who was giving him a frantic look. He needed a moment to realize where he was. He briefly closed his eyes, grateful beyond measure that the horrible nightmare had passed. Seeing his wings like that, shattered beyond repair, had nearly driven him insane.

“Finally! What the hell were you thinking? Don’t you do that to me, man!” Relief flooded Sam’s system and he loosened his hold on the archangel, who appeared to be in some sort of shock. It was time to get some answers. 

“At least you’re awake now. Gabriel, what the hell happened just now? That wasn’t just a nightmare. I’ve had nightmares and that was way too intense.” Sam decided against pressuring Gabriel just yet, but he continued to hold him, as a part of him worried the archangel might try to make a run for it. “Don’t even think about disappearing on me. You’re staying put and we’re gonna talk about that happened.”

“What do you think happened?” Gabriel asked cautiously. Sam’s expression was one of terror, but the other man couldn’t possibly know what had happened during his nightmare. And he wasn’t going to tell him!

“Give me a moment to recover,” Sam whispered in an exhausted tone. “I’ve never experienced anything like it before. How did you do that?” Sam’s mind still reeled from witnessing that horrid crash.

“How did I do what?” Gabriel forced himself to calm down and to convey that calmness on to Sam, who for some reason was the most distressed. He deeply regretted scaring Sam, but he hadn’t done it on purpose.

“Drag me into your dream with you.”

Gabriel froze. “What?” He must have misheard. Had Sam really said that he had dragged the younger man into his nightmare with him? But that was impossible. Sam couldn’t possible have witnessed his fall.

“Your wings… They were shattered and bleeding. You couldn’t get up and wanted to die,” Sam said, describing the scene he had witnessed. “I wanted to help so badly, but I couldn’t move. I was forced to watch from a distance.” Sam raised a hand and rested its palm against Gabriel’s still bruised face. “You were in so much pain and I couldn’t help.”

Gabriel had a hard time accepting the things Sam was telling him. Was it possible? Had Sam witnessed his fall? It must have happened, for how else could Sam know what his nightmare had been about? “I’m sorry,” he offered quickly. “I didn’t do it on purpose.” Hell, he hadn’t known such a thing was even possible! 

Sam’s fingers moved on to his hair, smoothing it away from his face and Gabriel closed his eyes. He felt incredibly ashamed of what had just happened, but in the pit of his stomach, a different emotion burned; anger. He was so damn angry with Asmodeus for doing this to him. Those two emotions fought for the upper hand and he had no idea which one would prevail. 

“I know you didn’t and you don’t need to apologize.” Sam had managed to compose himself again and drew in a deep breath. It helped that Gabriel was willing to discuss the matter. “Was that the first time you dreamed about your wings?”

Bile rose from the depth of his stomach and he tried to fight down the emotion causing it. But he was angry, no, make that downright furious! Asmodeus was going to pay for destroying his wings. One way or another, Asmodeus was going down.

“Gabriel? Are you still here with me or back there?” Sam failed to label the expression in those golden eyes, which seemed to burn right through him. It wasn’t apathy staring back at him, he was sure about that. Despair didn’t seem right either. Then it hit him; it was fury. Gabriel was mad as hell – finally. He had hoped something like that would happen.

Was Sam really going to discuss that now he was in such an emotional uproar? When he couldn’t vouch for his reactions? It had been ages since he had felt like this. But knowing the Winchester the way he did, Gabriel reckoned Sam would make him talk about it. So he tried to get a grip on his anger. He recalled Sam’s question and said, “Yes, this was the first time. I didn’t know what was happening either. I didn’t know it was a nightmare,” he tried to explain, and in a way, to apologize. “I didn’t know I pulled you down there with me.” He still had no idea how that could have happened.

“I watched you fall,” Sam explained in a hushed voice. “I stood at a distance and couldn’t help. You fell from the sky and crashed hard. The earth shook and I wanted to run toward you so I could help, but something kept me in place and prevented me from moving. I had to watch you struggle.” Sam wondered what discussing this would do to the archangel who seemed at war with himself. The rage still simmered beneath the surface, burdened down by shame.

“Sorry,” Gabriel offered again, his frustration mounting, as he hadn’t wanted Sam to witness that. “I didn’t know I was dragging you down with me and hurting you.” Sam’s expression changed and became alert, more like Sam usually looked; observant and eager to collect information. He was relieved to see the emotional pain gone and Sam’s rational side appear again. It distracted him and momentarily drew him away from his rage.

“I believe you, so don’t feel guilty about it.” 

Now that his anger no longer blinded him, Gabriel noticed Sam’s puzzled expression, which worried him. It told him that more questions would follow and he wasn’t sure he was up to answering them.

“Do angels actually have wings?” Sam asked, eager to distract Gabriel and to gather valuable information at the same time. “All I ever see are shadows. But in your nightmare yours were real, solid. Do they really consist of feathers and bone? Or was that just an illusion? A manifestation of your thoughts?” He struggled to understand the concept they were discussing. Maybe he was a bit out of his league. 

The scholar was back, much to Gabriel’s relief. Although he didn’t like the questions asked, it was good to see Sam return to his normal ways. The problem was, he didn’t know how to answer them. “Would you like for me to have wings?” he asked eventually, postponing answering Sam.

Sam didn’t have to think about it and his answer came straight from the heart. “I do.” Then he remembered, “In your nightmare, your wings were golden. Is that true for all angel wings or do wings have different colors? And if so, why?” He had grown up believing wings to be white, and any lore he had found, had confirmed that theory. But now he had a real authority who could answer those questions firsthand. 

Damn, his strategy had backfired on him; now Sam was asking him even more questions. He had wanted to distract Sam instead, but now he had maneuvered himself into a corner. He wouldn’t lie to Sam, nor would he pretend ignorance. Sam Winchester deserved better than that. “The color differ.”

“In what way? Maybe I should be writing this down.” Sam cursed the fact that he didn’t keep a notebook on the nightstand and his laptop was in the war room. Maybe he should get up and get it?

Seeing Sam stress over something so trivial, Gabriel couldn’t help but smile; the many different aspects of Sam Winchester! “I don’t mind repeating it later.” 

That was good enough for Sam, who abandoned his quest for writing materials and settled back down. Eager to learn more, he said, “That works for me. Now stop stalling and tell me. What color are Cas’ wings?” He might need blackmail material one day.

Gabriel didn’t really understand Sam’s newest obsession, but complied. “Brown.” Seeing Sam giving him eager looks, he found he couldn’t deny the other man and continued. “Michael’s are silver. Uriel’s were crimson red and Lucifer’s wings were white in the beginning, unblemished and pure. They were magnificent to behold, truly befitting someone as the Morningstar.” Gabriel quickly sobered though. “I don’t know what they look like these days.”

“The color changes?” Sam asked eagerly. He had never given the matter much thought, but then again, there was so little information to theorize about!

“Sometimes…” Gabriel wondered how much to tell Sam as some of it was rather personal. “In a way they reflect our most inner feelings. I wouldn’t be surprised to find that Lucifer’s have turned black.” As a matter of fact, he was quite certain they had turned pitch black, maybe even scorched at the ends. 

“And yours were shattered. I could tell they were golden beneath all that blood.” Seeing those once beautiful wings all ruined had been an unsettling sight and Sam shivered. 

“I fell, Sam. I let Asmodeus grow strong. I should have stopped him.” That realization woke his anger again. Asmodeus was to blame for his fall. 

“You couldn’t stop him, remember? You have to forgive yourself for that. I know it’s hard and it seems impossible. I’ve struggled with it myself. I set Lucifer free back in the days. Dean and I brought on the Apocalypse and we’re responsible for a lot of bad things. I accepted that and forgiving myself for some of the things I did remains a daily struggle, but I’m working on it. You need to do the same thing, Gabriel.” 

Sam made it sound so easy, but Gabriel knew damn well Sam’s reasoning didn’t apply to him. Where Sam and Dean had been manipulated right from the start, he had just been too weak to fight Asmodeus. “Sam, you never had a choice. Dean and you being Lucifer’s and Michael’s vessels was decided long before you were even born.” 

“That doesn’t matter. What matters is what you do. How you deal with a situation like that. Gabe, you didn’t let Asmodeus drain you. He took advantage when you were down!” Gabriel’s denial frustrated the hell out of him. “What could you have possible done? Do I need to remind you of the state you were in when Ketch brought you in?”

“No, you don’t!” Gabriel glared at Sam. “I know what that bastard did to me! I’ll never forget how he made me crawl, lick his boots, and…” Suddenly, it all came to a boil. He knew he should contain his rage, but it needed out. “He tried to break me! He nearly destroyed me and he must pay for that!”

Sam sucked in his breath, suddenly on full alert at seeing Gabriel’s normally so kind brown eyes change into a glowing blue fire. There it was; that primordial energy Cas had referred to. It was staring right back at him and it burned with a frightening intensity. It put any worry Sam might have had about Gabriel having any archangel grace left to rest. There was power there and it resonated all around the archangel, and in that moment Sam believed those old stories about avenging angels smiting cities and bringing vengeance to right terrible wrongs. 

“Gabriel,” he whispered, fully aware that he was dealing with an archangel here. “I understand your rage, I really do, but you might want to rein it in a bit. I don’t want you to smite the bunker just because my questions annoyed you.”

The tremors rocking Sam’s voice, the hesitant expression in those green eyes, and the way the younger man was moving away from him, alerted Gabriel that something was wrong. He blinked, shook his head, and re-established eye contact. “Sam?” Why was Sam giving him that look?

“You look like you’re about to smite me.” Sam tried to go for a teasing tone, but failed miserably. He knew what Lucifer was capable of and Gabriel WAS an archangel; he should keep that in mind. 

It took Gabriel a moment to realize what had happened. He hadn’t thought himself still capable of rising to that level of power and he quickly contained his rage. He broke off eye contact, feeling rather guilty for losing control. Sam’s look told him that he had made the younger man uncomfortable. “I’m sorry. To be honest; I didn’t think I still had it in me.” He peeked at Sam and felt relieved at seeing a calm and controlled expression on the other man’s face. “I’m very sorry.” He hoped he hadn’t lost Sam’s trust.

“Don’t get me wrong,” Sam said, feeling more confident now that Gabriel looked more approachable. “I welcome your rage. I’ve been hoping and waiting for it to surface. It just took me aback when it appeared and I wasn’t expecting it.”

“You were hoping for me to lose it?” Gabriel shook his head in bewilderment.

“Yes, you have every right to be angry. You should be eager to smite Asmodeus, but to have that rage directed at me, that was quite something. You must understand; I’ve seen Lucifer release his power and I know what he’s capable of. You’re both archangels, but you never acted the part before – until just now that is.”

Now that things had returned to normal between them, Gabriel relaxed. “I haven’t been myself for a long time, Sam. I might have lost myself in becoming the trickster, so I understand I worried you just now. I’ll work on it, I promise.” He had been a warrior once. In heaven he had fought alongside Michael and Raphael. He had commanded part of the heavenly forces. Maybe it was time to remember and re-embrace that part of himself.

TBC

Part 5 

Sam with his nose buried in books was quickly becoming a familiar sight, Gabriel mused. They were having breakfast in the kitchen and Sam had insisted on collecting his books first. While sipping the hot chocolate Sam had made him, he wondered what the books were about. 

Sam gulped down his coffee and then coughed, since he had been greedy and the brew was still too hot. He sensed Gabriel’s gaze on him and grinned, hoping the archangel’s curiosity would get the better of him. The speed at which Gabriel was recovering emotionally was something Sam welcomed. The only thing that worried him was that Gabriel’s physical wounds weren’t healing as well. Those welts on his back kept worrying Sam. They refused to close properly, ever after re-applying that ointment earlier.

Sam had gone all the way and made way too much food, as far as Gabriel was concerned. He didn’t care for Sam’s porridge and had also declined the bacon and eggs. However, he was digging into a cinnamon bun with relish. Giving up on being patient, he asked, “What are those books about?” His damn curiosity had gotten the better of him after all. His fingers were sticky and he licked the sugar off his fingertips. Sam happened to look up at that very moment and those green eyes widened momentarily before quickly looking at his book again. Gabriel frowned and wondered what had upset Sam.

Sam kept his gaze carefully trained on the book in front of him. Why had seeing Gabriel lick his fingers gone straight to his cock? He was hard and his erection rubbed uncomfortably against his jeans. He shifted slightly, trying to alleviate his discomfort and hoped Gabriel hadn’t noticed. He had no idea why that had happened. Maybe his hormones were acting up. After all, it had been quite some time since he had gotten laid.

“Sam?” Gabriel arched an eyebrow, wondering what had just passed between them. He was sure something had, but what?

Sam sipped more coffee, stalling, and hoping his voice wouldn’t betray him. “Angelic lore,” he managed, and congratulated him on sounding calm. His problem refused to go away though. Fuck, this wasn’t happening. Gabriel was turning him on? Damn, if that was the case, he was in trouble!

Gabriel realized he should have known. “Reading up on me?” he couldn’t help but ask. He felt different this morning. Last night had changed him. The realization that Asmodeus hadn’t drained him completely, and that he might have more grace left than he had feared, made him more confident. He recalled a time when he had teased the Winchesters and Sam in particular. He felt like exploring that part of his personality again. In a way, he was reconstructing himself, trying to put the best parts of him together again.

Sam welcomed the distraction. Maybe if he focused on lore, this unexpected attraction would go away. His head still reeled though. Why hadn’t he realized this before? Still avoiding eye contact, Sam said, “As a matter of fact, yes. I never researched lore regarding you before. I thought you had died, so there never was a necessity to do so.”

“Yeah, sorry about that.” He found himself apologizing a lot, but then again, he had made a fair number of mistakes and he should own up to them. “It seemed the best thing to do at the time. I was wrong.” 

“Don’t worry about it,” Sam said and meant it. The more time he spent with Gabriel, he realized the archangel’s life hadn’t been easy either. “However, I do have questions.”

Gabriel cocked his head. He could answer some, but wasn’t going to spill it all. Much depended on the nature of those questions. “What do you want to know, Sammy?” Gabriel moistened his lips, which still felt tender, as they hadn’t healed yet.

“That trumpet of yours…” Fuck, Sam had happened to glance up at exactly the moment Gabriel had licked his lips and his groin stirred again. His erection had just started to fade! This couldn’t be happening! He couldn’t be attracted to Gabriel, fuck no!

“Overrated, quite useless. Also, I lost it,” Gabriel quipped with some of his old zest. He busied himself drinking the last bit of his hot chocolate. “Decoration mostly,” he added, upon seeing Sam’s desperate expression. “Or maybe Balthazar stole it. I kinda lost track of the damn thing. Sorry?” he added, wondering why Sam seemed upset about it. “Maybe it can be recovered?” If Sam wanted that damn trumpet so badly, he might go looking for it, should he regain his full powers one day.

“All right,” Sam said, forcing himself to act in a normal way, but he caught the slight tremor in his own voice. He should be writing this down, but had a hard time concentrating. If things continued in this way, he would have to excuse himself and find a bathroom so he could take care of the matter. 

Sam told himself to focus. What else did he want to know? “And what about the archangel blade? There’s nothing about it in these books.” This time, he kept his gaze down and made sure he didn’t accidentally look at the archangel.

Gabriel wondered what was going on with Sam. It felt like the youngest Winchester was avoiding looking at him. Also, Sam seemed to have frozen in place. The way he was holding that pen… Gabriel wouldn’t be surprised to see Sam snap it in two. Had he done something wrong? But he couldn’t think of anything. Maybe it was best to just answer the question. “Would you make such information public? Would you want your enemies to know that such a powerful weapon existed?” 

“Probably not,” Sam agreed, willing himself to concentrate on the information instead of his bodily reactions to Gabriel’s presence. “But you didn’t really answer the question.”

Sam really wanted to know, Gabriel realized. Considering everything Sam had done for him so far, he reckoned he could do this for the younger man. Remembering those days brought back painful memories though. His family had been torn apart and he had felt lost ever since. “We didn’t create the blades until Lucifer rebelled. We needed a weapon that could take him out. He had become a dangerous threat. He wanted to destroy heaven and the angels along with it.” Lucifer had tried to kill him too –repeatedly. 

“How many archangel blades are there?” Sam noticed the melancholy expression that had appeared in Gabriel’s eyes. Until that moment, he hadn’t realized that discussing this might cause the archangel pain. Maybe he should stop asking these questions, for the last thing he wanted was for Gabriel to be in pain.

Sam’s thirst for knowledge hadn’t fully registered with him before and was making him reveal secrets which should remain just that – secrets and therefore hidden. But they were about to come into the open now. “Two. There are two archangel blades.”

“And…? Come on, Gabe! This is like pulling teeth! It’s not fair!” Sam wondered why Gabriel was stalling. “Will it help if I promise to keep this to myself? I won’t write it down or share it. Any secrets you might tell me will stay within these four walls. I promise.” And he didn’t make promises lightly. Hopefully Gabriel knew that.

Hearing that made things easier. Gabriel had worried about certain information falling into the wrong hands. “Sam, you must understand. Those weren’t happy times and your questions bring back painful memories.” Seeing Sam was about to apologize, he quickly continued. “Michael and I created them. It was a joint venture, so to speak. He supplied the power needed to create them, I channeled it and formed the actual blades.” It was the only time Michael and he had willingly worked together – no matter how briefly. They had stood side by side and created the archangel blades in an attempt to subdue Lucifer.

“You did?” Sam frowned, surprised to hear that. He had never figured Gabriel would actually get involved in fighting or forging weapons. It seemed so very unlike the archangel he had gotten to know. He opened another book and flipped the pages. “According to this lore, you’re supposed to be the least aggressive one out of the four archangels. It says you’re a messenger, some call you an angel of hope. How does forging lethal archangel blades fit in?” This sounded very much out of character for Gabriel.

Maybe it was time to enlighten Sam about him. Gabriel cocked his head, recognizing one of the books Sam was using. He pulled it toward him and turned the pages until he found what he was looking for. He pushed the book toward Sam and said, “What does it say here?”

Sam decided to read the indicated passage aloud, “Gabriel is the archangel referred to as the Angel of the Lord. Also the Prince of Justice and chief of the Kerubim, Angel of Mercy, Angel of Vengeance, Angel of Death and Angel of Revelation.” Sam needed a moment to fully digest that. “Quite a mouthful if you ask me. Almost sounds like you’re important,” he teased, trying to mask his growing unease. Had he misjudged Gabriel? “You’re the Prince of Justice?”

Gabriel chuckled. “Apparently. A lot of it is crap, Sam, and you shouldn’t believe everything you read, but there’s some truth to the matter. I used to have a lot responsibilities in the old days.“ Gabriel slowly reached across the table and carefully wrapped his finders around Sam’s, always intent on giving the young man a chance to pull away or avoid the contact. Sam’s hand however now rested comfortably within his. “Sam, I know I’m not much to look at,” he started and raised a hand to stop Sam from objecting, “I’m referring to the way I’m now, my vessel. But in heaven I used to be a warrior. All angels are.”

“I remember Cas telling us that when we first met. That we shouldn’t think of him as a guardian angel, or something like that, but as a warrior of God.” And when it came to Cas, that was easy to believe. Cas had that warrior mentality, but Gabriel… But then he remembered the archangel’s fury earlier that morning and the power that had fueled that fury. Okay, maybe he could believe it.

“Exactly,” Gabriel felt relieved that Sam understood. “When Lucifer rebelled and gathered his army, we had to fight him. I don’t excel at it, and Michael made sure I knew that, but I can hold my own if necessary, even against Lucifer.”

“So you’re a warrior as well, is that what you’re trying to tell me?” In a way, that made sense, Sam realized. He could easily picture Cas, Raphael, Zachariah, Uriel and the countless other angels they had fought over the years go in for the kill. Why was it so hard to believe then that Gabriel, an archangel, lacked that instinct?

“I used to,” Gabriel whispered, wondering if he would still be able to hold his own these days. What would he do, he wondered, if he was called upon to fight once more? Suddenly his instincts warned him that another angel was close. He had been caught unaware – again. “Castiel?”

“What about Cas?”Sam was still trying to accept he might have been wrong about Gabriel and now he was bringing up Cas?

“He’s here.” Gabriel looked over at the doorway, where Castiel stood, watching them. 

“Cas, you’re back.” Sam hoped Cas remembered his request not to tell Gabriel about the situation in heaven. 

“Gabriel.” Castiel moved forward and walked toward the archangel, who still looked bruised. But his gaze had cleared and his energy was resonating at a higher level than before; Gabriel was improving.

“Castiel,” Gabriel said in an equally formal manner as he wasn’t sure where he stood with his brother. Castiel had his own, very strict view of good and wrong and he had no idea what his brother’s thoughts were on having faked his death in the past. He wouldn’t put it past Castiel to hold a grudge over it. Therefore he let Castiel make the first move.

“It’s good to see you again, brother! I thought you dead.” Castiel leaned in closer and wrapped his arms around Gabriel, holding him close. “I’m glad you’re back.”

Stunned, Gabriel returned the embrace, but at the same time he gave Sam a puzzled look. What was happening? The Castiel he had known would never show his affection in such a way.

“That’s Dean’s influence coming through,” Sam clarified for the bewildered looking archangel. “These days, Cas is really big on hugs.”

Gabriel found himself savoring the hug, he hadn’t thought he would. “It’s good to be back, brother,” he offered eventually when Castiel released him and took a step back to look at him. “Why don’t you sit down? We still have some coffee left. The cinnamon buns are really good. You should try one.” He was trying hard to act like nothing out of the ordinary had occurred, but Castiel had to know about Asmodeus keeping him prisoner for years. Maybe if he addressed it, the unease would go away, but he couldn’t bring himself to bring it up. 

“As you’re well aware, I don’t need to eat or drink. Why aren’t you healing, Gabriel?”

Gabriel rolled back his eyes. And he had thought Castiel had changed!

Sam chuckled softly. “Cas, we talked about this the last time.”

“Yes, we did. Do you still have those diamonds? You didn’t lose them, did you?” Castiel’s eyes narrowed, picking up on some underlying emotion which nature escaped him. 

“They’re fine with me; safe and sound in my pocket,” Sam assured him. “Did you find out anything about them? Did any of the other angels know something?”

“No, I asked, and they assured me they never heard of anything like it before. They were baffled too. Why are you eating that?”

Gabriel happily munched on his chocolate biscuit and promptly offered Castiel one. “Maybe you would like to find out, brother?”

Castiel’s facial features contorted slightly. “I have unpleasant memories when it comes down to consuming food and liquids.”

“You do?” Gabriel had no idea what Castiel was referring to. “Care to explain?”

Sam knew what this probably was about. “Is this about the time we hunted Hunger?”

Cas nodded and then looked at Gabriel. “Yes, I drank a whole liquor store once, and Jimmy, my vessel, developed a craving for meat. I lost count of the hamburgers I ate that day.”

“The secret, my friend, is moderation.” Gabriel finished his hot chocolate and had a hard time believing Castiel had accepted him back into the family. He had expected Castiel to lecture him, or even worse, ignore him. 

“Dean isn’t back yet,” Sam updated Cas while he continued to study the book in front of him. “I expect him to return in a couple of hours though.”

“He’d better return on time,” Castiel said. “I greatly dislike the fact that he left without me. There’s no way of telling what problems he might run into in that alternate reality.”

Gabriel listened intently, hoping to learn more about their current situation. He had caught bits and pieces of their conversation when they had opened up that rift, but he hadn’t been coherent at that time. Suddenly, he felt Sam’s gaze on him and he realized the young man was up to something.

“Cas, when Lucifer rebelled, were you there too?” Now that Cas was here and not in a rush, he might find out more. Sam didn’t doubt that Gabriel had told him the truth, but a little confirmation might be nice. 

“I was. You know that. Didn’t I tell you about that?”

“You might have,” Sam said, ignoring Cas’ remark. “Gabriel told me he fought Lucifer too,” he hinted, hoping Cas would catch his drift.

“Yes, he did. Michael, Raphael and Gabriel commanded the heavenly forces. They fought in the frontline. We suffered a large number of casualties when Lucifer waged war upon heaven. Without them, Lucifer would have defeated us.”

Gabriel finally caught on. Sam had the audacity to check his story! He was impressed. “Do you believe me now?”

“Why wouldn’t Sam believe you?” Castiel asked in a matter of fact tone. “Archangels were created for one purpose only; to secure heaven’s safety.”

“I do believe you. I just wanted to make sure.” Damn, it was good to see Gabriel smile again, even if those bruises reminded Sam of the ordeal the archangel had been through.

Castiel looked at Sam, once more picking up on that odd sensation. Well, Dean would know what to do once he got back. “I’ll be in Dean’s room,” he announced as he got to his feet. “And I won’t be watching porn,” he added for good measure.

Gabriel waited for Castiel to leave the room before he chuckled. “Maybe I should have suggested Casa Erotica to him, because, believe me, he’s going to watch porn, no matter what he says.”

Sam didn’t take the bait, still vividly recalling the way he had reacted to Gabriel earlier. He still had to find out what that had been about. “Gabe, Cas raised a valid question. You’re doing better, but your vessel isn’t healing.”

“Maybe I’m too low on grace,” Gabriel offered. “I don’t know, Sam. Trust me, I want to heal. I’ve been in pain long enough. I can do without it.” He had perfected hiding any discomfort he was in, so Sam wouldn’t notice, but something as simple as resting his back against the comfort of the chair was something he still avoided because of the pain. 

“Maybe…” Sam nodded and made his decision. “Wait here. I’ll be right back.”

Gabriel watched Sam practically jump to his feet and run out of the room. Finding himself alone all of a sudden made him feel ill at ease. He didn’t like it one bit, but he could hardly run after Sam. He just had to keep in mind that he was safe. Sam was at the bunker and so was Castiel. Even if Asmodeus decided to attack right now, he would be safe.

He knew he had to face the demon sooner or later. He couldn’t continue to run. He had run his entire life, first from his family and now from Asmodeus. Even though he had led part of the heavenly host and thus commanded his own battalions against Lucifer’s army, these days he felt very much like a coward. 

Sam noticed the relief in Gabriel’s eyes upon stepping back into the kitchen and berated himself for leaving that unexpectedly. He hadn’t considered the effect his sudden absence might have on Gabriel. The archangel was doing so well that Sam tended to forgot that there was still a lot of hidden trauma to deal with. He considered apologizing for taking off like that, but then decided to pretend he hadn’t noticed Gabriel’s unease as he didn’t want to embarrass him. 

Sam sat down and placed the vial containing Gabriel’s grace on the kitchen table. “We didn’t use all of your grace when we opened that portal. We made sure there was some left. Not much, I know, but maybe it’ll help you recover.” The look on Gabriel’s face worried him though. He’d expected to see relief, not the stark horror which now stared back at him. “Gabe?” Sam quickly reached out and took the archangel’s hand, which felt cold and clammy in his. “It’s yours.” What the hell was wrong?

Feeling entranced, Gabriel stared at the vial in shock and suddenly he was back at Asmodeus’ layer. The current King of Hell had flung him onto the floor and the sharp edges of the stone staircase leading up to Hell’s throne pressed into his already bleeding back. He didn’t want to remember this… He didn’t want for this to happen, but it did. Asmodeus jerked him upright and slammed the needle into his jugular vein. 

Gabriel screamed in pain and Sam jumped up from his chair and made his way over the archangel, whose body kept convulsing. “Gabe, what’s happening?” He cradled Gabriel against him and carefully laid him down on the floor, so he couldn’t fall from the chair. “Cas! Cas, get in here!” Hopefully the angel had his ears on and was listening. 

His grace being extracted that way hurt. The needle dug deeply into his vein, at times causing momentary paralysis. During such moments he didn’t just feel helpless, he was utterly helpless. Asmodeus would pull out the needle in a rush, causing another wave of pain. Sometimes the demon forced him to watch as he injected himself with the grace. At others, the Prince of Hell discarded him like thrash, throwing him across the room, where he huddled, trying to gather the fractured pieces of his mind.

“What’s happening? Are we under attack?” Castiel had heard Sam’s scream for help and hadn’t hesitated. Armed with his angel blade, he ran into the kitchen and quickly searched the room for the enemy. He was confused when he found none. He’d expected Asmodeus to make his move, but instead Gabriel was huddled on the floor, trying to get away from Sam and whimpering in pain. “Sam, what’s going on?” He placed his angel blade on the kitchen table and joined Sam on the floor, kneeling next to Gabriel. 

“I don’t know for sure,” Sam whispered, since Gabriel flinched each time he spoke too loudly. “I collected his remaining grace and offered it to him. He simply stared at it and suddenly lost it.” Sam tried to get closer to Gabriel, who was once more rocking himself. “Maybe seeing the vial caused a flash-back,” Sam said, thinking out loud. “It might have triggered his memory. He was making progress and I forgot to do this slowly. This is my fault, damn it.”

“We can find out what happened later. Gabriel needs our help now.” Castiel knew he couldn’t do much, but he might be able jolt Gabriel’s mind into thinking straight again and to draw him from his dark place. “Maybe I can help. I can’t heal him, but I may be able to guide him back.”

“What are you waiting for?” Anxiously, Sam gathered Gabriel’s hand in his and rubbed those cold fingers. “Gabriel, you can do this. I have faith in you.”

Castiel placed his hands on either side of Gabriel’s head and gently turned the archangel’s face toward him. He focused his powers and tried to reach Gabriel, guiding him back. Castiel found himself in familiar surroundings. He had been in Crowley’s former throne room and recognized the place. Gabriel, covered in cuts which bled profusely, cowered on the floor. “Gabriel, this isn’t real. Your mind is playing tricks on you. I need you to focus and to remember where you are, which is with Sam and me at the bunker. Gabriel, you need to wake up.”

Sam had listened closely and hoped Cas managed to reach Gabriel. His heart thundered like mad, waiting for Gabriel to recover from the flash-back… or not.

“Castiel?” Castiel’s blue eyes were the first thing to register with Gabriel. He had a hard time following Castiel home, but he persevered and in the end, he found himself sitting on the kitchen floor under close scrutiny from both his brother as well as Sam. His stomach ached up and he failed to keep down breakfast. Throwing up, he emptied his stomach and a film of cold sweat formed all over his body. 

“Sam.” Castiel wasn’t sure what to do and looked to Sam for guidance. He had done his part; Gabriel was with them once more.

“I’ve got this,” Sam quickly assured Cas, who released Gabriel from his hold and then got to his feet to make way for him. Sam kneeled next to Gabriel and guided the archangel’s head toward him, needing to make eye contact. “This isn’t good,” he mumbled, hating the fact that his rashness had caused this setback. He knew better than to ask Cas to try again. The angel would have done more if he had been able to. “He needs to lie down. Grab that vial. We can’t have it lying about.”

Cas slid it into a pocket. After vanishing the remains of Gabriel’s breakfast, he collected his angel blade and followed them to the bedroom, hoping the archangel would recover.

TBC

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Part 6

Sam covered Gabriel with the comforter and remained seated on the side of the bed, carefully monitoring the archangel. Gabriel’s state worried him; he was once more staring blindly at the wall and shutting them out. It was a huge setback, for which Sam blamed himself. “Maybe he just needs time.”

“Maybe he needs his grace returned to him,” Cas suggested, standing guard near the doorway and ready to fight off possible intruders. He shouldn’t have retreated to Dean’s room earlier. He should have stayed at his brother’s side instead.

“We can’t force it on him,” Sam said, thoughtfully. “We need to take this slowly.”

“How slowly? Heaven is running out of time. I talked to them. They’re willing to keep heaven open a little longer and want Gabriel to return to heaven to take charge. They need a leader and Gabriel is an archangel. He needs to take control of the situation.”

“Look at him, Cas. Gabriel isn’t up to that.” Sam sighed, deeply troubled. Why couldn’t he turn back time and prevent this from happening?

“Sam? Cas?”

“Dean’s back. I’ll fetch him!” Cas turned on his heels and disappeared down the corridor.

“Dean, great timing, man.” Sam cringed. He wasn’t sure how Dean was going to take the news that Gabriel hadn’t recovered yet.

“Sammy? What’s going on? Cas doesn’t really make sense, so I’m asking you.” Dean came to an abrupt halt. He hadn’t expected to find Gabriel in bed, and although the archangel looked improved, Dean could tell he was still severely traumatized. “Sam? Talk to me.”

Sam quickly got to his feet and pulled Dean into the corridor. “Cas, watch Gabriel, will you?” Cas nodded and resumed guarding the archangel. Sam closed the door behind him and pulled Dean further down the corridor as he didn’t want Gabriel to overhear their conversation. “Dean, where are mum and Jack? What happened to Ketch?”

Dean quickly updated his brother. “They’re staying. We need to find a way to take out Michael, get them home, and close the rift behind us once we’re back. Sam, Gabriel, what’s going on?”

Sam needed a moment to deal with the fact that their mother and Jack were still out there. Then he forced himself to answer Dean’s question. “You know what he was like when Ketch brought him here. He’s traumatized, Dean. You know what it’s like. He needs time to recover from what Asmodeus did to him.” He hoped Dean understood, and to some degree, cared. 

Dean did understand, he just wished they had the luxury to allow Gabriel the time he needed. “We’ll need his grace once we need to go back there.”

“No,” Sam said, determinedly shaking his head. “That’s not going to happen.”

“Sam!” Dean glared at his younger brother, hoping to get his point across. “Without his grace, mum and Jack are trapped back there. There’s still some left in the vial Ketch brought with him. We can use that!”

“No, Sam repeated in a firm tone. “It belongs to Gabriel. We’re not going to stoop to Asmodeus’ level again. We should have never used Gabriel’s grace in the first place. Asmodeus drained him and injected him with his grace. If we use Gabriel’s grace for our own purpose, we’re doing the same thing. Without Gabriel’s consent it’s a violation and we can’t go there again, Dean. We can’t, and this isn’t up for discussion!”

Dean knew that tone only too well. There was no reasoning with Sam if his brother got into that state. “What do you suggest we do then? Gabriel’s the only archangel around, in case you hadn’t noticed!” 

Dean giving in that quickly surprised Sam. He had expected his brother to put up a real fight. He was tempted to find out why Dean was letting it go, but there were more pressing matters. “Lucifer’s grace should work,” he pointed out, offering an alternative. He knew he had hit jackpot when Dean nodded. “Rowena should be able to track him down. He’s powered down at the moment and you should be able to capture him.”

“You’re right, Sammy. Good thinking!” Yes, Lucifer’s grace would work; Sam was right about that. And honestly? He would never have stooped to Asmodeus’ level and force Gabriel to hand over his grace. The grace in the vial he might have used, since Gabriel wouldn’t have to suffer for it, but Sam was right. He knew what it was like to be imprisoned, tortured, and violated like that and he wasn’t going to do that to Gabriel. “I’ll get into touch with Rowena. We should be able to do this. I’m guessing you’re going to look after our resident archangel?”

“Yeah,” Sam confirmed, eager to return to Gabriel’s side. “Are you going to take Cas with you?”

“Why are you asking?”

“I’d like him here at the bunker, if possible. I do expect Asmodeus to show up sooner and later. Now that he can’t feed on Gabriel’s grace he might be going through withdrawal, so to speak. He has been shooting himself up for years. Who knows what going without it does to him. Cas can buy us time if Asmodeus decides to show up.”

“I’m staying with Gabriel.” 

Neither of them had noticed Cas walking up to them. A quick look told Sam that the bedroom door was wide open and Gabriel, who was resting, in clear view. “Cas,” Sam started, but his friend cut him short.

“Gabriel is too important to endanger in any way. It’s my duty to guard him and to make sure he’s safe, Dean.”

“Don’t worry, buddy. I understand and I’m fine with it. I can handle Lucifer. Just be ready for him when Rowena and I bring him in. We’ll need to keep him locked up.”

“We’ll take care of it,” Sam promised. “And thanks for understanding, Dean.”

“We’ve all been there, Sam. I’ve been to hell and I know what that kind of torture does to you.” Dean rested a hand on his brother’s shoulder and gave it a gentle squeeze. “I’ll never forget.”

Sam nodded. “Neither will I, and now get going.” It wouldn’t do to get emotional over it. They had work to do.

“I’ll be back – with Lucifer. In the meantime, make sure Gabriel remains safe and gets back to his feet!” Sam nodded at Cas, smiled at Sam, and turned around. 

Sam returned that smile. He should have known Dean would understand. He drew in a deep breath and looked at Cas. “Let’s go back in there and find out how he’s doing.” And how much damage he had done.

…

Gabriel was doing his utmost to fight his way back to them. The memories still felt too real. That rat hole’s stench made him nauseous and Asmodeus’ voice taunted him. He knew they were nothing but figments of his imagination, illusions, but they were incredibly hard to defeat. 

“Gabriel? Is there anything I can do to help? Anything at all?” Sam hoped physical contact would help, so he sat down on the bed, rested his back against the headboard, and moved Gabriel closer to him. He guided the blond head against his shoulder, wrapped an arm around him, and studied the archangel. “Gabe?”

Gabriel shivered, trying to free himself of his memories and forced himself to concentrate on Sam’s voice, which had pulled him back before. Sam had quickly become his lifeline. 

The emotion in those brown eyes changed and Sam sighed in relief. The apathy made way for awareness. Gabriel blinked, drew in a series of deep breaths, and swallowed repeatedly. “Cas, can you get him some water?”

Cas left for the kitchen and returned with bottled water, which he handed Sam. He felt relieved too, now that Gabriel had regained awareness. Telling himself to remain alert, he took up position in the doorway; no one would get past him. 

“Want something to drink?” Sam opened the bottle and offered it to the archangel. He watched closely when Gabriel raised a shaky hand and wrapped his fingers around the bottle. Good, this was good. 

Gabriel sipped the water and relished ridding himself of the awful taste in his mouth. Looking about, he tried to ground himself by reminding himself where he was and whom he was staying with. Castiel stood near the doorway with a fierce expression in his eyes. He didn’t know what that was about and it didn’t matter at the moment, because he’d realized that Sam was close. The fact that the youngest Winchester still supported him meant a lot to him. “Sorry. I probably scared you.”

Sam managed a smile. “Yeah, you did,” he whispered in a shaky voice. “Don’t do it again.”

“It took me by surprise too.” Gabriel sipped again and then placed the bottle onto the nightstand. “Let’s hope it doesn’t happen again.”

“What caused it?” Sam cringed, realizing he probably caused the flashback.

“Seeing my grace sitting in that vial,” Gabriel replied and pushed himself upright so he could look at Sam. “You couldn’t know that would happen. Don’t blame yourself.” Guilt was written all over Sam’s face. “Let it go.”

“I’ll try.” Sam felt grateful that Gabriel was recovering from that flashback. “Do you still want it though?” He wasn’t giving up. He had wanted to return Gabriel’s grace to the archangel for a reason. “It might help you heal.”

“Do you have it on you?” Gabriel wasn’t sure how he felt about doing this. 

“I have it,” Cas said quickly and moved toward the bed. He uncovered the vial and placed it on the bed, in front of Gabriel. “Sam is right. You need to heal.”

“I don’t know if this will do the trick,” he warned them. He really didn’t. Asmodeus had drained him for years and this represented just a tiny amount of the grace he had lost. “It might not be enough.” 

“There’s only one way to find out.” Sam was eager for Gabriel to try. He wanted to encourage Gabriel, but stopped himself, reminding himself not to pressure the archangel and to give him the time he needed.

“This should be easy,” Gabriel mused, but it wasn’t. The grace sitting in that vial reminded him of the ordeal he had been through; what Asmodeus had done to him. It also meant taking back control and moving on. “Let’s do this.” He drew in a deep breath, fully realizing he was about to take back part of what Asmodeus had stolen from him. 

Mesmerized, Sam watched Gabriel take hold of the vial, instantly noticing that the archangel’s hands were steady. They had stopped shaking. He exchanged a quick look with Cas, who seemed to be equally fascinated. Gabriel uncapped the vial and the grace ascended slowly, finding its way back to its rightful owner. 

Gabriel briefly closed his eyes and savored the moment. It strengthened him, but it was as he had feared; it was too little to actually heal his wounds. But that didn’t matter, as he felt more complete. “Thank you,” he told Sam as he handed him the empty vial. “This means a lot to me.”

“It wasn’t enough,” Sam realized, disappointed that the grace hadn’t been able to heal the archangel. His guilt doubled, realizing they should never have used Gabriel’s grace to open up that portal, not with the archangel being injured. “I’m sorry there isn’t more.”

“It’s fine, Sam. Don’t worry about it.” At the moment, he felt at peace. Sam’s gesture meant everything to him. He knew they could have kept it to themselves in case they needed another portal. “Now your mother and Jack are stuck in that alternate dimension.” 

Sam quickly updated him. “Dean’s going after Lucifer. His grace will work too.”

“You’re going after him? You shouldn’t. He’ll kill Dean the moment he sees him.”

“No, like you, Lucifer isn’t up to his usual power level. Leaving that alternate universe took a lot out of him. Cas found out about that.”

Gabriel’s gaze settled on Castiel. “How did you find out?”

“Lucifer scared off some angels who wanted to kill me. They were after Jack and I refused to betray him. Lucifer appeared and they ran. Sam is right though. Lucifer is weakened. We need to use that to our advantage.”

“Don’t underestimate Lucifer,” Gabriel warned them. “He’ll stab you in the back when you least expect it. Trust me, I know.”

“Dean knows that.” Sam understood Gabriel’s concern. “He’ll manage.”

“I hope so,” Gabriel whispered, realizing Dean would bring Lucifer here. “You do realize Lucifer thinks he killed me? He won’t be happy to find me here – alive.”

“We’ll deal with that when it happens,” Sam said pensively. “I could never do to Dean what Lucifer did to you. You’re brothers and he killed you.”

“Sam, you know as well as I do that Lucifer isn’t capable of love. He thrives on worship, or fear, but he doesn’t do brotherly love. He’s incapable of caring for someone else. Lucifer only cares about Lucifer. Dad knew that. That’s why he locked Lucifer away. Lucifer has always been intent on being the victim. All this, everything he has done, it’s a childish temper tantrum because dad didn’t love him best.”

“That’s why we need to prepare for his arrival,” Cas said, getting involved. “We need to modify the holding cell so he can’t cause trouble – not with you being here, Gabriel.”

Gabriel cocked his head and studied Castiel. Why was his safety so important to his brother? What weren’t they telling him?

…

“The wounds on your back must have opened again. There’s blood on your shirt,” Sam realized and cringed. “The bruises and cuts don’t look that bad anymore, but your back is a different matter.”

“That whip of his did some damage, I guess.” Gabriel tried to downplay it, but the truth was that his back did hurt. “I doubt that stuff you keep rubbing on my back actually helps.”

“It might be even worse without that stuff,” Sam pointed out. “Was there anything special about his whip?” 

“I really don’t know, Sammy. I never asked him about it.” Gabriel hadn’t been sane at the time and most floggings had left him unconscious and bleeding profusely.

“I really don’t understand. Bobby came up with the recipe and Dean and I use it all the time. It speeds up the healing process, I know that.” Sam reached for the jar holding the ointment. “Lose the shirt, Gabriel. I’m trying this again.”

Gabriel sighed and considered telling Sam not to bother. Maybe he had forgotten to mention the elaborate arcane markings on the handle of Asmodeus’ whip, imbuing it with obscure magic, which might also be the reason why he wasn’t healing. He had even recognized the sigil. It had been Lucifer’s. His brother’s power powered that wipe. But Sam couldn’t do anything about it, so why worry him?

“Gabe? The shirt?” Sam scooped some of the soothing balm onto his fingertips, rubbing his hands together in an effort to warm the ointment before applying it to Gabriel’s injured back.

“You shouldn’t bother,” Gabriel whispered, but complied anyway. He removed the shirt and turned his back toward Sam. The pain was bearable so there was no need to fuss about it.

“I don’t want you to suffer unnecessary. Not when I might be able to ease your pain.” Sam carefully applied the balm, spreading it gently across the welts. “I’m not giving up,” he announced, determinedly. 

Gabriel failed to smother the moan that unwillingly escaped his lips. Even though his back still hurt, being touched felt good. He’d gone without a kind touch for years.

That moan caused Sam to close his eyes, while trying to control the sensation building in his groin. No, this wasn’t happening again! But his body begged to differ. His body, and more precisely, his cock, was very much interested in what was happening. Sam desperately fought down the urge to kiss Gabriel’s neck and to sooth the archangel’s pain in a different way. His fingers moved on to smooth skin and instead of tending to wounds, his touch turned into a caress, eager to bring pleasure instead of pain. 

“Sam?” Gabriel wondered about the way Sam’s fingertips moved across his back. At the same time, Sam’s other hand moved across his abdomen, pulling him close. He turned his head slightly and tried to capture Sam’s gaze. It was hooded; he easily recognized the emotion. It was desire, maybe even lust? “Sammy?” 

Hearing his name pulled Sam from his entranced state. Horrified, he realized what had happened and froze in shock, only to find that his other hand possessively rested against Gabriel’s abdomen, stroking the soft skin there. “Fuck,” he whispered, wondering how this had happened. 

Gabriel moved about and faced Sam, who looked at him in shock. “Sam? I had no idea.” Sam Winchester was attracted to him? Sexually attracted? When had that happened and why hadn’t he noticed?

“I’m sorry, that shouldn’t have happened.” Sam quickly removed his hands from Gabriel’s person and fought the urge to sit on them so they couldn’t stray again. His cock however was a different matter. It was impossible to will his erection to go away. He was painfully hard and Sam blushed furiously. Maybe it was best to remove himself from this situation. “I’ll go.”

“Sam, don’t.” Gabriel wasn’t sure how to proceed, as this was totally unexpected. “There’s no reason to feel ashamed.” Sam’s flustered state surprised him. Why did Sam feel guilty over this? “I’m flattered,” he added, hoping to avoid a misunderstand. “When did it start?”

Sam moved away from Gabriel, trying to control his treacherous body. “I don’t know,” he admitted in a guilty tone. “It happened last night too.”

“So it’s new?” That explained Sam’s unease. “Do you want this?” Gabriel debated the wisdom of addressing the attraction. He was a mess and wasn’t sure he was boyfriend material at the moment. Maybe it was best to let Sam down gently? But at the same time, he really wanted this. Sam was special and Gabriel wanted to take this chance. It was so seldom that love found him.

Sam huffed. Did he want it? “As far as I can tell this is a one way thing. So why bring it up?”

“Don’t make assumptions like that,” Gabriel kindly chided him. “Just because I’m not in the mood, doesn’t mean I don’t like you. I’m not sure I could get it up to begin with. There’s so much crap going on in my life currently.”

Sam wasn’t sure what to make of Gabriel’s reaction. He used the comforter to cover up his groin, as he still felt embarrassed. “I didn’t plan this.”

“Of course you didn’t.” Gabriel smiled and inched closer. “I asked you a question which you still haven’t answered. Do you want this?”

“Define ‘this’,” Sam said, trying to stall as he needed to find a way out of the situation he had maneuvered himself into.

“Fair enough,” Gabriel conceded. “Do you want to get involved with me? You know who I am and what I’m like. Trust me, I’m not easy to love and probably impossible to be in a romantic relationship with.”

Something about the way Gabriel had worded that made Sam seek out his gaze. “What does that mean? You must have been in relationships before.” 

“Not really,” Gabriel admitted after an awkward silence. “You’re the first person I’ve let get this close to me. You might have noticed that I have trust issues.” He added a little smile, hoping to ease Sam’s unease.

“So, you only had one-night stands? Never something that lasted longer that a night?” Again, Sam wondered why that should surprise him. Everything he had learned about Gabriel so far, indicated the archangel was a loner, not by choice, but due to circumstance. “What about Kali?” he said, recalling the way Gabriel had boosted about their relationship back then.

Gabriel avoided eye contact and shrugged. “She wasn’t the faithful kind and I had commitment issues back then. I might have exaggerated that little affair.” If he wanted a shot at this, he had to be honest. No more lies and no more fancy wording in order to hide the ugly truth about him.

Gabriel’s awkwardness eased Sam’s own insecurity. “I appreciate your honesty and to answer your question, yes, I want this, but I’m not sure we should do this.”

“Do what? Go for a quick lay or an actual relationship?”

“I really don’t know. Until now I didn’t even realize you might want me in turn.”

Gabriel shrugged again. “Love comes in all kinds and shapes, Sam. I always welcome it with open arms.” Gabriel tentatively made eye contact. “Are you sure you want to take me on? Let’s be honest; I’m a mess.”

“And I’m much better? Do you have any idea how messed up my life is? The things I did? The times I died and somehow came back? Are you sure you want to take ME on, Gabe? I’m not an easy man to love either.”

“Don’t say things like that, Sam.” Gabriel moved closer still, wondering what the hell he was doing by complicating matters in this way, but then proceeded anyway. Slowly, giving Sam a chance to move away or stop him, he leaned in closer. He rested his hand at the nape of Sam’s neck and searched those darkened eyes for the answer he was looking for. Finding it, he tenderly brushed Sam’s lips with his; a gentle invitation for Sam to accept or decline.

TBC

 

 

 

 

 

 

Part 7

Sam wondered if he was still dreaming, but Gabriel kissing him was something he hadn’t fantasized about – not yet. The attraction was too new for that. The kiss was good though – not quite yet demanding, but applying just the right amount of pressure, and still conveying that first fluttering promise of love. “Gabe,” he whispered against those lips and smiled. “We must be mad.”

“I’ve ample experience in that particular department,” Gabriel teased gently. “But I like this kind of madness much better. What do we have to lose?” he asked; a part of him was still surprised that Sam was actually considering this. He had been serious when he had warned Sam that loving him wouldn’t be easy. Asmodeus would make his move sooner or later and Lucifer would also be after his blood once his brother realized he was still alive. 

“Gabriel…” Sam rested the palm of his hand against Gabriel’s cheek and then slid his fingers into the blond hair, holding the archangel in place. “I want you to listen and really hear what I’m saying, yes?”

Gabriel nodded and wondered what Sam was up to. He didn’t like that particular expression in Sam’s eyes. 

“No more tricks. This will only work if we’re honest with each other. You talk to me when something bothers you and I promise to do the same. No more hiding, no more running, do you understand? If we’re to do this, then we need to honest with each other.”

Well, Sam’s conditions could have been worse, Gabriel reckoned. “I’ll try,” he promised, instantly noticing Sam’s disapproval. “I’ll do my best,” he explained, “But this is new to me.”

“It’s new to me too, Gabriel!”

“That’s not what I mean, Sammy.” Gabriel felt the need to get closer to Sam and promptly climbed onto his lap. 

“You have to stop doing things like that,” Sam moaned, instantly growing aroused again. “You’re making it worse.”

Gabriel couldn’t help smirking proudly. Apparently he still had that special touch. “What I mean is that actually trusting someone is new to me. But I’m willing to trust you. It’s a huge step and you need to be patient with me.” Wow, Sam Winchester actually squirmed when he shifted, causing more friction in the process. “You’re hard,” he whispered into Sam’s ear. “Want me to give you a hand?” He wiggled an eyebrow. “Or do you prefer to handle it yourself?” Once a tease, always a tease, he mused. 

Sam had a hard time thinking straight. The way Gabriel was moving, teasing him, was too much. “I’m not amused,” he managed, trying hard not to come in his jeans like a teenager! But Gabriel had different ideas. The archangel’s hand strayed to his groin and massaged him through the fabric of his jeans. “Fuck,” he whimpered needy.

“We can do that too,” Gabriel offered and claimed Sam’s lips again. He nibbled on Sam’s bottom lip and expertly unzipped those jeans. “Impressive,” he whispered as he freed Sam’s erection and wrapped his fingers around the hard flesh. “I’m a lucky guy.”

Rational thought became impossible once Gabriel started stroking him. Sam stared at the archangel and wondered when exactly he had lost control over the situation. This wasn’t going according to plan! 

“Just relax and enjoy the ride.” Gabriel smiled and leaned in closer, kissing Sam again. 

Sam was lost in sensation. The kiss became more demanding and Sam eagerly opened his mouth, pulling Gabriel closely against him. He wasn’t going to last long; not with the way the archangel was pumping him. “I’m gonna come,” he managed once Gabriel released him from that kiss. 

“I want you to come, Sam. Just let go.” And Sam did just that. Sam tensed against him and Gabriel pressed his lips against his lover’s throat, sucking the skin possessively. His little trick worked and Sam climaxed against him. Holding Sam close, he soothed his lover and pressed kisses along his neck, causing Sam to quiver in his arms. 

Sam panted hard, trying to recover from probably the most intense orgasm he’d ever had. He rested his head against Gabriel’s shoulder and tried to slow down his breathing. 

“You definitely looked edible when you came.”

Sam couldn’t help himself. He chuckled, his mind and body both still reeling from his intense release. “Gabe,” he tenderly whispered the name, raised his head, and rested his brow against the archangel’s forehead so he could search the expression in those definitely wicked eyes. “Give me a warning before you do something like that.”

“Where’s the fun in that?” Gabriel’s ran his thumb along Sam’s jaw line and marveled about the man he was now romantically involved with. 

“What about you?” Sam asked, eager to reciprocate. He placed his hand against Gabriel’s chest and rubbed the skin beneath the shirt. 

“I’m afraid I’m not quite up to it yet. I’d love to, but… My vessel’s still too weak. Give me time and you’re more than welcome to make me come in turn.” He’d never forget the way Sam had looked at the moment of his release. “Thank you for letting me give you this. For trusting me.” He knew that first times weren’t easy and mostly awkward, and Sam must have felt vulnerable. He would have, had their situation been reversed.

Sam decided he liked Gabriel’s attitude to sex. The archangel had surprised him. Who would have thought Gabriel was more of a giver than a taker? Maybe he shouldn’t believe all those supposed affairs Gabriel liked to boost about. All those one-nightstands, the sassiness, the smugness Gabriel bragged about, was it just another way for the archangel to hide his true nature? Well, hopefully he would find out, but for now, cleaning himself up was his first priority. 

…

“I’ve warded one of the holding cells in the dungeon,” Castiel said upon his return, updating them. He’d found them in the war room, Sam once more studying ancient scrolls and Gabriel enjoying chocolate chip cookies. He’d never understand his brother’s obsession with sweets. “With Lucifer powered down, we should be able to keep him here and force him to cooperate.”

“Sam?” Gabriel waited for his lover to look at him and then grinned. To his delight, Sam grew instantly flustered. He couldn’t help feeling smug about it. 

“What?” Sam tried to ignore Gabriel’s smirk, exactly knowing why the archangel was looking that damn pleased.

“Jack is Lucifer’s kid? Did I get that right?” A lot of things they had told him were still hazy, since he hadn’t been coherent at that time.

“Yes, he is.” Sam leaned back in his chair. There was no way he would be able to concentrate on that text now Gabriel was giving him such a sassy look.

“I know what makes Lucifer tick. You might not have to force him to cooperate. If his kid is out there, he’ll want access to him. After all, Jack might be easily impressed. Lucifer IS his father, no matter what the boy might say. And Lucifer will want to influence him. Lucifer will want to corrupt him. You can use that to your advantage. Just make sure he doesn’t have any access to Jack once we get there.”

“We?” Sam frowned, had he misheard?

“You don’t think I’m going to let you go out there alone, do you? That’s not happening, Sammy. You got yourself a shadow these days.” If Michael was really causing problems, it was his duty to confront his brother. He’d been running away for too long. 

“Do you think that’s wise?” Castiel didn’t like this one bit. “You’re low on grace and we need you in heaven.”

“Heaven?” Gabriel raised an eyebrow at hearing that. “Why am I needed in heaven?”

“Because there are hardly any angels left and heaven is about to shut down. They need you to assume leadership.” Seeing Sam’s dismayed look, Castiel realized he had promised not to bring the matter up while Gabriel was healing, but it was too late now. 

“And you think I should lead heaven? Castiel, I’d only make things worse.” Gabriel disapproved of the idea. He’d only create more chaos upstairs.

“You’re the only one left for us to turn to. Apparently they asked Lucifer to lead them, but he ditched them.”

“They must be truly desperate to turn to Lucifer for help,” Gabriel whispered. “Lucifer likes being worshipped, but will never accept the responsibilities that come with the job.”

“At least consider it,” Castiel implored the archangel.

“I will, but it’s madness, trust me! I’m a screw up!” Gabriel shook his head. Nothing good could come out of him leading heaven. 

Unexpectedly Sam’s phone beeped, alerting them of an incoming call. Sam uncovered his phone and answered it without bothering to check who was calling. “Hello.”

“Sammy boy, I hope you’re having a pleasant day.”

Hearing Asmodeus’ voice that unexpectedly nearly sent Gabriel into a blind panic. It was only due to Castiel resting a reassuring hand on his shoulder that he managed to stay seated. His first impulse had been to make a run for it. 

“It has come to my attention that you boys have something that belongs to me and I’d like it back,” Asmodeus drawled.

Gabriel stared at Castiel in panic, then at Sam, who turned away from him as if to shield him from the malice coloring Asmodeus’ voice. He had known this would happen. Asmodeus would come for him, and considering the state he was in, he was absolutely no match for the current King of Hell. The mere thought of returning to his dirty, little cell was enough to make him cower in fear.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Sam chided himself for not checking who was calling. Gabriel’s wild expression told him the archangel was hanging on by the skin of his teeth.

“Boy, I believe you do,” Asmodeus lectured him. “And I’ll give you one chance to return him to me. No harm, no foul.”

“I’m hanging up,” Sam said, unwilling to play Asmodeus’ little game any longer. He had better things to do; like taking care of his lover, who looked severely spooked. And he didn’t blame Gabriel. Just hearing that awful voice had to bring back painful memories.

“Do not hang up on me,” Asmodeus threatened, clearly getting agitated. “Gabriel is of no use to you in his current condition!”

Those words made Gabriel flinch. Asmodeus was right; he was low on grace and powerless. The demon had seen to that. 

“Should you choose to resist me, then I’ll have no choice but to take him by force. I’ll reduce you, and that sad little brother of yours to ashes!”

Gabriel’s breathing sped up. He couldn’t believe he was about to suggest it, but maybe Sam should hand him over to Asmodeus as he didn’t want either Winchester to get killed over this! 

“Make up your mind quickly, boy! I’m coming for what’s mine. Now you can hang up!”

His worst nightmare was quickly coming true. Asmodeus calling them to announce his intentions showed just how confident the demon was that he could take them. Just how strong was Asmodeus with all that grace residing inside him? Very, Gabriel realized. Asmodeus would have no problems taking them out. “Sam, maybe you should hand me over to him. I don’t want you to get hurt.” He knew what hell awaited him once Asmodeus got his ugly hands on him, but the thought of Sam getting killed over this was unbearable. He had to ensure his lover’s safety… Lover, he mused, saddened. They would never take that final step. This was where their relationship had to end.

“No,” Sam said and shook his head determinedly. “Never. You’re staying. Cas and I’ll find a way to keep you safe. That punk isn’t going to get his hands on you. And you’re not suggesting that ever again. It’s not going to happen, do you understand? We’ll keep you safe!” 

“Sam’s right. We’ll find a way. We always do,” Castiel said, trying to reassure Gabriel, who looked ready to bolt from the room, so he kept his hand on the archangel’s shoulder, hoping to reassure him, and truth be told, to keep him in place as well.

“Sam, you don’t know what he’s capable of. Do you really think I want you to suffer because of me? He’ll kill you for getting in the way and it won’t be quick. He’ll make you beg for death!” Sam had to understand!

“I don’t care. This isn’t the first demon threatening me and he won’t be the last. He doesn’t scare me, Gabe.”

“But he should, Sam.” Gabriel accepted Sam’s decision, but Asmodeus would come for him and finish what the demon had started; Asmodeus would return him to his personal hell.

…

“Where did you go?” Gabriel asked upon Sam’s return to the war room. 

“I strengthened the bunker’s warding to the max,” Sam explained as he sat down next to Gabriel. “And what are you doing?” Gabriel had been staring at the wall, when he had found the archangel. He had a pretty good idea what was going on in Gabriel’s head and wished he could take those worries away, but he couldn’t. Asmodeus showing up and carrying out his threat was only a matter of time. 

“Not much… Maybe enjoying these last quiet moments before all hell breaks loose,” Gabriel revealed, clearly recalling Sam’s demand to be honest with him if they wanted this to work. “I don’t want to go back to hell,” he admitted. But he’d do so if it kept Sam alive. 

“That won’t happen.” Sam shook his head. “Asmodeus can’t have you. You’re mine.” For some elusive reason, he uncovered the velvet pouch, opened it, and held the diamonds in the palm of his hand. “Do you think these can help? Cas tried to explain to me what they are, but he isn’t sure himself.”

“Ah, I’d forgotten about those.” Sam placed them onto the palm of his hand and Gabriel rolled them between his fingertips. At once, they started humming softly, vibrating, and the echo filled the room. “I have no idea what they are either,” Gabriel admitted. His tears had never done that before. 

He selected the largest gem stone, held it between his fingertips, and studied it. Gabriel cocked his head, realizing there was something odd about the surface. “What’s this?” He eyed it more closely and realized something was edged onto the surface.

“What is it?” Excitedly, Sam moved closer, trying to see what had caught Gabriel’s attention.

“Well, I’ll be damned,” Gabriel muttered beneath his breath. The stone held his sigil. It had been burned onto the surface. 

“Gabe!” Sam elbowed Gabriel, trying to get his attention. “What is it?”

“The diamond carries my sigil.”

“Your sigil?”

“Yeah, my mark. I didn’t do this, at least not consciously.”

“What does it mean; that it has your sigil on it?” Sam couldn’t see the marking, but he believed Gabriel when he said it was there.

“I don’t know,” Gabriel said in a thoughtful voice. “It empowers the diamond, but I don’t know in what way.”

“We use sigils all the time,” Sam reminisced. “It must mean something.” Hopefully Gabriel found out in time. “You keep them,” he said decisively. “They belong with you. Your tears turned into these for a reason.”

Gabriel shrugged. He had no idea what he was supposed to do with these diamonds. In the end, he slipped them back into the safety of that velvet pouch. “Sammy,” he said and moved his chair closer to his lover’s. “I want you to make sure you’re safe when Asmodeus shows up. Don’t get involved.”

“Too late. I’m already involved.” Sam knew Gabriel wanted to protect him, but he wasn’t going to hand over his lover to the King of Hell, no way!

“I don’t want you to get hurt, or even worse, killed. Not because of me. I want you to live, Sam.” 

“We both will,” Sam corrected Gabriel. “I’m not going to die and you’re not going back to hell. Don’t you know yet that I’m a Winchester? Dean and I will stop Asmodeus. That jerk doesn’t stand a chance against us. We’ll crush him should he be so stupid as to show his ugly face at the bunker.”

“Such confidence,” Gabriel said, smiling warmly. “I hope it won’t get you killed.”

“I’ll find a way to come back. I don’t stay dead for long, don’t you know that yet?” Sam winked at Gabriel, trying to ease his lover’s fears.

“Yeah, can’t argue with that.” Gabriel slowly leaned in closer, slipped a hand around Sam’s shoulder and brought him in for a kiss. He’d better make good use of the time he’d left. 

Sam responded eagerly, enthusiastically returning the kiss and resting a hand possessively at the nape of Gabriel’s neck. “Damn, you taste good.”

“Like chocolate?” Gabriel quipped.

“Actually, you do,” Sam chuckled, recalling the chocolate chip cookies Gabriel had been eating. “And now shut up and let’s go back to kissing.”

Eager to please, Gabriel did just that, slipping Sam some tongue. Sam moaned and that moan went straight to Gabriel’s groin. 

Gabriel’s breath caught and Sam realized what was happening. “Finally able to get it up again?”

“Looks like it. Rotten timing though.” Gabriel brushed some elusive strands away from his lover’s face. “The longer hair does suit you.”

Pleased, Sam smiled. “It it were up to Dean, he would give me a buzz cut.”

“No way, I won’t have it,” Gabriel whispered against Sam’s lips, brushing them while speaking the words. “I love you just the way you are.”

“What are you doing?” 

Gabriel laughed warmly and rested his brow against Sam’s, pleased to see his lover’s eyes twinkle with amusement. “Castiel has rotten timing too.”

“Gabriel,” Castiel started, giving them an odd look.

Gabriel raised his head and winked at his brother. “After watching all that porn, you still don’t know what to do? I wonder if Dean and you will ever get to first base.”

Sam chuckled along. He had wondered about Cas and Dean too. 

“I don’t watch porn all the time!” Castiel objected sharply.

“Just now and then?” Gabriel teased, but then sobered. “Dearest brother, let me give you some advice. It might be the most important lesson for you to learn,” he said in a surprisingly serious tone. “If love finds you, take hold and never let go. It’s the most precious thing in the world.”

“Love? What the hell is going on here?”

Sam rolled back his eyes. He should know by now that Dean’s timing often sucked too. His brother appeared next to Cas and gave them a disturbed look. Great, now he had to explain this to both of them!

TBC

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Note: a warning might be in place. After seeing Lucifer shedding that tear after Gabriel lectured him, I felt Lucifer might be ready for a slight redemption arc. It might not last, he is the devil after all, but I’d like to give him his chance. Personally, I’d like some character development for Lucifer. He’s been the devil long enough!

Part 8

Dean, of course, knew what was going on, as he had seen them kiss. He had just stayed in the back until they were done. Cas being Cas had simply plunged ahead. So his baby brother was smooching the archangel? Sammy was full of surprises. “Sam, care to explain this to me?” He wondered how Sam was going to handle the situation. Or would Gabriel take the initiative?

Gabriel wasn’t sure it was a good idea to get between the two brothers. Sam knew Dean best. He looked at his lover, hoping Sam knew he’d support him, no matter what the younger man decided. 

Sam drew in a deep breath and demonstratively grabbed hold of Gabriel’s hand. Dean didn’t seem surprised so he had probably been watching them. “What’s there to explain? Gabriel and I are together.”

“Together as in… romantically involved?” Dean was truly enjoying making his brother squirm. 

“Yeah, like that!” Sam glared at his brother. “Got any problems with that?”

“Nope, whatever you do in your bedroom is your business. I’m surprised though. I thought you only had a thing for chicks?”

“Apparently not,” Sam replied curtly, hoping Dean got the message. 

Hoping he wasn’t going to make things worse, Gabriel added, “I’ll treat him right. This is serious.”

“You,” Dean said and pointed a finger at the archangel, “you’d better do just that. If I discover this is just a way to get into Sam’s pants then you’d wish you’d be back in hell.” Dean glared to stress his words. To his surprise, Gabriel paled and looked like he was about to throw up. 

“How did things go with Lucifer?” Sam was eager to draw Dean’s attention away from Gabriel, who trembled against him.

“We nailed the son of a bitch. We locked him away in that warded holding cell in the dungeon. He’s really powered down, which made capturing him surprisingly easy.” Dean felt pleased that their plan had worked out. But he still felt like he was being kept in the dark. “What’s up with you, Gabriel? You look like shit.”

“Dean!” Sam shook his head, disapproving of his brother’s bluntness.

“Asmodeus called,” Cas said, informing Dean. “He threatened to kill the two of you if you don’t hand over Gabriel. He really wants him back.”

“That son of a bitch actually did that?” Dean’s eyes flashed with anger. “He’s seriously starting to tick me off. Colonel Sanders has to go. Will the archangel blade do the trick, Gabriel?” So that was why Gabriel looked haunted? Asmodeus had threatened Sammy and was coming to drag him back to hell? Yeah, now he understood Gabriel’s reaction to his threat earlier, but it was too late to apologize for it now.

Gabriel hadn’t been listening, still worrying about Sam’s safety in case Asmodeus showed up at the bunker. 

“Gabe, will the archangel blade take out Asmodeus?” Sam squeezed his lover’s fingers in order to gain his attention. Hopefully Gabriel was able to focus.

“I don’t know. Maybe, probably. You’ll have to find out yourself.” He hated being this messed up, but at the moment thinking straight was too big a challenge.

“We’ll be prepared for him,” Dean promised, finding himself wanting to reassure the upset archangel. “But we should concentrate on Lucifer for now. We need his grace, not necessarily his cooperation, but having it would make things easier. Gabriel, do you think you can get him to cooperate?” Dean knew he was asking a lot, but Gabriel and Lucifer were brothers. 

“You do realize he killed me at the Elysian Fields hotels?” Gabriel had known they would ask him for help, but to actually confront Lucifer scared him. He wasn’t up to dealing with Lucifer’s usual mind games. “And that I tried killing him?”

“Yeah, you did,” confirmed Dean with a big smirk, feeling proud that the archangel had pulled through back then. Dean recalled everything that had led up to Gabriel facing Lucifer. That was when he had realized that Gabriel wasn’t one of the bad guys after all. “We’ll be there. We won’t leave you alone with him,” he promised, hoping to take away some of the archangel’s dread.

Hearing that helped, but Gabriel wasn’t convinced. “I’ll try,” he promised, “But he’ll play mind games and I’m not up to my usual tricks. You’ll have to watch me very carefully. I can’t vouch for my actions where he’s concerned.” This could turn ugly very quickly. The Winchesters might not know it, but he was prone to temper tantrums when pushed too far.

“Gabe?” Something in Gabriel’s tone alarmed Sam, who searched his lover’s gaze and found it deeply troubled.

“Lucifer created Asmodeus and he’ll know by now what his creation did to me. Lucifer will gloat and use that to his advantage.” He doubted he needed to spell it out to them.

“I’ll be close at all times. If necessary, I’ll get you out,” Sam promised. “I know this is hard on you, but I also know you’re strong. You can do this.” Gabriel had to confront Lucifer at one point.

“I said I’d do it,” Gabriel reminded him, but his legs felt wobbly when he got up from his chair. “Let’s do this before I chicken out.”

Sam watched his lover walk down the corridor, closely flanked by Cas, who looked ready to kill anyone threatening Gabriel. He’d join the archangel in a moment, but first, he knew Dean wanted a word with him in private.

“Sammy, are you sure about this?”

“Why are you asking me that?” Sam wanted to hear Dean’s reasoning first, so he could counter his brother’s arguments if necessary. If Dean thought he could change his mind then his brother was mistaken.

Dean carefully considered his reply, instead of just plunging ahead like he normally did. “Several reasons. Gabriel is an archangel; he isn’t human. He also just went through a very rough time and he’s dealing with a lot of shit.”

Dean’s speech surprised Sam, who had expected his brother to bring up different reasons why being together with Gabriel was a bad idea. “This isn’t about him being a guy? Or him having a certain reputation with the ladies? You’re not worried he’s going to betray me by sleeping around?”

“No, not at all.” Those things didn’t concern Dean.

“Why not?” Sam eyed his brother critically. 

Dean decided to come clean. “I overheard his advice to Cas. Gabriel sounds like someone who knows how rare love is. The ones who do, tend to be the faithful kind, no matter what their past track record says. I don’t worry about those things.”

“You surprise me, Dean.” His brother really did. “And yes, I’m sure. I know Gabriel still has rough times ahead of him, but the two of us made it too, Dean. You know that having someone at your side to support and love you makes a huge difference. And I deeply care about him.”

“And the feeling is mutual?” Dean had to make sure.

“Yeah.” Sam nodded. “I really think it is. You’re giving him a fair chance then?”

“If he makes you happy, yeah, sure.” Dean rested a hand on Sam’s shoulder and squeezed. “Have you already fucked your archangel?”

Sam stared at Dean, shocked at his brother’s audacity and calmly countered it. “Did you fuck your angel yet?” Dean’s eyes widened dramatically, he coughed, removed his hand, and quickly turned around to flee the room. Sam grinned broadly. Well, Dean should know by now that two could play that game!

…

Gabriel was grateful that Castiel usually was the silent kind, as he didn’t feel like talking either. He didn’t mind finding Dean out about Sam and him, as it had been destined to happen. But the prospect of facing Lucifer did. He doubted he was strong enough to deal with his brother’s usual antics.

“Let’s wait for Sam and Dean to get here first,” Cas said upon reaching the dungeon holding Lucifer. “I want them here when you go inside.”

Gabriel nodded; he didn’t mind. Lucifer would start taunting him the moment he stepped inside and he was grateful to get a short respite. He shuffled his feet, feeling strangely nervous. He had never thought he would be facing Lucifer ever again. 

Sam appeared first, closely followed by a fierce looking Dean. Gabriel noticed Cas’ and Dean’s expression were much alike. Both seemed ready to go in for the kill. Having them in his corner reassured him somewhat, knowing Dean Winchester was a force to reckon with. Even Lucifer had to admit to that.

Sam’s smile assured him that the two brothers had come to an understanding. He’d hate to be the reason for them to start fighting. Dean and Sam shared a strong bond, which transcended a mere bond between brothers. These two men had been to hell and back, had died, and killed for each other. He would never consider getting between them.

Sam walked up to Gabriel and grew worried upon finding his lover looking lost; his every emotion showed clearly. Sam almost reconsidered their plan. Maybe they shouldn’t ask Gabriel to do this. But then again, the archangel wanted to help. “Remember, “ Sam reminded him, trying to reassure his nervous lover, ”I’m at your side and we’ll watch Lucifer closely at all time. If it becomes too much to handle, just leave, or if necessary, I’ll get you out. Don’t drain yourself by talking sense into that son of a bitch if he doesn’t want to listen. It’s like Dean said, his cooperation would be nice, but it isn’t necessary.” Sam hated seeing the vulnerability on Gabriel’s face. 

“I’ll talk to him and try to get him to cooperate, but I can’t make any promises.” Emotionally, he was still a mess. Castiel opened the door to the holding cell and Gabriel drew in a deep breath, trying to mentally prepare himself for what was going to be an ugly confrontation. Sam followed him in and it was good to know both Winchesters and Castiel were backing him up. He needed them at his side.

Gabriel cautiously studied Lucifer, who sat some feet away from him. Seeing his older brother again brought back painful memories. Lucifer had killed him without giving it a second thought. It once more proved Lucifer was beyond redemption. Lucifer’s hands were bound; his handcuffs showed familiar Enochian markings, binding his remaining powers for now. 

Those handcuffs did little to reassure Gabriel though, who wasn’t fooled by Lucifer’s current demure state. He knew what his brother was capable of. He forced himself to meet Lucifer’s gaze and steeled himself for the menace that would stare back at him. It was hard to believe that in the beginning of time they had been brothers; they had been close friends and had trusted each other unconditionally. Those times, however, were long gone. 

Lucifer blinked in disbelief. “Gabriel?” He had a hard time believing his eyes. It couldn’t be Gabriel standing there. Although, the cornered look in those brown eyes was familiar. Suddenly, he recalled what had happened at the Elysian Fields’ hotel and shivered involuntarily. “I killed you,” he whispered, stunned. It had taken him a while to fully admit that dreadful deed to himself, as he had realized he actually regretted killing his brother. That realization had taken him aback and he had fought it, banishing it to the depths of his mind, where it had remained buried until now. Back then he had convinced himself that murdering his brother had been done in self-defense, but deep down he wasn’t sure Gabriel would have followed through. Gabriel might have said so, but would his little brother really have killed him? 

The truth was that Gabriel wasn’t a cold-blooded killer. He never had been. That quality perfectly fitted his brothers though; Michael, Uriel, and he himself, they were killers, but Gabriel had always been different. It was the very reason why a part of him hated himself for ending Gabriel’s existence. How was it possible that his brother was back though? Standing in front of him and giving him that patented look?

“Unfortunately you didn’t. You failed,” Gabriel whispered and immediately caught Sam’s sharp intake of breath. He hated hurting his lover’s feelings, but it was true. If Lucifer had succeeded in killing him back then, he would never have fallen into Asmodeus’ seedy hands. To his surprise, Lucifer looked more shocked than furious. “Don’t look so fucking disappointed,” Gabriel admonished his brother, “you’ll probably get the chance to finish me off for real sooner and later.” His emotions were all over the place; this wasn’t going to end well.

Sam forced himself to stay in the back and not to get involved, although he wanted to support Gabriel, who was in such obvious distress. He’d had dealings with Lucifer before and he hated the fallen angel, but knew things had to be worse for Gabriel, since Lucifer was blood – family.

Lucifer startled at hearing Gabriel’s chilling words. It almost sounded like Gabriel wanted him to kill him. But that couldn’t be. His brother was a survivor, always had been. What had happened to cause this staggering change in his younger brother? It took him a moment to compose himself again, but he managed to do so, outwardly at least. On the inside, it was a different matter. “Who says I want to see you dead?”

Lucifer’s words surprised Gabriel, who hadn’t expected his brother to say something like that. He wasn’t going to rattle that cage though. Everything Lucifer said, his brother said for a reason; he had to keep that in mind. Lucifer couldn’t be trusted. “Do you know why you’re here?” Gabriel asked instead, trying to shift the attention away from himself and back to the reason why he was talking to Lucifer in the first place. 

So his little brother didn’t want to go there? Lucifer wasn’t going to give up that easily though; he would detour instead. “Yeah, apparently you guys need my grace to open up a rift. Why can’t they use yours though?” Lucifer was truly puzzled, and not faking it. If the Winchesters had an archangel at the bunker and working with them, why did they need him? Maybe it was time to provoke Gabriel a little. It had always worked in the past. “Or are you too weak, little brother? You always were the runt of the litter!” He was curious to find out how Gabriel was going to react to that. From the corner of his eye, he noticed Sam closely watching them. The youngest Winchester seemed ready to slit his throat for the way he had addressed Gabriel just now. Interesting…

“You know I’m too weak and why that is,” Gabriel lectured Lucifer in a sharp tone, knowing better than to fall for his brother’s manipulations. “Don’t play games, Lucifer. I’m not in the mood for them today.” This confrontation was quickly draining him and he wasn’t sure how much longer he’d last. 

Lucifer was about to provoke Gabriel again, when he registered a particular scent. He failed to identify it at first, cocked his head, and drew in a deep breath; then it hit him. “Why are you bleeding?” He definitely smelled archangel blood, but there was another odd smell mixed in to it; it stank of hell in here. 

Gabriel had been expecting Lucifer to make his move and was prepared. “You know why. This is just like you, Lucifer, to play your little games. So, you’re going to pretend that you don’t know what Asmodeus did to me all those years? I must admit, I expected you to gloat instead and brag about creating Asmodeus and then taking credit for having indirectly tortured me all that time! You must be proud of your little lap dog! That son of a bitch drained me for years and kept me locked up in a dirty cage!” Gabriel knew he had to stop; he had lost control over his emotions. He shouldn’t give Lucifer the satisfaction of knowing his brother had hurt him, but he couldn’t stop himself. Lucifer had probably ordered Asmodeus to capture him and make him pay in the first place! 

Sam witnessed Gabriel fall apart, but was unable to stop it. He had promised his lover to get him out if Lucifer overwhelmed him, but seeing Gabriel’s eyes change to blue, he knew better than to get involved. He had to let this play out, even though he hated seeing Gabriel in so much pain. Sam intercepted Dean’s gaze and could tell his brother felt torn too. Knowing Dean the way he did, he realized his brother wanted Gabriel away from Lucifer too. But the fierce look on Gabriel’s face warned them that it would not end well if they got involved now. A quick look at Cas told Sam that the angel was ready to silence Lucifer, so he quickly shook his head. No matter how much he hated admitting it, this was Gabriel’s fight and they had to stand down for now.

Lucifer tried to make sense of what Gabriel had just said. What had Asmodeus to do with all this? He wished he had never created the bastard, who had turned out impossible to control. Asmodeus had become a loose cannon and had even dared to imprison him! So Lucifer knew what it was like to be locked up in those dungeons. He’d promised himself to take out that son of a bitch once he got the chance. In the end, he cautiously addressed Gabriel, taking care to speak in a calm and clear voice. ”I have no idea what you’re talking about, brother.” He added that last word on purpose, trying to re-establish some sort of bond. He had never before seen Gabriel so out of control. He hadn’t thought Gabriel capable of such rage. Gabriel had always been the quiet and composed one out of the four of them.

“Brother?” Gabriel’s voice caught; emotion choking him up. “You dare still call me that? After everything you did? Tell me, brother,” he sneered, “did Asmodeus report back to you? Did you come to gloat while I was down and out? I honestly don’t remember. I was insane for a very long time. Did you…” Gabriel stopped himself, shook his head, and tried to regain control, but failed. He had warned Dean and Sam that this was a bad idea, and he should have told them no when they had proposed he talked to Lucifer, but it was too late now. It needed out and he had to know! “Did you create his fucking whip, just so he could flog me with it? I saw the markings on the handle. It carried your sigil, dear brother,” he spat the accusation at Lucifer in a venomous tone. Maybe it was a good thing that he had lost most of his powers, for he was tempted to do some serious damage where Lucifer was concerned. He would never forget the pain he had been in when Asmodeus had whipped him, tearing him apart inside and out.

Gabriel’s fury was something to behold, Lucifer mused, and he wasn’t easily impressed. If only he knew what Gabriel thought he had done to him! “Gabriel, calm down. I have no idea what you’re talking about. What did Asmodeus do to you?” And what was all that talk about a whip? He searched his memory and… Yeah, it was true; he had created one for Asmodeus after he had brought the Princes of Hell into existence. Asmodeus had been the weakest out of the lot and had needed some means to enforce his rule, so he had created that whip. And yes, said whip carried his sigil. Was Gabriel trying to tell him that Asmodeus had used it on him? It would explain the blood and why Gabriel couldn’t heal himself.

“I bet you didn’t know that he modified it,” Gabriel whispered in a menacing tone. Lucifer could pretend all he wanted; he knew the bitter truth about his brother. “And of course you don’t know that he now also uses it to target angels, one archangel in particular.” He flinched uncontrollably, recalling the pain that whip had brought him – was still giving him for his back hurt like hell. “Don’t act like you’re innocent, Lucifer. You know why I’m bleeding and can’t heal. It’s your foul magic festering in those wounds and making sure I’m in pain.”

Gabriel’s rage increasingly worried Sam, who moved closer to Dean and Cas. He whispered, “We need to get Gabe out of here.” This wasn’t going according to plan. Dean nodded; his brother agreed. Sam wanted to walk up to his lover, wrap his arms around Gabriel, and take him into safety; away from Lucifer’s poison, but then those eyes deepened to an even darker blue, which was a fair warning to stay at a distance. Reluctantly Sam complied.

Lucifer had reached a conclusion which he found hard to believe. “Are you telling me that Asmodeus caught you, tortured you, and… flogged you?” It would explain the blood. How the hell had Asmodeus gotten his hands on Gabriel? And had he heard correctly? Had Asmodeus tortured his brother for years? If that was the case, Asmodeus had really pissed him off. No one hurt his brother except he himself. “I didn’t know what.” Gabriel’s expression told him his brother didn’t believe him. Gabriel had judged him and had found him guilty. Surprisingly that hurt like hell! If he had known Gabriel had been locked up at Asmodeus’ lair, he would have gotten him out when Cas and he had escaped. He wouldn’t have left Gabriel behind, but his brother would never believe him.

“And I’m supposed to believe you’re innocent? Lucifer, this is just another sick game you’re playing and I’m not buying it.”

“No, it isn’t.” Lucifer marveled at the fact that he really worried about Gabriel. He had never seen his little brother looking that lost before.

“Do you really expect me to believe you have changed?” Gabriel snarled and shook his head. He had to get his emotions back under control, but how? Sam was giving him pleading looks, but he didn’t want to expose his lover to Lucifer’s poison.

“I am changed, Gabriel.” Lucifer confirmed, startling himself. The fact that Gabriel thought he had stooped that low hurt. Apparently he still cared about Gabriel. And he had a son too, he reminded himself; Jack, whom he had never met. Family hadn’t mattered to him for eons. Everything had changed when his dad had locked him away and now Gabriel had upended his life again.   
All these unsettling feelings were back and confused him as he hadn’t experienced them for ages, but Gabriel had somehow brought them back and he had no idea what he was supposed to do with them! He didn’t do feelings! Not anymore! He didn’t know how to handle them. He didn’t know how to care about someone else, not anymore. But he had cared about Gabriel once. A long time ago when they had still resided in heaven, before dad had started his human experiment and everything had fallen apart. 

Gabriel arched an eyebrow. “Changed? Dude, it’s me. I’ve known you since the stars were made,” he tiredly reminded his brother. He couldn’t do this much longer. Gathering the little strength he had left, he advanced on Lucifer, trying to maintain eye contact, no matter how hard that was on him. “You can’t change,” he said decisively. Lucifer had once more proven that to him by setting Asmodeus on his trial and then denying it.

Lucifer stared at Gabriel in disbelief. His brother wasn’t even giving him a fair chance to explain and prove himself? 

“You’re incapable of empathy, love, you live to be worshipped, or feared, or both.” For once Gabriel was going to tell his brother what he really thought of him. No matter how much it would cost him later. He’d already felt exhausted and this confrontation was making it worse.

Lucifer wasn’t going to make himself vulnerable again now that Gabriel had clearly already judged him. If his brother was convinced that he was evil, he would get evil. “Oh, I can see that you still buy into dad’s lies.” Yes, this was a safe route to take. He would show Gabriel what a total bastard he was!

“Oh, is this the part where you tell me that dad made up all those so called lies about you? Got it.” Exasperated, Gabriel wondered what it would take for Lucifer to finally understand and accept that he had never been a victim. Lucifer, however, loved playing that particular role. He always had. They were once more back on familiar terrain.

“Yeah! Pop locked me up, okay?” His father had betrayed him in the end. He still felt like that.

“Don’t you get it? Humans are innocent and beautiful, but you couldn’t stand that the old man loved them more than he loved you. So you tempted them and corrupted them, just to prove how right you were.” Gabriel was growing short of breath. He couldn’t do this much longer.

“You’d better be careful, man.” Gabriel telling him off was something Lucifer wasn’t used to. Gabriel usually preferred to lay low or to run. And now his little brother had grown up and was actually lecturing him? And the worst part was, those words were hitting home. Deep down, although he wasn’t yet ready to admit that, he knew Gabriel was right.

“Dad saw your evil was like the first cells of cancer, that they would spread like the disease unless he cut it out. That’s why he locked you up, to stop the cancer.” If that didn’t get his point across, nothing ever would. ”But it was too late then and guess what, it’s too late for you now.” Gabriel, exhausted and about to collapse, turned away and stumbled toward the doorway. He desperately needed to get away from Lucifer. He looked at his brother from over his shoulder and said, “Play your games all you want. I’m done with you.” Drawing in a deep breath, he shakily made his way down the corridor. 

Gabriel never saw the single tear that Lucifer shed, but Sam, Dean, and Cas did.

TBC

Part 9

Sam blinked at seeing that tear, but quickly dismissed it as part of Lucifer’s shenanigans as the devil was incapable of remorse. He quickly turned on his heels and shook off Dean’s hand when his brother tried to stop him. He was going after his lover and no one would stop him, not even Dean.

Dean let Sam take off, knowing he wouldn’t be able to stop him. And truth be told, if he were in Sam’s shoes, he would want to comfort his lover too. So he watched Sam storm out of the room and turned his attention on Lucifer instead. Dean too, thought that shedding that tear was nothing but manipulation on Lucifer’s part. What else could it be? He sought out Cas’ gaze, and frowned upon recognizing the look in the angel’s eyes. Cas wasn’t buying Lucifer’s little act, was he?

“Did you order Asmodeus to capture Gabriel and torture him in your name?” Cas asked, needing facts. “If you lie then it’s over.”

Lucifer felt conflicted. Now that Gabriel was gone and had taken the emotional storm with him, he was beginning to calm down. No way in hell did he want Dean Winchester and Castiel to know the truth about him! They were enemies, always had been, always would be. Their destinies were entwined and had been designed that way at the beginning of time. And suddenly, he was sick and tired of it all. He was done with playing his part, a role he had never asked for. 

“No, I didn’t,” Lucifer answered, feeling strangely calm. “You were there when I talked to that ass and you heard what was said. That was the one time I talked to him since I got back. You know that I tried to get him back in line, but ditching that alternate world left me weakened. That’s how we ended up in his dungeon, remember?” he reminded Castiel. Why was he telling them the truth? Because he was done with being his old self. Maybe he was ready for this change.

No matter how much he hated admitting it, Dean’s gut instincts told him Lucifer was being honest. “And what about that whip Gabriel mentioned?”

Lucifer’s facial features briefly contorted, showing his guilt. “Uh, yeah, I did create that. I probably shouldn’t have, but at the time I needed Asmodeus to play his part and he was too weak, so I created that thing for him.”

“What’s so special about it?” Cas moved closer again and studied his brother. He was under the impression that Lucifer was actually telling the truth, but why?

“Enhanced spell work,” Lucifer said, reluctant to reveal his past activities to them, but they needed to know if they wanted to help Gabriel, and for some elusive reason, he wanted his brother to heal. “I designed it in order to cause the worst possible damage. That’s why Gabriel isn’t healing. He was right about that.”

“Will destroying the damn thing help?” Dean was already thinking ahead and trying to come up with solutions. 

Lucifer thought it over. “Maybe, but the damage has already been done. I’m guessing it’s his back?”

“Yes,” Cas confirmed. “The welts refuse to heal.”

“I can heal him,” Lucifer offered. “Just set me free. I have enough power left to heal his wounds.” He had to try, though he doubted they’d listen. 

“No way,” Dean decreed. “I’m not setting you free ever again!” 

“But then Gabriel won’t heal,” Lucifer reminded them. “Look,” he said and concentrated on Dean, meeting his glare head on. “I know you don’t trust me.” Dean snorted in disdain, and Lucifer flinched, much to his own surprise. “But I AM changed and I want to help. That’s my little brother out there and he’s hurting. You know what that feels like,” he said, addressing Dean specifically. 

“Don’t play games with me, jerk.” Dean shook his head. “You created that whip. You’re the reason he’s hurting in the first place and you expect me to believe that you have changed? You hoped I’d buy into it and release you, but I’m not doing that. You can rot away in here for all I care.”

Cas raised his hand, signaling Dean to calm down. Dean was allowing his emotions to get the better of him. Maybe it was best if he took over. “Lucifer,” he said, redirecting his brother’s attention. “I want to know more about that whip.”

It looked like Castiel believed him, so Lucifer focused on him. “Yeah, it carries my signature. I designed it so Asmodeus could whip his demons in line. It was never meant to target angels. He must have modified my spell.”

Cas nodded once. “Gabriel mentioned something similar. Dean,” he said, looking the older Winchester in the eye, “we need to destroy that whip and you should consider letting Lucifer heal Gabriel. They’re both archangels and thus their energies are compatible. Lucifer can help, I can’t. Not to that extent.” Cas moved out of the way when Dean approached and went to stand in the back, knowing Dean wanted to evaluate Lucifer for himself. “For what it’s worth, I believe Lucifer is sincere in his desire to help Gabriel. I can tell he isn’t lying.”

Lucifer was impressed; Castiel was actually vouching for him. He hadn’t expected that. But it wasn’t Castiel he had to convince. No, it was Dean Winchester who would decide his fate. Had he been at full force, he would have blasted Dean out of the way to get to his brother. But with his powers down, everything was different. It was another confusing aspect of his current condition and it actually forced him to consider his thoughts, before acting on them like he normally would. 

“I don’t believe you,” Dean said in a firm tone as he glared at Lucifer. “You’re evil. You’re the devil. The things you did to Sammy… The things you did to me and the rest of the world… I agree with Gabriel; you’re incapable of change, no matter what Cas says. My every instinct warns me against even considering cooperating with you.” Dean studied Lucifer for a long moment. “But I believe Cas when he says that you can help Gabriel heal. And after all the shit Gabriel has been through, he deserves a shot at getting better, but freeing you because of that? You’ll stab us in the back the moment I set you free. It’s in your nature to fuck us over.”

Lucifer knew he was losing the battle and tried one last time. Never in the millions of years he had lived, had he ever thought he would one day find himself trying to change Dean Winchester’s mind in order to let him help. “You’re probably right,” he started, but then realized he had said the wrong thing. “No, you’re wrong,” he corrected himself and stared at Dean, willing the man to truly hear him. “But consider this, I might have become the devil, but I’m also an archangel. Gabriel and I are brothers and seeing him in pain like that… That’s wrong, man. He doesn’t deserve that. This is one time when I’m being honest. I want to help, Dean.”

Dean shook his head again. He just didn’t believe Lucifer. 

…

Sam found Gabriel in the war room, sitting on the floor, arms wrapped around his legs and with his head buried between his knees, panting hard. If the archangel had been human, Sam would have thought he was hyperventilating. “Gabe?” he whispered; hopefully he was able to calm down his lover. “How are you doing?”

Gabriel slowly raised his head and stared helplessly at Sam. “I screwed up –again. I didn’t mean to.” He felt guilty for letting things spin out of control. “I tried to warn you.”

“Yes, you did warn me.” Now that the eyes were back to brown, Sam sat down next to his lover. He reminded himself to go slow. Although he wanted nothing more than to bury Gabriel in a hug, he kept his distance a little longer. “But you didn’t screw up,” he tried consoling the desolate archangel. “I really think you got through to Lucifer, which is probably a first.”

“And what did that get us? I alienated him further.” Gabriel rested the back of his head against the wall and stared at the ceiling. “I don’t know what came over me. I was angry – so fucking angry.”

“That’s understandable,” Sam reasoned and inched closer. “But you didn’t answer my question. How are you doing, Gabe?”

Gabriel turned his head and looked Sam in the eye. “Honestly?” At seeing Sam nod, he added, “I feel terrible.” His right hand reached for Sam’s, and the younger Winchester reacted at once by wrapping his fingers around it. The physical contact helped and Gabriel pulled Sam closer to him. “Brothers aren’t supposed to be after each other’s throat. They’re supposed to protect each other, but you know that.”

“Yeah, you’re right, but it’s not your fault you ended up with a family of dicks.”

The comment eased the tension and Gabriel smiled. “You’re not angry with me?”

“For ripping the devil a new one? Never! Lucifer had that coming for an eternity! I bet he never thought it would be you to finally tell him off.” Dean had once told Gabriel that the archangel was too afraid to stand up to his family and to Lucifer in particular, but that had changed. Gabriel had proven himself to them. “I’m proud of you,” he said and wrapped an arm around his lover. 

“You are?” Gabriel frowned. What was there to be proud of? “Hopefully I didn’t ruin everything for you.”

“You didn’t. We’ll find a way to get Lucifer to cooperate. Your wellbeing comes first though. Is there anything I can do to help?”

“You’re already doing it.” Gabriel leaned against his lover for support and rested his head against Sam’s shoulder. “Just sitting here and --”

Suddenly the bunker’s alarms went off. Red light bathed the walls in crimson and a siren cut through the building, alerting them. Next to him, Gabriel froze. This could only mean one thing. “Asmodeus is here,” Sam said and he quickly tightened his hold on Gabriel. “We’ve got this,” he said, trying to reassure Gabriel who was shaking himself to pieces. Sam had no idea how they were going to deal with Asmodeus, but one thing was clear; that son of a bitch had to die.

…

“It has to be Asmodeus,” Cas alerted them. “I keyed the warding to pick up on his presence. He’s here.” He slid his angel blade into his hand and didn’t wait for Dean to take action. He was already running down the corridor, determined to stop the current King of Hell from getting his hands on Gabriel once more.

“Come on, Dean! I can help!” Lucifer tried his best puppy dog look on Dean, who seemed indecisive. “I know what makes Asmodeus tick. You don’t want that bastard to hurt Sam and I’ve got a score to settle with him for torturing Gabriel. You can trust me!” He really wanted a shot at destroying Asmodeus. Not just for having imprisoned him, but mainly for what the demon had done to Gabriel. He wanted revenge for both of them. 

Dean however shook his head. “Those handcuffs stay in place.”

“I can’t help like this!” Lucifer raised his hands and rattled the cuffs. “Come on, man! I’m not the enemy here! That’s Asmodeus! I’m on your side for once!”

Dean was going to deny Lucifer again, but then the siren stopped and a high-pitched scream cut through the bunker. 

“That’s Gabriel,” Lucifer said through clenched teeth. “Let me go. If you don’t, I’ll hunt you down once I’m free. That’s my brother out there!”

Dean wavered, but the screams continued, before they eventually turned to pitiful sobs. Dean grabbed hold of Lucifer’s shoulder and pulled him along. “One wrong move and I’ll finish you off with Gabriel’s archangel blade, you got that?”

Lucifer hardly listened; he was completely focused on the sounds coming from inside the bunker. “The cuffs, man.” He extended his arms toward Dean. This was it. Would Dean Winchester free the devil?

“I can’t believe I’m doing this,” Dean whispered, hating the fact that he had to set the devil free. “Just remember, one wrong move and you’re a goner.”

“I heard you the first time around. Move it!” The moment the cuffs opened, Lucifer dropped them to the floor. Free at last! He rubbed his arms and then glared at Dean.”What are you waiting for? Get moving!”

Dean shook his head in exasperation, but then took off after Lucifer, who was running down the corridor. He hoped they’d be in time to prevent the worst.

…

Castiel stormed into the war room and immediately sought out his charge; he had to protect Gabriel at all cost. Gabriel was currently huddled on the floor, looking absolutely terrified. “Sam,” he addressed his friend. “It’s Asmodeus!”

Sam nodded and turned to Gabriel. “Stay down and let us handle this, yes?” In his current state Gabriel should stay out of the fight. The archangel getting involved would do more harm than good. 

“Yeah, sure,” Gabriel managed and pulled his knees to his chest, trying to make himself as small as possible. His legs wouldn’t carry him anyway, not in his current condition. 

Demons rushed inside and targeted them. Castiel was prepared and took out the enemy, quickly coming to Sam’s aid, who had trouble fighting off his attacker.

“Thanks.” Sam exchanged a look with Cas, and then sought out his lover, who hadn’t moved. Gabriel’s terror seemed to be building – not good. Sudden motion near the entrance caught his attention; it was Asmodeus, raising his hand and pointing at them.

“Your warding wasn’t designed for the likes of me, Sammy boy,” the demon drawled and send them crashing into the wall. Pleased with his grand entrance he walked into the war room, feeling confident and in control. Seeing Sam Winchester and Castiel writhe before him in agony made him feel good and this was only the beginning. He had a world of anguish in mind for them. But first things first. “I’ve come to claim what’s mine.”

Sam fought the demon’s punishing hold on him, but found himself powerless. Asmodeus was too strong, and one look at Castiel told him that his friend was also unable to free himself of the spell. Helplessly he was forced to watch how two demons dragged Gabriel to his feet and over toward Asmodeus.

“Oh, I missed you, boy,” Asmodeus sneered, truly relishing seeing the terror in Gabriel’s eyes. As he’d expected, the archangel still feared him; excellent. “I might have to punish you rather severely I’m afraid.” The fear in Gabriel’s eyes doubled and the archangel even momentarily struggled to free himself, but the two demons easily subdued him. 

Gabriel only worried about Sam’s safety, not his own. Seeing Sam helpless and in the clutches of Asmodeus’ spell, he wished he could help, but he was powerless. Asmodeus’ presence had brought it all back; the pain, the humiliation and the madness, and he was back there – in the throne room, locked away, cowering and doing his best to avoid drawing Asmodeus’ attention. 

Asmodeus, pleased for now, nodded for the demons to take Gabriel back to hell. Then he turned around. He hadn’t quite forgotten about Sam Winchester and the bloody angel. He was going to have some fun. “And as for you two…” He increased the pressure and loved seeing them cower in pain before him.

Gabriel looked at Sam from over his shoulder and hated himself for being unable to help. Sam didn’t deserve this and he had brought this upon his lover. This was his fault.

…

Dean was the first to arrive and didn’t hesitate, seeing Sam and Cas both in pain and at Asmodeus’ mercy. He uncovered the archangel blade and charged ahead. 

Asmodeus, however, sent Dean with a mere flick of his wrist into the opposite wall. Dean went down with a loud thud and stayed down for a moment, his fingers unwillingly releasing the archangel blade, which Asmodeus quickly moved out of his reach. “Well, little Dean Winchester decided to join the fun after all. I wondered where you were at, son.”

Dean, still reeling from the impact, tried to decide what to do next. Cas and Sam were incapacitated and unable to help now that Asmodeus continued his crushing hold on them. Two demons were dragging Gabriel toward the exit and the look on the archangel’s face was one of despair. Dean was about to push himself to his feet and to attack again, when an invisible force slammed into him, twisting his insides and pressing him against the wall. “Damn you,” he cursed. Where was Lucifer when he needed him?

Hearing Sam whimper in agony caused Gabriel pain in turn. “No,” he whispered. He wasn’t going to allow this. Gathering his strength, he managed to shake off the two demons and flung them to the floor. Unfortunately, he lost his balance and fell down the stair case, landing on the floor, panting hard. 

“Gabriel, what you’re doing, son?” Asmodeus turned around and glared at the injured archangel, who had just earned himself more punishment later. “You know too well what I can do to you! I broke you! You’re too weak!” All it took was another demonstration of his power and he had Gabriel withering on the floor. But that wasn’t enough; Gabriel had to pay for disobeying him – now. 

Sam, trying hard not to break under the pain, could only helplessly watch Asmodeus uncover his whip. He doubled his efforts to break free, but the demon’s hold was too strong. Gabriel’s state of mind was already fragile and there was no way of telling what seeing that whip would do to the archangel. 

Gabriel, huddled in a corner, watched Asmodeus ready his whip and flinched in remembered pain. He covered his face between his hands and pressed his back against the wall, hoping to minimize the whip’s devastating impact. But the whip never lashed out at him. Instead, someone started applauding and drew Asmodeus’ attention away from him. Gabriel had a hard time convincing himself that he might have escaped another flogging. It was probably merely postponed. 

Lucifer leaned comfortably against the wall and applauded loudly. “Lord Asmodeus,” he said and grinned smugly. “I may have underestimated you.”

Asmodeus never expected to see Lucifer here, but quickly recovered. Pulling the whip tightly against him, he turned to face his creator. “Lucifer,” he slurred slowly. What was the devil doing here and why was he applauding his actions? Only then the way Lucifer had addressed him registered with him. Lord Asmodeus? That was a first – but the respect was welcome. He had always wanted Lucifer’s approval. Was he finally getting it?

“I love what you’ve done to my little brother!” Lucifer strutted toward Asmodeus and looked at Gabriel with disdain. “I never quite succeeded in getting my hands on him, let alone make him cower like that. You outdid yourself! And do I really smell blood on him? Did you make him bleed?” 

“You bastard!” Dean managed from between clenched teeth. He should have known better than to even consider trusting Lucifer. 

“No one asked your opinion!” Lucifer spat at Dean and then proceeded toward Asmodeus. “You’re going to punish him? Can I watch? Or can I do it myself? I’ve dreamed of making Gabriel pay for rising against me. Asmodeus, it’s me. Lucifer, make me happy. Let me do this.”

Sam tried to blend out Lucifer and focused on Gabriel instead. A world of pain looked back at him from those large eyes. Lucifer betraying him again must hurt Gabriel deeply. If only he could break free and help his lover!

“I knew it,” Gabriel whimpered, careful to avoid eye contact. “You can’t change.”

Asmodeus, feeling smug now that his creator seemed so pleased with his achievements, had a hard time remembering why he’d wanted to kill Lucifer in the first place. For millennia he had sought after Lucifer’s praise and now that he was getting it… “Your wish is my command, Lord Lucifer,” Asmodeus said respectfully and handed Lucifer the whip. “As you can see I’ve modified it.”

“Yeah, you did,” Lucifer said, appraising Asmodeus. “You do me proud, son.” 

Asmodeus straightened his shoulders, nodded respectfully, and turned toward Gabriel.”He’s yours, milord.”

“Excellent!” Lucifer grabbed the handle tightly and readied the whip. He was truly going to enjoy this.

TBC

 

 

 

 

 

 

Part 10 

Gabriel closed his eyes, unable to deal with the fact that it was Lucifer, his brother, who was going to whip him. Asmodeus flogging him had left him in pain and bleeding, but to know that Lucifer wanted to torture him too, caused a whole new world of emotional pain. He buried his right hand in his pocket and searched for the pouch, which held his tears, so precious to Sam. He needed something to hold onto in his darkest hour. All eleven diamonds slipped into the palm of his hand and he tightly closed his fingers around them, not wanting to lose a single one of them.  
He didn’t notice it at first, as he had tensed, waiting for the whip to impact, but eventually he realized the diamonds were growing warmer. They became so damn hot that he opened his hand and the diamonds rolled away from him, spreading all over the floor. Fuck, he had lost them after all. 

Sam was unable to help, still suffering Asmodeus’ crushing hold. He’d promised to keep those gem stones safe and now he had failed Gabriel.

“What’s that?” Asmodeus moved closer, eager and curious to find out what Gabriel had lost and was now his. Everything his possession owned was his! Then, something else registered with him. Lucifer hadn’t acted yet. “Lord Lucifer,” he said and gestured at Gabriel. “What are you waiting for?” Looking at Lucifer, he shivered. That grin on Lucifer’s face made him anxious.

“Little Asmodeus… I’m truly going to enjoy destroy you. You fucking hurt my brother! No one does that!” Lucifer exploded with rage and the whip’s markings vanished into thin air, taking his sigil with them. Next, the whip caught fire and he threw it away from him in disgust. “I had to get it away from you first. I couldn’t risk you using it on Gabriel.”

Asmodeus blinked. What the hell was going on? Why was his whip gone and what was Lucifer saying? No, this wasn’t happening. Only a moment ago, Lucifer had praised him! 

“I shouldn’t have created that whip, but I never realized the power residing in those markings and that my sigil added to it. Trust me, it’s a mistake I won’t make again.” Lucifer advanced on the current King of Hell, letting his rage fuel his power. But was he strong enough to take out Asmodeus? Not so long ago, Asmodeus had easily defeated him. 

Stunned, Sam made eye contact with his brother. What the hell was going on? Had Lucifer really turned on Asmodeus? Dean looked equally baffled, but Sam could tell his brother was already planning to attack Asmodeus, should he get the chance to do so. Cas, next to him, squirmed and doubled his efforts to break free. Unfortunately, Asmodeus’ hold remained too strong for them.

“I should have known,” Asmodeus snarled, displeased with himself that he had fallen for Lucifer’s ploy. If only he hadn’t been so eager, so damn hungry for the devil’s approval. “I can still take you. You’re weak!” Asmodeus concentrated his power and blasted Lucifer through the room. “I’ll make you pay for what you did!”

Gabriel wasn’t sure what was going on when Asmodeus suddenly targeted Lucifer. All he knew was that he had been spared another flogging. From the corner of his eye he watched Asmodeus stalk Lucifer. Had Lucifer really come to his defense? Had his brother destroyed that blasted whip? Or was it just another game Lucifer was playing? His head reeled; he reminded himself that he had something else to worry about; those diamonds carrying his sigil were powering themselves up and calling out to him. Something Lucifer had said made it through the deep recesses of his mind. Something about his sigil strengthening the power residing in the whip. What if those diamonds carrying his sigil could be used in a similar way? His thoughts flashed back to creating the archangel blades. Michael had provided the sheer power, but he had channeled it and modified it to his needs. He had shaped those blades. But it was no good. He might be able to use the diamonds to strengthen himself, but he lacked the necessary power to begin with. All that grace sat inside Asmodeus and strengthened the Ruler of Hell.

Sam hadn’t taken his eyes off his lover and wondered about Gabriel’s sudden alert expression. Something was going on, but he had no idea what. At the other side of the room, Asmodeus was punishing Lucifer, targeting his head with vicious kicks to the temple.

Lucifer cursed and cussed, damning Asmodeus to hell and promising him eternal damnation for what the Prince of Hell was doing to him. He had never been this humiliated before! Savage kicks impacted against his temple and he swayed on his knees, eventually collapsing into a heap.

Gabriel watched it all unfold and knew that if he didn’t find a way to deal with Asmodeus the demon would end them all. The question was, how much grace did he have left? Was it enough to pull off one more trick? He had watched his father create worlds, stars, black holes and so much more. Could he do something similar to that? He had created those blades once. He had to try or else his lover, brothers, and friends would die. Gathering his strength, Gabriel raised his right hand and aligned himself with the power radiating from those diamonds, his tears. They were a part of him and he would use that to his advantage. 

Sam had no idea what Gabriel was up to and Asmodeus’ hold on him limited him to merely being a spectator. Eleven diamonds suddenly floated up in the air, assuming positions and aligning themselves to form some sort of sign. A sigil, Sam realized belatedly. He had seen it in those books he had studied. Was it Gabriel’s sigil or was he mistaken? He thought he recognized it.

Asmodeus, growing aware something was happening behind him, turned around, momentarily abandoning pummeling Lucifer. Staring at the sigil that had formed above Gabriel, he suspected he might be in trouble. He had underestimated the archangel, who had more grace left than he had thought. It was time to get out of there.

“Not so fast,” Gabriel said in a clipped tone as he looked up from the floor where he was huddled. “You have something that belongs to me, demon.” Tapping into his last power reserves, he opened the channel between him and the sigil, letting his grace flow freely. He instantly felt strengthened and managed to push himself up. Leaning against the wall for support, he channeled that power through the sigil and connected it to the grace currently residing in the Prince of Hell. “I want it back!” Closing his hand into a fist, he started pulling his grace back inside himself.

Asmodeus screamed. He didn’t know what was happening, but all of a sudden he was in immense pain. His body burned and the agony he was in caused him to lose control. He could no longer keep the enemy down.

Dean was the first to regain control over his body. Lucifer, who had ended up next to him, also seemed to be recovering and the devil smirked victoriously. 

“That’s my little brother over there, kicking ass!” Lucifer grinned, hungrily watching Asmodeus’ demise and urging Gabriel on.

Dean merely blinked and crawled over to Sam and Cas, who were moving about again now that Asmodeus’ hold on them was gone. “Sammy, what’s happening?” he asked and nodded toward Gabriel.

“I have no idea,” Sam admitted, breathlessly. Fascinated, he stared at Gabriel, whose eyes had turned blue again. The sigil burned with silver energy and then the grace returned to its rightful owner, enveloping Gabriel in silver light. 

A humming sound filled the room and time itself seemed to come to a halt before the sigil exploded. Instead of diamonds, black crystals dropped onto the floor. They had fulfilled their purpose and had burned up. Gabriel reeled with the sudden influx of power. That much grace returning to him all at once was almost too much to bear, but he held on. 

Impressed, Lucifer was content to watch the show. His little brother had blasted Asmodeus to pieces, but Lucifer wished he had been the one to destroy the demon, as he had created the monster in the first place. But even he recognized the poetic justice in Gabriel extracting his own vengeance. Using that sigil to strengthen and channel his grace had been a stroke of genius and he had no problems admitting it. Truth be told, he felt more than a little proud. “That’s my little brother,” he repeated, and wiggled an eyebrow while looking at Castiel. “They grow up so fast!”

Sam pretended he didn’t hear it. Lucifer wasn’t his concern at the moment; Gabriel was. The archangel’s form appeared from beneath the silver light and Sam found himself holding his breath. Glorious wings unfolded and this time, they weren’t merely shadows on a wall, which only hinted at the presence of wings. They were the real thing. Those glorious wings consisted of golden, white and silver feathers and their span was huge. 

“He always was a bit of a show off,” Lucifer quipped, finding his brother’s display rather entertaining. All he needed was some popcorn!

“I’ll be damned,” Dean muttered beneath his breath.

“That can be arranged,” Lucifer replied in amused tone.

“Shut up,” Castiel told Lucifer and glared at him. His brother was ruining everything with his stupid comments. He wanted to savor the moment instead. He had hoped there was a way to restore Gabriel to his former glory, but to actually see it happen was something completely different.

The silver light faded away, the wings became shadows after all, and only Gabriel remained, kneeling on the floor and swaying slightly from the impact. Sam wasted no time and crawled over to his lover. “Gabe?” he said, not daring to approach yet. 

Gabriel quivered briefly, closed his eyes, and was barely able to believe what had happened just now. He had really pulled it off. His trick had worked and he was whole once more. 

“Gabriel? Can you hear me? Are you okay?” Sam wasn’t giving up yet. Tentatively, he rested a hand on Gabriel’s shoulder, hoping the touch helped the archangel focus. “It’s me, Sam.”

Gabriel smiled. “Sammy,” he whispered and made eye contact. 

Releasing the breath he had been holding, Sam moved forward and carefully gathered the archangel in his arms. “Are you okay?” 

“Yeah, swell,” Gabriel quipped tiredly and rested his head against Sam’s chest. “I wasn’t sure it would work, but it did.” He shifted his head a little. “Is Asmodeus gone? Did I destroy him?” Looking at the spot where his nemesis had stood he only encountered ashes, scattered across the floor. 

“You destroyed him,” Sam confirmed and watched his lover carefully. Gabriel looked well. The bruises that had marred the archangel’s face were gone and his fingertips no longer encountered welts beneath the fabric of Gabriel’s shirt. “You’re healed!”

“Yeah, looks like it.” Gabriel wanted to add something funny, but his wit deserted him. He felt comfortable resting in Sam’s arms and relished the moment.

Castiel helped Dean back onto his feet and smiled at them. He felt privileged for witnessing that. He had only heard stories about Gabriel forging the archangel blades and the amount of sheer power that had been set free while doing so. Now he had a pretty good idea of how everything had gone down.

Dean accepted the help, although he didn’t need it and allowed Cas to pull him to his feet. He grabbed hold of the angel and wrapped an arm around Cas’ shoulders. “Everything actually worked out,” he said in disbelief.

“Hey, is my old room still available?” Lucifer felt it was safest to return to his old act. Although he felt proud of Gabriel, and was grateful to see his brother recovered, he didn’t know what to do with that realization. He was the devil; he didn’t get sentimental!

Dean had briefly forgotten about Lucifer in the heat of the moment, but now realized he had a problem. What to do next? Lucifer had come through, even though he hadn’t expected it. 

Gabriel shifted his gaze from Sam to Lucifer. He still had a hard time understanding everything that had happened just now. How did Lucifer fit in? Was it just his imagination or had Lucifer tried to protect him? Could that really be? “I don’t get it,” he said, addressing Lucifer. “What happened just now?”

Lucifer shrugged, definitely feeling out of his league. It was one thing to plan Asmodeus’ demise and to protect his brother. Owning up to it and actually telling Gabriel he cared was a wholly different matter. “Uh, you did something crazy?”

That was all Lucifer could come up with? Lucifer was still seated on the floor, leaning against the wall, and apparently at ease, but Gabriel didn’t buy it. He knew Lucifer. But Gabriel was loathe to get up just yet, enjoying being close to Sam and wrapped up in his lover’s embrace.

“You betrayed Asmodeus,” Dean said, moving the conversation ahead, seeing both archangels were clueless as how to proceed. He knew what it was like, having to talk things out after having had an argument. He was surprised to find he wanted to help. “You played him.”

“I had to,” Lucifer admitted. “I had to get that whip away from him first. Gabriel, I created it and am to blame for the pain you suffered because of that whip. I had to destroy it first. I hate admitting it, but Asmodeus himself was too strong for me to take out. Good thing you managed to get your grace back. Stroke of genius, brother!”

Gabriel was at a loss for words. Lucifer had really helped, had actually protected him. “Why? Why do it? Why help me?”

Lucifer couldn’t remember the last time he had felt shy, but looking at Gabriel now and seeing the fragile hope in those eyes, he actually felt incredibly shy. That sensation made him want to bolt from the room. But he had come this far and couldn’t give up now because he felt uncomfortable. “I told you,” he whispered. “I am changed.”

Gabriel considered Lucifer’s words and actions. Could it be true? “I need time,” he said eventually. “After everything that happened, I still can’t believe you’ve changed, but you did turn on Asmodeus. You did protect me.” Lucifer’s smile was remarkably sad and full of emotions, something that Gabriel found hard to believe. “You’ll have to prove yourself to me,” he warned. Lucifer was asking a lot of him!

“I will. Maybe I can help you deal with Michael. I never could stand him, and this alternate version will be arrogant as hell too. And I want to see my son. I want to meet Jack.”

Even Sam had to admit Lucifer sounded sincere, but like Gabriel, he was loathe to trust the fallen archangel after everything Lucifer had put them through. Gabriel was right; Lucifer had to prove himself to them first. 

“So, can I move in or do I have to find my own place? At least I don’t sing crappy, old folk songs like dad does,” Lucifer continued, trying to make light of the situation. He found himself at a crossroads and what happened now would determine which direction his life would take.

Dean was tempted to make the final decision, but looked to Gabriel instead. “As long as he behaves himself, he can move in.” They needed Lucifer; needed his grace, and if possible his cooperation. If having Lucifer move into his old room did the trick, he would allow it. As far as he was concerned though, Gabriel had the final say in the matter.

Gabriel didn’t make his decision lightly and considered everything that had happened. Letting Lucifer back into his life was crazy and scared him, but he couldn’t deny that he wanted his brother back. He wanted Lucifer at his side, even if it would only last for a short time. “You can stay. Don’t fuck up though.”

“I probably will,” Lucifer said, knowing he would have a hard time fitting in. “But I’ll try not to fuck up too badly.”

Gabriel managed a smile. “That’s good enough for me.” He quickly checked with Sam if letting Lucifer stay was okay. Sam had suffered terribly because of Lucifer. 

“I’ll survive,” Sam assured his lover. As long as Lucifer behaved, he would manage.

TBC

 

 

Part 11

“What are you doing?” Gabriel walked up to Sam, who was kneeling on the floor in the war room. Sam appeared to be collecting something and looking closely, he realized his lover was gathering the black, burned up crystals which had once been diamonds. 

“Can’t leave these behind.” Sam slipped the black crystals back into the velvet pouch and then into his pocket. After getting up from the floor, he looked at Gabriel. “How did you know it would work?”

“I didn’t,” Gabriel admitted. “But I had to try. Lucifer was too weak to take out Asmodeus and I couldn’t let you die. I had to try something and I channeled energy before – not into me, but still. I hoped it would work.”

“So you’re back to your normal self?” Sam wrapped an arm around Gabriel’s shoulder and pulled him close.

“Yeah, I’m back to being a fully powered archangel.” And it was good to be himself again. “I have you to thank for that.”

Sam shook his head. “I might have helped, but you did it yourself. You fought yourself a way back. You could have chosen to lock yourself away after what Asmodeus did to you, but you fought back.”

“What doesn’t kill you, makes you stronger,” Gabriel quipped, but then turned serious again. “Are you sure you don’t mind Lucifer staying?”

“As I said earlier, I’ll manage. I hope Dean will survive though. Lucifer’s room is next to his and they’ve had arguments in the past because Lucifer cranked up the volume of his music.”

Gabriel chuckled. “Kids these days! Maybe I should check up on Lucifer before we turn in for the night? Make sure everything’s fine?” 

“Yeah, why don’t you do that? I can do with a shower and I’ll see you in our room later.” Sam had plans and Gabriel wanting to check on Lucifer was perfect.

Gabriel’s eyes narrowed briefly, wondering about Sam’s enthusiasm, but then dismissed it. His lover probably just needed some time to himself.

…

Gabriel walked down the corridor and wondered about Dean standing in front of Lucifer’s room. The older Winchester’s face carried an odd look and Dean seemed at odds. “Is something wrong? Is Lucifer misbehaving?”

Dean looked up at hearing Gabriel’s voice and shook his head. “No, he’s behaving. That’s what worries me.” Looking at Gabriel, Dean smiled. Damn, it was good to have Gabriel back, even though it probably meant being pranked – a lot – in the future. “Are you back to your normal self?” 

“Yeah,” Gabriel replied and wanted to add something funny, but then Dean’s sincere expression registered with him. “Thanks for everything, Dean. I mean it. You didn’t have to take me on, but Sam and you did.” 

Dean was quick to dismiss the sentiment. “Nothing special about that. We have to help each other out, don’t we?”

Gabriel nodded and smiled. “Want me to check on my brother and find out what he’s up to?”

Relieved, Dean nodded once. “Yeah. I can’t imagine what it must be like for you now that Lucifer came through. He really had me worried back there when he demanded Asmodeus’ whip to flog you. It confirmed my doubts about him and then he destroyed the damn thing and distracted Asmodeus long enough for you to take him out.”

“Sometimes people surprise us,” Gabriel mused and watched Dean return to his room. From the corner of his eye, he saw Castiel sitting on the bed, his back resting against the head board and still fully clothed. Maybe he should snap his fingers and take away Castiel’s clothes? That might be fun! But no, not yet, maybe later.

Gabriel knocked on the door to Lucifer’s room, knowing he didn’t need to announce his presence. Lucifer had probably overheard his entire conversation with Dean, as his brother wasn’t that low on power.

“Sure, you can come on in,” came Lucifer’s voice from inside the room.

Gabriel opened the door and stepped inside. Lucifer was stretched out on the bed, watching television. Not sure how to proceed, Gabriel walked over to the bed and sat down on the side. “What are you watching?”

“Something called Game of Thrones. I like its decadence.” Lucifer switched off the volume and studied Gabriel instead. “Checking up on your big brother?”

“Dean’s worried because you’re behaving,” Gabriel said truthfully. “And I must admit, I’m worried too.”

“Because I’m not threatening to kill anyone?” Lucifer sighed dramatically. “This might be hard to believe but I really want a shot at meeting my son. I used to be part of a family and back then, I liked it. Is it strange for me to want that again?”

“No, it’s not,” Gabriel replied and for the first time, he started to believe that maybe Lucifer could change. “Just remember not to run when it gets tough. You’ll have to stick in there.” He knew he had made a valid point when Lucifer avoided eye contact and stared at the television again. Gabriel moved closer, took hold of the remote control, and switched the damn thing off. He wondered how Lucifer was going to react to that.

Lucifer rolled back his eyes and reluctantly looked at his brother again. “Are you trying to go big brother on me?”

“No, that’s your part and today you lived up to that. I didn’t think you had it in you and you proved me wrong. You didn’t choose the easy way out. You could have allied yourself with Asmodeus, you could have ditched me, but you didn’t. Instead, you put yourself in harm’s way. Asmodeus was stronger than you. You knew that, yet you distracted him, drew his attention away from me and made yourself a target. That’s what big brothers do, Lucifer. That’s what dads do when the going gets tough.”

Lucifer’s eyes began tearing up again. Embarrassed, he turned his head away. He didn’t want Gabriel to see him shed tears again. He quickly wiped at his eyes, ridding himself of any tears. 

“There’s hope for you yet, brother,” Gabriel said softly. “Just stick around long enough to give yourself a chance to experience having a family again. The Winchesters need time to get used to having you around without you trying to kill them. Castiel has long decided to give you a chance. He wants to believe you can change and you’re quickly winning me over too. Just stick in there, brother.”

“Thanks, now get going, commercial break is over.” Gabriel switched the television back on, turned up the sound and gestured for Gabriel to leave his room. The conversation had made him emotional and he wasn’t ready yet for Gabriel to see him like that.

“Enjoy the show, Lucifer,” Gabriel whispered as he got to his feet and made his way over to the doorway. He prayed that for once his brother wouldn’t run and face his feelings instead.

…

Sam couldn’t recall being this nervous before. After taking a quick shower, he hadn’t bothered getting dressed again. Considering his plans for the upcoming night, being naked was preferable. He checked the candles he had placed across the room and put on some romantic music. God, he hoped he wasn’t overdoing it. He didn’t want to overwhelm Gabriel or have the archangel make fun of him for being a romantic, but he did want to get his point across. He wanted them to make love – finally. 

Sam slipped between the covers, turned onto his side, and watched the door so he would catch Gabriel entering the room. He felt jittery, which was a first. Normally he felt comfortable between the sheets and no one he had ever been with had had reason to complain about this performance, but this was different. Yes, in college he’d had a few one-nightstands with guys, but nothing serious. He’d mostly been curious to what it was like being with a man and he had experimented, but that seemed a lifetime ago. So much had happened since then. The doorknob turning alerted him that Gabriel was back. Fuck, he drew in a deep breath and hoped for the best.

On the other side of the door, Gabriel grinned. Now that his power had been fully restored, it was hard to ignore Sam’s thoughts which were screaming his intentions at him. Well, he’d do his best not to disappoint. Opening the door, he made sure to act surprised upon entering the room. Sam really had made an effort, he realized. He should have known his lover was a romantic at heart. “Hello, Sammy,” he whispered and closed the door behind him, even locking it, as he wanted to make sure they weren’t interrupted. “Looking great,” he added as he advanced on the bed. “The room too, but mostly you.”

Still nervous and surprisingly awkward, Sam licked his lips. “You’re okay with this?” It might not be a romantic thing to say, but he had to make sure. Up until now Gabriel and he hadn’t had much privacy and he wanted to be sure the archangel wanted this too.

“More than okay.” Gabriel crawled onto the bed, straddled his lover, and leaned in closer for a kiss. Sam’s arms closed around him, embracing him, and pulling him close. Gabriel’s fingers moved into the brown hair and he took his time kissing Sam, mewing softly to let his lover know how much he enjoyed their kiss. Beneath him, Sam was already hard. Momentarily deserting Sam’s lips and breaking off the kiss, he enjoyed the easy access. “You should ditch wearing clothes more often.”

Sam wasn’t sure about their dynamics in bed, but decided against bringing it up, hoping things would sort themselves out. For the moment he was fine with Gabriel being in charge and on top. He placed his hands on other side of his lover’s head and claimed Gabriel’s lips once more. 

Sam’s passion fueled his own and Gabriel rubbed his lower body against his lover’s, creating friction and drawing needy groans from the man withering beneath him. “I like the way you move,” he whispered and pushed himself upright again.

Sam quickly used that to his advantage and pulled at Gabriel’s shirt, signaling his lover to lose it. Gabriel removed it and dropped it onto the floor. Now that Sam finally had access to more skin, his hands roamed his lover’s chest before gently running his fingertips down the once more smooth back. The lacerations were gone and the flesh whole again. He would have hated for Gabriel to carry away scars from his ordeal. His hands moved lower still, unbuttoned and unzipped Gabriel’s slacks and pushed the fabric out of the way. He chuckled loudly, finding Gabriel still wearing Dean’s briefs.

“Those have to go,” Gabriel stated and snapped his fingers; his remaining clothes disappeared. 

“Better, much better,” Sam said approvingly. He loved running his hands down his lover’s flanks and they settled on Gabriel’s hips. Gabriel was smaller, but sturdy and as far as Sam was concerned, perfect. “Come here you,” he whispered and wrapped his arms around his lover’s shoulders, pulling him close and taking Gabriel’s lips in a possessive kiss.

Panting softly because of all that pent up passion being directed at him, Gabriel surrendered to the kiss. His right hand moved lower and wrapped itself around Sam’s cock. He wanted Sam to last longer later and that wouldn’t happen if he didn’t give his lover some much needed release first. 

Sam’s breathing hitched upon feeling those fingers curled around his weeping cock and his hips rose higher, trying to intensify the sensation. 

“Slow down, or this will be over before we got started. Let me do this, yes?” Gabriel was sure that out of the two of them, he was more experienced, but he wasn’t going to question Sam’s experience with men at such a point. 

Sam was long past the point of no return and he came that moment, Gabriel’s touch pushing him over the edge. 

Gabriel loved the way Sam looked at the moment of his release and burned the image into his memory. No one was going to take away this moment in time. He’d always remember this.

“Fuck, I’m sorry,” Sam whimpered, shocked that he had come and spilled himself all over Gabriel’s hand. That hadn’t been his intention. He had wanted them to make love and not to come like some overly excited teenager!

“Don’t worry about it.” Gabriel bent from the hip and kissed Sam’s chest, running the tip of his tongue along the breastbone. “I’m flattered that you want me that much.”

Sam sighed in relief. “The things you do to me.”

“I’m not done yet. Actually I’m only getting started,” he hinted and licked his lips suggestively. “And this time, you’ll last longer.”

“You did that on purpose,” Sam realized and glared at the archangel for good measure. “I should have known.”

At that point, Gabriel realized he had to address the matter after all, as he wasn’t going to take anything Sam wasn’t willing to give. “Talk to me, Sam. What do you want? I’m sure you fantasized about this moment. Do you want to take me? Do you want me to make love to you? What do you want?”

A part of Sam felt awkward now that Gabriel was addressing their next move, another part felt hugely relieved, for he had been wondering about the same thing. “Honestly?”

“Yeah, tell me. I want to know.” He was big on consent and wasn’t going to proceed without it. “What do you really want, Sam?”

“I want to be inside you. I want to hear you scream my name when I make you come. I want you, Gabe.” The strange thing was, he hadn’t been sure of that until Gabriel had asked him about it. But now he was. He wanted this more than anything. 

“Then have me, Sam. I’m more than up for the ride.”

And it was true, Sam realized. Gabriel was hard and panting softly. His lover needed release too. “You won’t regret it,” Sam promised and used his hold to reverse their situation, rolling Gabriel beneath him and settled between his lover’s legs. 

Finding himself on his back, Gabriel made himself comfortable and enjoyed the way Sam’s bulk pressed him into the mattress. This was going to be very interesting indeed. “I know I won’t.” He caressed Sam’s face and his other hand stole toward his lover’s groin, finding Sam half erect already. All it took were a few expert strokes and Sam was hard again. This was going to be hard and fast, he could tell by Sam’s needy expression and he was looking forward to it. “Go ahead, you won’t hurt me. One of the perks of being a celestial being.”

Sam slid his hands beneath Gabriel’s buttocks and pulled him closely against him. Lifting his lover’s ass, he aligned himself and slowly entered Gabriel. He was tempted to rush ahead, but paced himself instead as he really want to enjoy this and remember it later. 

Gabriel threw back his head, clawed at the sheet beneath him, and completely surrendered to Sam’s passion. He wasn’t sure what would be more exquisite: Sam sheathing himself with one demanding thrust, or being taken in this slow, but incredibly intense way. He was sure he would find out eventually as this wouldn’t be the last time they made love. For the moment, he was more than content with Sam claiming him slowly, crawling inside him inch by inch.

Sam took great care to do this the right way. He wanted Gabriel to enjoy this as much as he did, even though the archangel’s healing powers would take care of any discomfort. This was important to him. Once he was fully buried inside his lover, Sam supported Gabriel’s legs and inched even closer. 

“Fuck,” escaped Gabriel. He loved being at Sam’s mercy, but he hoped his lover would finally take pity on him and start moving. 

“This okay?” Sam had to make sure. 

“More than okay, but if you don’t start fucking me, then --“ Sam’s first thrust was enough to shut him up. Yes, just like that. He watched Sam closely, saw the way those eyes darkened with lust, and his lover’s expression became rather predatory. Sam was staking his claim, finally. 

Sam’s thrusts grew more demanding and Gabriel closed his eyes in bliss. He had lived for eons, had witnessed the impossible, and wielded incredible power, but nothing compared to making love. 

“Look at me,” Sam said in between thrusts. He wanted to last for Gabriel’s sake, but he was quickly approaching his peak again. Gabriel’s eyes opened and Sam picked up on the pace, loving hearing his lover whimper in need. 

Gabriel wrapped his hand around his cock and stroked himself along with Sam’s thrusts now that his lover was nearing his climax. 

Seeing Gabriel touch himself was too much and Sam lost it. He buried himself to the hilt and climaxed. 

Gabriel followed quickly, finding release as well and immediately wrapped his arms around Sam, who was trembling above him. He pulled Sam against him and held him close. He didn’t speak yet and waited for his lover to calm down. Sam quivered in his arms and Gabriel pressed a kiss onto his brow. He simply held him, giving Sam the time he needed to recover. Making love had been incredibly intense and Gabriel chided himself, he should have expected that after everything they had been through. Especially considering there had been a time they had doubted they would ever get this far. 

Gabriel soothingly rubbing his back helped Sam focus, and tired out, he lifted his head so he could make eye contact. Gabriel had come too, but he had to know for sure. “Was that okay? I kind of lost it toward the end.”

“It was perfect, just the way I like it,” Gabriel soothed Sam, nipping any self-criticism in the butt. Sam rolled off of him and settled on his side. Gabriel moved along, lying down facing Sam, and loved the way his lover’s arms possessively wrapped around him and moved him even closer. He rested his head against Sam’s shoulder and twined their fingers, marveling at how much larger Sam’s hand was compared to his. Luckily for him, everything about his lover was large and that thought made him grin. 

“It’s going to be like this then?” Sam managed to make eye contact, feeling shy now that they had done the deed and all barriers were gone. 

Gabriel could have pretended that he didn’t understand what Sam was asking him, but he refused to play games. Sam deserved honesty. “Just me and you?”

Sam nodded. “I want that.”

“It’s just you and me,” Gabriel confirmed and nodded. “For as long as you want me, Sam.”

“Which will be forever!” Sam chuckled, feeling immensely relieved. They still had a lot of troubles ahead. Michael was readying himself to invade their world, heaven wanted to shut down, they had to retrieve his mother and Jack, and then there was the matter of Lucifer having moved in. But looking into Gabriel’s eyes now, Sam was confident they’d manage – one way or the other.

The end


End file.
